Mainstream Special School for Autism

But the head said it only works for girls who want very firm rules, no choice and consequences

This is interesting as she didn't say that when we went to view it. It makes sense though, as I always felt they sometimes tried too hard to mould them into 'you'd never know she's autistic!'. Some girls may well respond to that but mine really didn't so felt very anxious a lot of the time about whether she was a bad person for getting told off.

I don't think it's intentional btw, but I don't think all the staff really understand autism and girls as well as they ought to or say they do.

Yes, I'd say that with hindsight, there really is no appropriate place that my DD could have gone too. She's quite independent but was clearly too independent - however, her learning difficulties were really ignored.

I always felt that some of the teachers (not all) blamed her for not being able to sort it herself. She struggled with focus and despite me spending 5 years repeatedly flagging it up, no-one ever bothered trying to find out why.

One thing she did say recently is that it was nice that none of the girls in her class cared about looking cool/trendy. She's carried that through and so seems to attract people now because they see her as 'authentic', which seems to be its own sort of cool.

I have to say, the public perception is, I think, very different from the opinions of some parents whose girls have been there. They do seem to have film crews and 'Celebs' in semi-regularly due to its status, but as I said, it seems to elevate it beyond criticism.

Which one? Limpsfield? The impression I got when I visited that like a lot of sen schools your have to have the "just right" goldilocks of ASD. So your too bright, too far behind, to anxious, not anxious enough etc etc. But the head said it only works for girls who want very firm rules, no choice and consequences.

With this goldilocks complex I honestly think my dd is better in mainstream where the school has no rights to sift her out. Sad but true. Dd was borderline on her diagnosis and iq upper adverage and I'd say Limpsfield was not a good fit for her. No where is a good fit for her. They didn't show us one single classroom either.

Do not believe the hype. This school is not what Ofsted reports it to be. We have had bad experiences but this is the worst. Cannot believe they have such status. This is not just my opinion. We have a significant team of people reviewing them and they are equally as shocked. Approach with extreme caution

Thank you MrrsTodd
I have to say Limpsfield Grange does sound like a magic school so it’s interesting to hear about how it’s been for your DD.

Just stumbled across this thread.

My DD went to Limpsfield Grange. It's presented as a panacea for autistic girls but it's not necessarily right for everyone.

They don't focus on academics as much as social interaction and independence skills (which they are very good at) - they only offered a few subjects when DD was there (Maths, English, Art, Science, ICT & catering but ICT and Cooking were basic level BTECs.

DD left with no qualifications at all and she's very bright albeit not hugely academic. She's now stuck at college having to redo maths and English in a mainstream setting and it's holding her back from being able to do her course.

The classes are small so the girls get a lot of attention, but the teaching staff are a bit variable, as are the TAs.

It really depends on what you want? For very anxious girls who need to learn independence skills and build confidence over and above academics, then it's fine. The SALT provision is also really good. If academics are important, or if your girls are interested in a wider range of subjects, then I would say probably not.

It is a unique school as it's the only one that caters solely for autistic girls, but then there's nothing to measure them against. They have a high profile due to media and TV, but they're not a magic school and they won't suit everyone.

I know girls that have thrived there, but for my DD, in hindsight I would have sent her somewhere else.

Thanks that is really interesting to hear. Lower pressure at school academically but with heavy emphasis on behavioral adherence for those very minor infringements like the wrong ink color pen (in a kid who’s literally never badly behaved at school ) just seems to be anxiety inducing for DD.

It really is worth seeing the school/ asking in local sen groups.

My 2 autistic girls (well 1 diagnosed) are in the local grammar and it's been amazing.

They "get" quirky clever girls. This means they feel accepted and in amongst peers which is worth so much.

One is doing astronomy gcse "mum I think we nearly all get extra time and I'm not the geekiest in the class."

There is so much less homework than the local schools. Really. Like very little. This isn't great in terms of revising for gcses but brilliant in terms of lack of pressure (vs local school with 30mins/hour a day or detention)

None of the "talk in the corridor and it's detention/drop a pen/come without a clear ruler and it's a behaviour point..." but more of an adult approach.

Understanding SEN. Been great on the days she's had overwhelm and not been able to be in. They don't argue if you say you're sick and need to go home but are lovely.

Girls environment had been good here. Focus on academics without the constant boy stuff going on. And able to shone on maths and science etc.

I've just been blown away by the differences. Much less work/pressure and a nicer calmer environment. Teachers have more time for you as less time spent sorting behaviour.

Not perfect and some kids would keep smaller classes/etc but really good in my area. Obviously each area/school is different but it's been good here 😊

Wow that sounds really brilliant - no arguments about homework at home! Well done your daughter

I very nearly didn’t go for the 11+ because I figured DD was too demand avoidant. And getting her to work towards the test was… challenging. Still, she did well enough to get in.

So far she tries really hard not to do homework at home. She’ll do it at lunchtime (social demands of lunchtime means she appreciates having something to go away and do) or on the bus. I’d rather she did a better job of things by working at her desk at home but I’m staying out of it 😅

She won’t always be able to get away with keeping homework at school but for now I’m enjoying not having to get involved.

Grammars tend to be a lot more relaxed around rules etc and homework load is far lower than at many comps. Their intake is generally kids who are clever, learn fast and don't tend to have behaviour problems so they just don't have the same type of rigid rules the comps seem to all now have.

Thank you very much. I’m really confused about the grammar/high ability teaching side of this. I had thought with PDA it would be safer not to send even a very high ability child to an academically focused school because of the pressure of all the deadlines and essays etc it would be too much.
How is this managed at your DCs’ grammars? (Assuming perfectionism/very high anxiety/PDA is an issue for your ASD child?)

This is why I wanted my autistic girl to go to grammar rather than the local high school. I’m not fussed about stellar results, I just want staff who understand academically able autistic girls. It’s early days but so far I’m really happy with their support and understanding.

Another vote for Egerton Rothesay. A mainstream school for those who need extra help and support but does not accept children who are in any way disruptive.

Thank you both I appreciate the tips

I really feel for you because my daughter masks very well too and also has a similar spikey brain profile. She masks so well her school SENCO actually questioned me just how many sessions she had spent with the psychiatrist before being diagnosed - even though she was only diagnosed after her form teacher completed the assessment and it supported her diagnosis.
After three schools my daughter is finally in the right place but sorry its private and not in north London. May I suggest you start your own thread with the title something like seeking school north london for autistic girl.
I also think its better to go co-ed - my daughter went to two all girls schools (I also have a son) and girls social structure rules are very complicated compared to boys. Also girls put more pressure on themselves and all girl schools can be hot houses for this pressure fed by the girls themselves. The school which suits my daughter now is a co-ed.
One thing I think is important is to choose a school which seems more relaxed. My daughter passed her grammar school entry so is quite bright despite her poor working memory - schools with high academic expectations made her feel overwhelmed. Ironically, her new school with low academic expectations is actually a place she is thriving the most at academically because her academic confidence is soaring as she tends to be on top of her classes.
Also please google infant reflexes not going dormant.

When we were looking for schools for my son all the local grammar schools assured me they had extensive programmes for bright ASD children because it was quite common in grammar schools.

@CoolLikeThat : have you looked at Egerton Rothesay in Berkhamsted?I know they take children from a wide catchment. They transformed DS life. Won place in Tribunal but so so worth it. Wishing you all the luck x

thanks - Y7, N London zone 3 if that helps?

@CoolLikeThat how old is your daughter and what borough?

Is anyone still on here and able to talk about how their choices have worked for their girls?

N Londoner here. My DD with ASD is really struggling in a small MS single sex secondary comprehensive. I thought it would be gentle and low demand enough for her but it isn’t working out well.

At school she’s masking all day (zero behaviour issues, a pleasure to teach etc) At home wildly anxious and furious morning and evening and regressing to hitting and running away and smashing things at home in meltdown. Strongly fits a PDA profile and the demands of homework etc are just too great even though she is just managing to meet the set work by doing hours and hours of work which should take 20-30 mins max.

She seems verbally great academically but has an extremely spiky profile eg Her IQ is at the very top of her age range, but her processing speed at the very bottom. There doesn’t seem to be effective support from the sencos in the current setting who are really nice but not very engaged with DD because of the masking. She clearly can’t take in what the teachers are saying but then responds with long words so they think everything is great.

Can anyone recommend a school for girls with ASD and probably PDA? And secondly do I try to pay to get the PDA diagnosed to help school support her better or will those three letters mean that other schools not accept her if she has it? Feels likely to not work out where she is.

We don’t have the money for private so all of this involves fighting with the LA. Just feel exhausted by it all and haven’t even started really. I also don’t know what would help so don’t know what to direct my energy towards.

You sound amazing. Your DS is very lucky to have you. I'm sorry your tribunal didn't work out. It is very stressful. It is so difficult to find a school for a child that's too typical for specialist but has needs high enough where they make mainstream a struggle.
We've been so lucky to find a specialist school where it's academic (they expect all kids to take 7 GCSEs min) but very nurturing.
I wholeheartedly agree that ND kids mature later. My DD will be retaking the year and I think it'll be perfect for her. She's very similar to the kids in the year below.

Having been through the process (tribunal) of securing specialist indi placement for DS1 and it failing I decided online for DS2 as he was very 'bright' - ie advanced for m/s but ADHD and ASD. Bright in specialist schools means 5 GCSEs. DS2 took 11. Having been home Ed ( with internet school funded by his EHCP) for the whole of secondary he is now thriving at 6th form college and is on course for predicted 3 A*.

ND kids mature later. It is better to not experience failure in m/s or be limited in specialist because of this.

Ok. I've given you my olive branch, let's leave it at that. Have a great day.

I didn’t mention BHS to the OP, I was responding to another poster and your post clearly did disagree with me mentioning it in response to that poster.