When did leaving primary school become such a big thing?

What? When has that changed? Did year 7 used to go to primary school?

Primary school is a huge part of their lives for 7 years though, the children have often bonded with certain teachers in that time and sometimes - particularly if the child's had a more difficult time of school - so have the parents. Not to mention school friends. It's the same as leaving do's for work colleagues which are a fairly common idea. It's also a big milestone that reminds parents of how much their child has grown in what often feels like a really short space of time. So I can understand them feeling quite emotional, I think making leaving an exciting, happy time is a good memory to give the children - I do think parents should keep their emotions a little more private in case it makes the children worry more about starting secondary school though.

We only really signed shirts/dresses and had an end of year party for years 5 and 6 (in the mid-90s), but lots of my new Y7 classmates at secondary had hoodies with the names of all leavers and talked about their leavers' ceremony/disco etc. It was probably a bit more low key for us because my primary was a teeny village school - if we'd had hoodies they would have had literally six names on them haha! Likewise a disco with just us six wouldn't have been much fun. Looking back I can also see that our teachers spent extra time 1-to-1 with each of us in the week or two before the end of term to talk about our fears and give us a confidence boost/try to make the transition sound more exciting than scary etc.

I do think having a big expensive prom is OTT but moving to secondary is a big deal for most kids and I don't see anything wrong in marking it as such. I remember being really quite distraught at the 'end of an era' and having a little cry about never seeing our wildlife garden or the horse in the field next to the school or my favourite teacher again (I was a very dramatic/emotional child!). I was also extremely nervous about going from such a tiny, friendly primary to a massive secondary in the city which only one of my Y6 classmates was also going to (and even then in a different Y7 class). So it was nice to have that acknowledged.

My age group was the last to attend year 7 in junior/primary school so when I left to go to secondary it was two year groups moving up! We had a huge party and a water fight.

My DC are late 20s and I don’t remember them having anything. I might ask them. I left in mid-70s and obviously had nothing. Stupid to say “it’s always been a thing” because clearly that doesn’t apply in any situation.

I agree nowadays it’s all about the drama - and of course the purchasing.

We got our hymn books signed and that was it. 1993.

I came on to say this. Lovely to celebrate your children but it also seems like another big expectation and event that will make lots of kids anxious. We need to dial stuff down for kids and just let them be.

It’s completely OTT. My DC’s primary has had about 8 things and the kids are all exhausted. Lots of tears of tiredness and just wanting to get on with it.
not all children find these events “nice things”… at our school it has been a never-ending stretching out of a normal transition

Because now everything has to be a drama. I too left primary in the early 70s. Left on the last day by saying bye to the teachers, and getting excited to go to the senior school. Mind you I was a military child so moved every 2.5 years. And just got on with it. God know how most children would cope with that nowadays. Military children must be made of really stern stuff...

I left primary in the mid 70's. "leavers day" consisted of an extra 10 minutes playtime at lunch, during which time I fell off the monkey bars and broke my arm.

Lets ban leaving cards and presents when people move jobs (after it’s only a transition and a waste of money you won’t see them again)

Birthday cards and Christmas cards just go in the bin after a week, what’s the actual point of them?

Should we even celebrate birthdays? They come round every year, seem a bit OTT, it’s not even the person’s birthday who did the hard work (should the mother get more of the lime light?) Birthdays use to be a celebration you lived another year but with more modern medication it’s less important surely?

In the ‘90s we had:

transition day
leavers disco
special assembly

so in answer to your question, it changed over 30 years ago!

The graduation ceremonies and proms seem a lot newer, though, and are imports from the US.

I left primary school in the late 80s. It wasn’t a big deal at all. We might have had a leavers assembly but I can’t remember. It wouldn’t have been anything but a goodbye though. Never had a leavers disco. I think I just walked home with my two best friends and that was that.

Primary school is just the loveliest time, with kinder teachers and just a fun place to learn. Seniors just gets more serious!

my eldest DD will have all of her friends with her at Seniors but she won’t have her teachers who she loves and will miss very very much.

I left primary in the early 90's and we did everything in your list except the graduation ceremony. I do agree that is ott but the rest isn't. Graduation ceremonies seem to be a bit of a thing now - we just had one for DD leaving nursery!

I left primary in 2000 and we had a trip to the seaside, a leavers BBQ on the playing field and signed uniforms. I think I still have my signed summer dress somewhere

If you had had social media at the time you might have had more of an idea of it going on in other schools. But there wasn’t. Grandparents also have more idea of these things going on because of social media, smart phones etc. mine wouldn’t have had a clue as they lived far away from us

I left primary school in 93 and we did shirt signing and there was a disco. Some people got more emotional than others. In hindsight the crazy thing was that literally all of us were going to the same secondary school. We'd done a visit to the secondary school and had a tour, not sure if that's basically a transition day. We did presents for teachers at primary not secondary.

There's a quote that I heard years ago about when kids are overwhelmed with big emotions then it's our job as parents to share our calm rather than join their heightened emotional state.
I think it's really important to acknowledge how a child is feeling about a situation (like in this case leaving primary school) without ramping it up for them into an even bigger deal than they had in their heads already. Trying not to make everything into a drama.

We had leaver's assemblies in my primary school, the leavers would put on a little play and there would be cake. I left 30 years ago!

Nothing in 1971. Nor in 1978 when I left secondary school thank god

Left primary school in 1992. Remember crying - my primary school fed into about six different secondary schools. And it was a big deal - there was a more grown up uniform, there would be homework and lessons with different teachers.

there was a special session for when I left infants (in a separate area) in 1988 too. The top class got presented with bibles and a trip up the church tower.

it is good to mark milestones in life. The happy-sad rollercoaster we’ve been on in the past week as I have children moving on is good.

There's definitely a balance between recognising the milestone and making it a huge deal which can definitely make it seem much scarier than it need be.

We gave presents to teachers at Christmas and end of the year when I was at primary school in the 80s-90s (usually homemade biscuits I think). Not at secondary