Upset child after induction day.

many years ago ds was one of only 2 oing from his primary to a massive secondary school. V scary.

but like your son he was a musician. He joined the choir and met some like minded souls. The school was also v good at mixing up the forms so there weren't huge bands of kids from the same school all together so his form group soon became quite a tight little unit.

none of this will help your ds right now - you can only reassure him about why you chose this school in the first place and what he liked about it. are there any older kids from the school who could 'babysit' if you went out for a night? always good to hear how fab a school is from someone older who you are in awe of!

hope it all works out

My DD started secondary knowing a handful of kids from her primary, who she wasn't really proper friends with. She missed the induction day and the summer school as she got a late place.

None of them from her primary ended up in forms together, I'm sure they deliberately spread them out. They've basically all made different friends, I think the only ones who are still real friends rather than chatting occasionally were friends outside of primary school through sports/drama/music clubs.

I was worried and it did take a little while but my DD made some nice friends and is joining more clubs as her confidence grows. When she was struggling I mentioned it to her form tutor who was incredibly helpful and did some of the social engineering others have mentioned. I definitely recommend alerting school to issues early as they are used to this and have lots of things they can do. There's a couple of wellbeing groups at our school that sprung up for struggling kids where they get them all together to do fun stuff and hopefully find their tribe.

It would be fine, as they join school clubs and meet new people and also music clubs mean they meet more kids from a wide age group.

My DS didn't know anyone when moved to secondary. It will be much better once they start, y7 is all geared up for setting them in, there will be a natural rhythm for lessons etc. a couple of lunchtimes might be hard but they possibly will need to be brave and approach kids that seem like their type and seem friendly.
Once they start with music clubs it really will all slot into place and they will find their "tribe" my DS is not sporty but choirs and orchestras etc are just as bonding, they should go to every club they can , it may not be for them but the best way to make friends

I work in a secondary school with children coming from over 60 primary schools, so lots of Y7s the only ones from their primary school.
We do additional sessions for children that don't know anyone else. It would definitely be worth emailing the school to see if something like this could be arranged.

My DD moved to high school with almost everyone from her primary. However she was separated from her friends group in her new form.

They stuck together and DD found a new friend almost instantly, and via her a whole new group of friends. She really only still hangs out with 2 girls from primary, neither of whom were the ones I would have predicted!

Definitely email school
but generally I think kids stick with their primary friends for her first 5 minutes and then quickly new groups are formed.

I knew people when I went to high school. Not many because my primary was tiny but some. They put me in a form with my ‘best friend’, she made friends with THAT girl group and I was mercilessly bullied for the next three years. Knowing people isn’t all it’s cracked up to be - he’ll make friends.

I would add my daughter went with 2 other friends...all put into the same tutor. She is now going into year 11 and is not friends with them at all. They all pretty quickly went their own ways..it has been just fine. She went to a 6th form college taster day this week and suffered a little knowing no-one and standing on her own. Had some rather upset messages! But yet again when she goes I am sure she will find her way as it will be very unlikely she will share A levels with anyone she knows....They are learning life skills as hard as it is to watch as a parent.

I would not spend the Summer dwelling on it. It may be a little tough initially in September but it will pass...the teachers are also on to these things and will be keeping an eye on those their own and will help pair up if needed.

I didn't know anyone from mine. I moved in the October of year 7 to the area and all the pupils had been through the feeder primaries together and those odd few had already had 6 weeks in class.

It was fine.

In some ways I think it was easier because every had known each other for so many years they knew all about each other.

So I was new information and everyone wanted to grill me about my life

Don't forget once they start they are in tutor groups and new classes and so even the closest of friends won't be together all the time and that leaves gaps.

Most of my best friends at Secondary School were made through the music department. I think he'll soon meet people through joining different ensembles.

A week?! What do they do.

My DD didn't go to the induction day. She is the only person from her primary school in her year, and this was a secondary school with 2 large feeder primaries so almost everyone had someone. I didn't send her to the induction for that reason in all honesty. She was very very nervous and hated it the first 2 weeks I won't lie. She begged to move to the school all her friends went to for the first half term, but loved it after. Shes Y10 now and she really appreciates I didn't send her to the school everyone from her primary school went to.

When I was a Y7 form tutor I certainly saw friendship groups reform fairly quickly - lots of children who came with noone they knew made friendships - and as teachers we definitely did some social engineering and sat students with a likely mate if that was seen as helpful.

Are there lunchtime clubs at his school? At my kids secondary there were so many clubs to meet all sorts of interests - and if there wasn't a club to scratch your itch if you wanted to you could start your own - my son set up and ran an airfix club for a couple of years, as well as joining chess, robot club, various stem related clubs including building and driving go-karts, and orchestra and wind band. Hopefully your child will find a club or two he is interested in and meet like minded friends there too, as well as in his form.

Wow just one day, here it's a week! Not sure which is best....

Same experience here last week and I wish they didn’t have these induction days and then leave the kids to worry all summer. Would have been so much better for my son to just get on with it when they actually start.

*They chop and change friends quite often between Yr 7-9 then settle

So many DC who know each other from primary school make new friends and drop each other in Yr 7 so he'll be fine and make friends in class and via their Tutor group. Especially as their parents no longer have control over their social lives

It all changes usually for the better

They chop and change friends quite often between 7-9 then settle

The football boys tend to hunt each other out at break times from all different schools so that brings them together that way

My daughter went up with one girl she knew and was friendly with but within a week they had found a new tribe.

I hated my induction day. We were promised we would all have a friend from primary in our forms. We each had to write down 3 names and they'd match us up.
My group of friends made sure we could all at least be put in pairs from the way we wrote our lists.
I was the only one with nobody. I wasnt even in the same half of the year as the rest (so even when we were split up from forms for lessons I wouldnt be with any of them).
There were two boys from my primary class in my form (they'd written each other down!) But we were not friends and I was gutted.

Turned out not automatically having someone to sit with in form meant I made a new friend in the first week of term, and then quickly made friends with his other friends too. He's still one of my best friends now. That was in 1997. Awful feeling at the start, but a fantastic outcome!

My ds doesn't speak to one primary school friend, they all made new friends and just parted ways.

My son went to secondary school on his own last September. Spent the first day eating lunch on his own then made loads of friends. Heaps came from local schools and hardly any on their own. Don’t worry OP he will be fine. I worried all summer and there was no need

Mine was one of 2 from their primary to go to a particular secondary (the year group seemed to scatter across a number of secondaries with a number of friendship groups staying together - DC's friendship group didn't).
On the induction day they found a large amount of children from the 'feeder' school were already quite matey, but the school had set up groups so that those who didn't know anyone were all in a group - which meant that they were all in the same situation and could relate to each other.
DC made 2 friends during the induction but has since moved on from them and found a new friendship group at senior school. Still in touch with old friends from original primary friendship group too, so it's panned out well.
The first fortnight was a bit 'wobbly' with really feeling how they were "on their own" at this particular secondary, but they've made good progress, and it's worked out well.