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Original poster

Upset child after induction day.

111 replies

Sweetie1980 · 27/06/2023 21:28

My ds is the only one going from his primary to his new secondary school. There are kids coming from the junior school and a feeder school so there are a lot of kids that already have friends . He was in tears just now saying he will never make friends and how lots of kids already had friends . He was on his own at break time so a teacher chatted to him . I am so upset for him , have I made a mistake sending him to a school where lots of kids know each other ? I think he will now worry all summer. Any suggestions on how I can help him ? It seems quite a caring school so maybe I should email them .

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 27/06/2023 22:08

Lots of pupils from my primary went to the same secondary as me but the best friend I made was from a different primary, and 50 years on we are still besties.

Friendships will form naturally so tell your DS not to worry too much, there will be plenty of other kids feeling overwhelmed and friendless at the beginning x

Original poster
Sweetie1980 · 27/06/2023 22:07

@DanceMumTaxi that is reassuring , thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweetie1980 · 27/06/2023 22:05

Thank you for all the replies , which are very helpful . Did your children make friends during the induction or when they got into their classes ? I may ask the school if there are any children in the same position . It’s the thought of seeing him on his own at break time that makes me so sad.

OP posts:
DanceMumTaxi · 27/06/2023 22:02

I work in a school with at least 20 feeder primaries, so quite a few kids come on their own. Taster day can be very overwhelming, but I’m almost certain he’ll be absolutely fine after the first week. Lots of friendship groups change in year 7 and the ones who come on their own always make friends once they’re properly in lessons together.

emmylousings · 27/06/2023 21:56

I had this with my DS. I felt awful about it, but felt I had to be positive about it, for him. The 1st week in September was a bit tricky, but quickly got better. Speak to his new form tutor about your concerns. They seem to keep an eye on kids in this situation. The music will help him make connections. Try to let him be honest about the initial awkwardness, without showing your upset too much. Remember that these are really key life skills he's practicing here. Its probably an informative experience overall.
Also, true what others said- the old friendship groups are reformed fast- i noticed that with my older DS who moved with his old year group.

loulouljh · 27/06/2023 21:48

My daughter had an induction day today...there were loads of kids in tears! Its a tough old day...when they get started in September it will be easier ...

AuntieBacterial · 27/06/2023 21:48

We went through this with DD this academic year. She went to a secondary school without anyone else from her primary school. Neither she nor I knew any children or parents of children at the school. Lots of the other kids came in big groups from feeder schools.

I was really worried, but it was her first choice of school and she didn’t seem fazed so I did my best to not let her see how I felt. I am amazed at how quickly she settled. she has done brilliantly and made a good set of friends pretty much straightaway. I think a lot of that is down to the atmosphere set up by the school.

Is there a whatsapp group for the school year or your son’s new class? I really worked hard at parent induction evenings to get to know other parents and get myself added to the whatsapp group. It might help if you suggested an informal meet up in a park or somewhere over the summer - whatsapp groups are great for this. I am sure he won’t be the only one on his own.

It’s a worrying time.

Original poster
Sweetie1980 · 27/06/2023 21:44

Thank you . It is so overwhelming for them . I was really hoping he would have a good day . They also did CATs test which didn’t help !

OP posts:
Iamkitty · 27/06/2023 21:40

Both my dcs were overwhelmed at their induction days, particularly my eldest who came home saying the school was full of gangsters.

Actual school is very different. Old friendship groups breakdown quickly, they sit with different people in each lesson.

Original poster
Sweetie1980 · 27/06/2023 21:36

Thanks , he got in with a music place so maybe that will help . I have told him that he will have a better chance of meeting friends when he is in his class .

OP posts:
UndercoverCop · 27/06/2023 21:31

I didn't know anyone at my secondary school, made friends fast, also met my now DH on the school bus. Does he have any specific interests or hobbies? Sports/music etc common interests helps at that age

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