Y7- 2023/24 support thread

We have another week to go before half term too@gingeristhenewblack43 . Plus we are all recovering from a cold (poss covid but we didn’t test). Both DSs had time off school but do seem very very tired still even now they are back. Floored me too :(. Just keep telling myself the late half term will make the next half term shorter! Hopefully that’s all it is your end (we will need to stagger though while everyone else’s kids relax next week.
Sorry for any messages I’ve missed over the last couple of weeks.
Here DS is getting very stressed about the achievement point system. It’s new this year and I thought it was going ok. DS initially seemed to notice getting points but not be too stressed over them. Recently however this girl in his class seems to have worked out a scheme where she is extra nice/ sucks up to all the teachers, gets loads of points off them and then brags about how many points she has to everyone. I’ve told DS to just ignore her but he can’t especially as some of his other friends have been cuttingly telling her that her total isn’t that great. This makes her even worse and him stress that he doesn’t get enough. His teacher has been saying things like “aim for a point every lesson” which of course makes him think that that’s the minimum expectation……He’s doing absolutely fine but of course his mum saying that means nothing. Argh!
Mostly I just wanted to rant to understanding people but if anyone has any useful advice? I suspect there isn’t any really though.

Our experience with the sen at dd school is really up and down.
The did identify she was alone and offered something
They didnt tell the class teachers anything
Issues with maths caused by school caused our major jssue so far
No direct contact from.senco which lead to
Having sent adhd paperwork (just for opinion as sent main stuff to.primary) to tutor to send on, nothing happened even though i chased twice now. And they then say 'waiting for paperwork' when i said it was with primary?!
I doubt they can write anything as instead of raising with teachers to keep note of any issues they havent so know of no issues!

Anyway yes end of a stressful term. I had hoped dd would have made 1 friend. She still says she wont go to any clubs
I think asd traits have got worse at secondary - she was being carried by her friendship with one boy (also asd).
I think the forms should ask about how much help/scaffolding you are doing for them.
Organising their kit/lunch/getting to school. Or even friendships at primary.
We do tend to avoid getting dd to queue etc

Going through the tutor doesnt work although she seems lovely and replies.

@gingeristhenewblack43 is it due to friendship issues? Or just tiredness?

What a morning with DD! I really thought she wasn't going to go in today. She refused to get dressed until I threatened to phone her dad, which I really hate doing and do as a very last resort. There were tears and stropping and her asking for a covid test hoping it would be positive.

We still have another week to go before half term. Give me strength!

@julesover40
It's just a complete sensory overload for him, and he can't see past it. The pastoral lead and Sendco have put things in place, but he just says that it's awful and too much for him to cope with.
Thank you for the information about a different school, I'll tell my ds. We really don't need him to go from the frying pan into the fire, but maybe we can look for smaller classes (I know it's unlikely), but something needs to happen, bless him

What types of things is she into? Does the school have clubs she could try?

Love pets I'm sorry to hear your DGS is struggling so much. His parents can register interest in another school. Have they had much input from Senco and HOY?
My Dd school seems to have great support in place for senco but also for pastoral care.
She broke up for half term yesterday, completely exhausted but thankfully has settled really well. She moved to a school away from her primary friends and has found herself a little friendship group she's happy in. She also joined the netball club which helped meeting others. She struggles managing her time for homework so hoping to get a good routine in place for next half term.
She has lots of plans with her primary school friends over half term, as well as a few well earned lie ins x

My dgs is still really struggling. He's totally overwhelmed, even though academically, he's doing well. All of a sudden, the tiny traits of autism that we saw before, and that primary school said weren't 'bad enough' to act upon, have now grown exponentially. It's so hard to watch him after half a term still be as anxious as he was the first day.
Does anyone have any idea whether his parents could transfer him to a smaller school if there is a place available? Is it done through the LA, or can they just put his name down to go on a waiting list?
I'm not sure it's the answer, but something needs to be done. The measures the school are putting in to place just don't seem to be enough

DS breaks up today until 2nd November. He’s ready for it. All going ok generally.

DD breaks up today until the 1st November. She is pretty exhausted so will spend most of the week de-compressing. Her birthday is 31sy and we have 2 days out lined up with primary school friends.
The last week it seems that initial friendships are shifting so half term has come at the right time as it has been a difficult week.

Ok but the friendships remain a problem. I'd so hope she would meet others like her, her tribe but is just hasn't happened sadly.

DD1 has an Inset day tomorrow and she's tired - but she seems to be thriving on it and actually socially she seems to be making friends outside the little trio who went up from primary school together (well one has been in hospital most of this half term so she's kind of had to). Very impressed with how the school have supported her with her in that tricky bit sitting on an ASD waiting list.

Now to start the preparation to do it all again with DD2 next year!

Loves most lessons bar a couple of exceptions. Fed up with what to him seems like the utterly bizarre behaviour of others in his year (aka normal teenage behaviour 🤣). Coping well with long days although very tired and ready for half term. For me I've been impressed with school so far and how they've supported him with any issues he's had and they genuinely seem to be trying very hard to make reasonable adjustments where necessary whilst also challenging him to push himself.

How are all the DCs doing? My DD was off Monday and Tuesday with a heavy cold. We were both floored for days. She went back to school today and was not happy.

Still 1.5 weeks until half term and we're both ready for it. Luckily I have annual leave that week. Other than her horse riding lesson I think we will hibernate and chill out.

@Mikimoto Thank you. My ddil has certainly made her feelings known, and my grandson will play unless they practice tackling

Our local Premier League Rugby Club sponsors kids every year from our school and there are many alumni who have played for England so I can't see them ever ending tackling unless they were forced to.

Our local Premier League Rugby Club sponsors kids every year from our school and there are many alumni who have played for England so I can't see them ever ending tackling unless they were forced to.

@lovepets I'd mentioned earlier in the thread that a school in Oxford has completely dropped rugby as so many kids were dropping out, so well worth making your opinion known.

My DS definitely likes all the subject specialist teachers too @JassyRadlett, it does make a difference. His favoured subjects he loves even more now, and there are some he was indifferent to in primary, like science, which have come alive for him now. All the practical experiments definitely help!

Oof that's a long half term @BeverleyMacker.

DS has a week to go and it's mostly end of unit assessments. They seem to be teaching them decent revision skills which I'm pleased about and he's really enjoying it. He's generally bright but will do the minimum he can get away with but he seems to be applying himself a bit more, and he's felt much more settled this week. He told me on Thursday how much he's enjoying it compared to primary. I think a combination of lots of male teachers (he only had female teachers in primary) and subject matter experts is contributing, and he's on a performing arts scholarship programme which means he's got some like-minded kids and teachers around him.

My daughter breaks up on 27th.
Had to email her English teacher as,so far, daughter is doing her homework as soon as she gets it,which is brilliant. They had 2 weeks to do English homework which is online. Unfortunately after a week,the hw resets itself,so she lost all her points from the week before. Emailed teacher explaining as daughter was anxious about it and got a lovely email back saying how well she was doing in class. Made me so happy.
Hope it continues. Hope everyone else here is doing ok xx

@gingeristhenewblack43 DD breaks up in Friday, she is shattered and desperately needs it!
We have tutor/parents pastoral/goal setting call on Tuesday and then first academic report mid-November followed by proper parents evening beginning December. She seems to be getting decent marks and averaging a B+ across all subjects which we are delighted with for her first term.
The mean girl thing will most likely be to them all feeling more confident and settled now so like you say there will be some jockeying for positions 🙄 which I'm sure will continue throughout Yr 7. I've just told DD to try to avoid the mean girls + drama which so far seems to have worked 🤞 although I'm sure at some point it will happen.
I'm really happy that the friendship group seems to consist of the highest performing girls in most classes so that's pushing her to do her best as she in naturally prone to coasting. I'm aware things may change throughout the year.

Another week done 🙌🏻 When is everyone's half term? Ours is late this year and still have another 2 weeks to get through.

Got a progress report for all subjects through for DD last night and was pleased, scoring all good or excellent.

DD has faced some challenges this week with mean girls. I'm hoping it's a bit of 'jockeying for position' type of thing and will settle down.

Yes im not keen in the tackling rugby. And dont think its a good idea for impulsive dd.
i bought dd football boots - she wouldnt try any on though. But she has actually been doing pe! After not doing it at primary. So im not sure if its that they are strict or also because its girl only. Which is sad, we are putting girls off primary sport by making them play against the boys. Off cou rse the girls are tall etc but boys generalky do more sport.
dd2 is 3rd fastest in her primary year against the girls. But would be much lower doing pe against the boys.
dd1 says she cant even catch a ball. Anyone good at our primary was actually due to out of school sports.

re the diagnosis we have been waiting from march 23 for asd referral.
but have adhd paperwork through. Im not sure she will get the diagnosis -- as girl presentation. She can sit still (but gets bored easily and doesnt like it).
a lot of the paperwor k is about academics ..!! Which is crazy she doesnt need to concentrate to learn spelling. And what happens is that she is say top 5% ability wise but comes out 15-25%. Is slower and doesnt want to do hard work. so it looks like she is doing ok. She did well on sats bu t we had to do maybe 50h extra maths at home.