Y7- 2023/24 support thread

Wow, I am so so pleased I found this thread. My DS is not enjoying it at all. He is a fairly negative and sensitive boy and hates shouty teachers, which he has a few. He is struggling and we have had tears this morning, not wanting to go. I think it is a mix of tiredness too. A massive adjustment. I just hope it gets better.

Hey everyone,

This thread is a lifeline for me.

I don't feel alone or that my child is the only one going though things which is stupidly how I can get at times.

No one really asks me at work and either way if they did id lie and say it's going well. I work full time and am a single parent no really any friends so good to share for me.

I hate the whole threes a crowd thing / kids leaving a child behind🤬

My ds has been added to a few what's app class groups by other kids. Luckily, he doesn't join in / hasn't written anything within the chat following my orders but the way they talk to each other is crazy and the subject matter.

Well, had another fantastic day as he seems to do everyday. He stayed after school for basketball club again and loved it 😃

Told me about a friend from last weeks club who was in his gym set as they have already grouped them on ability and said he hung round with him.

Did not want to question loads on lunch breaks but he seemed to hang out with some then he says he gets bored and just wants to sit on his own - hard to know. I will give It time.

Well upstairs again as the home work is coming in thick and fast 😢 guess what? This whole bribery with snacks, me helping and robalox isn't working tonight… how can these kids have it every day and over weekend!!!

@Itslosenotloose yes sadly I think you are right. Sounds like the cliques are starting to form at DDs school and the mean girls are starting to show themselves. DD's strategy so far is to avoid and just focus on her little group of 4. Hopefully the mean girls will soon be so busy with their own dramas that they will ignore everyone else but that's probably a vain hope!

My DD went up alone but then I’m hearing of some year 7s being dropped by primary friends which must sting. Basically it’s tough no matter what I think. My DD is just so, so tired (despite sleeping enough hours).

@Busornobus67 I hope she finds other friends soon. 🌸

@Busornobus67 children can be so horrible to each other! I'm undecided whether it is easier for them to move up with primary friends but then risk losing them or to move up on your own and have to start from scratch.

Ugh @Busornobus67 why do children have to be so mean?! I hope your DD finds some new nicer friends soon 🙏🏻

All gone wrong quickly here.
Dd seems to have been dumped already be primary friends.
Theyve started sitting on 2 seats on bus back so she cant sit with them.
Left her on her own at lunch but not clear if it was to go to a club, as they didnt say anything.
Wouldnt surprise me if its about the maths. As dd did ok at the test so will be moving up. But 1 friend who is in that set got only about half her marks. The other is set 2 and hasnt done as well.
Dd is used to a asd (?) boy so just not used to girls who are more sensitive. And frankly neither am i. I did tell her that would be the issue with this school.
the girl called her cringe.
dd doesnt mask but her social issues probably were being masked by having her one friend.
im glad now she wasnt put with anyone from primary.
just dont want to go back to school refusal.
Dd refuses to do any lunch clubs. But anyway the only ones on till after half term are sports (which she hates) and performance.

I play roblox with mine too haha

@lollipoprainbow and @Yoyo2021 I hope things improve rapidly for your DCs, it's so emotionally draining as a parent trying to stay positive for them and also being empathetic and sensitive to their thoughts and feelings, sending you strength (and possibly coffee!) Friendship groups and the confidence to go in that comes with that often seem to take several weeks to settle down.

@BirthdayFlake I so hear you about the amount of admin, I recall it was horrendous last year for my DD, all the things the parents are supposed to check, plus separate things the children have to get the hang of which we obviously initially try and prompt them for! It's not felt quite so bad this year for my DS, I think partly because his school have not set up all the systems right from the start, they are releasing things gradually for which I am grateful.

DS is still finding things a big change but we are having some nice little positive moments now at least and he is actually telling me some things about some of the lessons etc. He's seen a couple of other people get detention or behaviour points for fairly minor indiscretions which seems to have made a big impression on him (anecdotes repeated to me with very wide eyes!) . Now the lessons are getting more in the swing he seems to be enjoying the learning and by and large it seems the teachers have actually read their notes from the SENCO and are looking out for him, just hope it continues!

@lollipoprainbow

My DD cried the minute she opened her eyes but she did go in. Said she was on her own at lunch yesterday.

Sorry to hear about your DD. Please don’t feel shame it’s so hard though isn’t it? Especially when you keep getting asked how they’re getting on 💐.

@lollipoprainbow hope you and your DD are ok. We are not at the stage of school refusal, just tears every morning, but I fear it will come. One if DD's friends refused to go to school last Thursday.

Any ideas why your DD is refusing? Have you spoken to the HOY?

@lollipoprainbow oh no so sorry to read this! Is she flat out just refusing to go?

Shocking morning of school refusal. If one more person asks me how she's getting on at school I'll scream !! Find myself lying saying everything's fine. I'm ashamed to say otherwise.

Oh bless him. This was my biggest fear. Luckily DS has found lunch time mates and bus stop mates. Do the school run lunchtime clubs? It is still early days but I totally get your concerns. When he says he talks then walks on is that his decision? I think they are at that awkward age of not really doing small talk to keep conversations going ( my son has a tendency to talk at rather than with people)

@Yoyo2021 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he finds someone he clicks with. It's still very early days.

Dd has a few pieces of homework now. She has a week to complete each one but I'm encouraging her to start early.

I didn't realise how much would be expected from parents once your child started secondary. Since starting we've had two 2 hour parent information evenings, multiple forms to fill, accounts to set up, emails, topping up cards and of course making sure dd has everything ready each day and any homework completed. It's been not stop so far.

That’s sad. Could he go to the library? DS goes to the library a lot.

@Yoyo2021

Hard to hear 😢 but it really is such early days. It’s good he can open up to you. He wont be alone and he absolutely will get there.

Just had heart to heart with Ds. Found out he is alone most breaks and lunches. He just’ walks about and sits down sometimes. Sometimes he chats to people then walks on’ 🫣😢

I haven’t really overly pushed the homework with DD. I actually work in a secondary school in the pastoral department 🤦‍♀️. I’m not sure if this makes me a bit more lax. I just know that in the first half term it’s important to settle and I like to take a graded approach with some kids. My son being a Duracell bunny was fine from the word go but my DD is a different kettle of fish.

She just needs to be in the building for the first half term and getting used to the new environment and routine. I don’t think the school will come down too heavily on it anyway for the first half term but she’s doing the odd bit.

That's good news @twistyizzy. Pleased to hear it!

After the bus not turning up this morning (and me not having been added to the notification list so we were unaware that it had been delayed) and a dash to school in car to get her there in time, it has turned out to be a good day.
She's had good comments from several teachers about her work and is loving some of the new subjects.
I'm sure that the friendship thing will be a constant roller coaster for a while but she came back happy and smiling so that's a win!

Dd had similar for the last 2 Mondays, I think she is struggling with having to leave an hour earlier and not getting home until hour later. She seems to warm up during the week just Monday struggles.

@Busornobus67 we have been advised to buy sticks but the school does provide them until the kids have their own. However they play hockey twice a week, all year round + matches so they get their money's worth. Your school should supply them.

Also on the homework woes, DS only had two bits so far, a maths works by and an essay. He did his maths worksheet the day he got it but it took all of yesterday to get him to complete the essay ( mostly tears and procrastination) . Goodness knows what he'll be like when it ramps up.

Still nothing re maths set.
And realised it will affect homework set too. So could end up with ridiculously easy homework.
still only got the covering books homework.
i dont like ttr as it was very inflexible. Squeebles was better to learn them.
dd is definitely stressed. Picked a hole in her arm.
they picked the girls pe set using netball. But i guess thats the competitive sport for girls.
we have hockey this term which dd has never played. I assume they provide the sticks??