Strict no phones rule at secondary school

There were a number of posters who mentioned that they and their partner and children keep a kind of circular watch on each other, including checking if dad has gone to tesco on the way home.

Well there's a whole array of things that children can't do that adults can.

God, imagine being an adult and not being able to pop into tesco without your children monitoring the situation from base.

I think I'd go crazy if I was being supervised to that degree.

"No, not afraid of his plane crashing. It's just interesting - that kind of ooh, I'm sat at home and DH is flying over Germany, how funny kind of thing. I guess if you don't get it, you don't get it, but flight radar is a popular app so it's not an unusual thing."

Yes-I get this. I think it's fun too. But very different from tracking you child popping into Starbucks on the way home from school.

Why do you ask your DH to text you when he lands? Are you afraid of his plane crashing?

Manners are very different to stalking.

No, not afraid of his plane crashing. It's just interesting - that kind of ooh, I'm sat at home and DH is flying over Germany, how funny kind of thing. I guess if you don't get it, you don't get it, but flight radar is a popular app so it's not an unusual thing.

Why do you ask your DH to text you when he lands? Are you afraid of his plane crashing?

My sons school is the same. They have it on do not disturb between 8:45 and 15:35. It's in their blazer pocket and they leave it alone. It's the same policy that if they get caught using it it's confiscated. Never been a problem in all the years they've been there and I think it's a great rule as well.

@DNAwrangler So far many more than one. You don’t have to agree with them for the parents - the ones who actually know the situation/kids - to feel it’s best!"

Sorry, 2. I forgot the poster who honestly said she felt she was entitled to know where her children were at all times. And actually, all the others are arguments for having a phone-which I agree with- not for tracking.

I know! No wonder we have problems.

I'm just going to repeat the advice from pp.
He can take the phone. Check it's on silent. Keep it in his bag or pocket. Not heard, not seen, all good.

So far many more than one. You don’t have to agree with them for the parents - the ones who actually know the situation/kids - to feel it’s best!

Ds school has a strict no phones rule but that's oj school grounds - provided it's turned off and in her bag will that really be an issue? I am supportive of the no phones in school rule but I did want mine to be able to contact me on the way home and there.

"Just let him take his phone, tell him as long as it's on silent and hasn't disturbed a lesson to not to hand it over and if the teacher tries to take it state you will report them for theft."

Really, really don't do this!

@DNAwrangler "There are, presumably, lots of situations outside of your experience where a parent feels a tracker is the best option."

Yes-I assumed there were. Which is why I asked. So far-one. The extreme mountain biking situation. That's it.

It's not an invasion of privacy but I think it's weird to waste time/brain space tracking something in this way. What is the point of tracking his plane, why do you do this? Is it because you're afraid of his plane crashing?

I would just ask my DH to text me when he lands, we do that most big journeys. But while he's travelling I don't think about where specifically he is between A & B.

Just let him take his phone, tell him as long as it's on silent and hasn't disturbed a lesson to not to hand it over and if the teacher tries to take it state you will report them for theft. Any problems their welcome to ring his mum. My mum ended up in a similar position as I had a long trip home. She made a scene in the heads office and it was never take again. Shouldn't have to resort to behaviour like that but sometimes its the only way.

It's mental that we aren't letting kid use technology to their full advantage, my phone is like a library with multiple textbooks etc that could be helpful. Banning phones in schools doesn't stop inappropriate messages or TikTok's it just means they happen outside of school.

As for smart watches teenagers love goals like the apple rings which encourage activity in an obesity crisis that's a massive advantage.

I assume you have a mobile phone. Why not just get rid of it? Afteral you must have managed without one at some point.

What Three Words is vastly more accurate than any tracker

I am interested if there is any link between lack of resilience and tracking.
I do read about it a lot on mumsnet - all the damage tracking does, but has there been any research done on it? I am genuinely interested. I do track my children, but I reconsider this often and would stop if I thought it was causing actual harm.

same with the tracker though. You are tracking the tracker, not the child…

You're tracking the plane. You have no idea whether your DH is actually on it. I mean, I'm sure you have no reason to doubt his word, but strictly speaking, you have no idea.

Yes hbh17. No one ‘needs’ to make use of any emergent technology because life existed before it… never mind if it could be useful in certain situations.

No child needs to be tracked. Ever. We were all fine walking to and from school before mobile phones were invented. I wish parents would stop stifling their children and over-protecting them..... no wonder some young people seem to lack resilience as a result.

Yes I was also thinking about children who have 2 homes. Completely unreasonable not to allow them to travel with phones. I would come up with a list of all the potential reasons that a child might need their phone before or after school:

To contact parents - few phone boxes around nowadays
Bus/travel pass is on phone
To access travel apps (eg DD tracks her bus and can see if it's going to be late etc.)
Child travels between 2 homes
Child has after school activities
Reasonable adjustments for children with SEN
Reasonable adjustments for children awaiting SEN diagnosis

I'm sure there's more.

@CurlewKate - my DD is 8 and has an AirTag in her school bag . She walks to and from school (20 min walk) with our neighbors DD (same age).

I don’t live in the UK, this is entirely normal here. But it is still alien to me (I’m from the UK). I want to be able to see where she has got to when she is delayed. And sometimes I check that she arrived at school (the school won’t necessarily contact me if she doesn’t show up). I don’t want her to have a phone yet , I’ll delay that as long as possible, so texting not an option. She won’t wear a watch. A tracker it is.

There are, presumably, lots of situations outside of your experience where a parent feels a tracker is the best option.