How Stressful is the PGCE Really?

The very fact that we are 7 pages in and you don't want to listen to the dozens of posters who know what they are talking about, says a lot.
It is also another reason why you won't make it through a PGCE.

As I said during the pandemic, I was pretty content with life because it was a break from the human world.

Having to be in rooms full of 30 children all day is the very opposite of a break from the human world. You need to enjoy that interaction and group dynamic. You need to be able to manage and control a class full of children, sometimes very difficult ones. And be prepared to be judged constantly on your ability to get them to make progress in spite of their behaviour or effort.

I think it's a little bit OTT to say that you have to have massive passion to be a teacher, but you don't really seem remotely keen on teaching. It sounds like it's all about the security and money you can get out of this job and not at all about what you can put into it. People who become teachers for the wrong reasons generally hate it and do it badly. The way you describe yourself makes you sound very unsuited to being a school teacher.

Teachers aren't all amazing and we aren't all brimming with super skills and confidence, but what most of us do have is a desire to teach, a genuine enjoyment of working with children and a personality which thrives well on 'performing' all day. Wanting a secure job and a decent salary isn't enough.

Clever children who are very aware of what they’re entitled to can be worse!
And parents who are paying for the privilege expect the best.
Look, none of us know if the op would be any good as a teacher. Maybe she would be. My judgement comes only from the things the OP has said about herself.
But I stand by my belief that no children should have to put up with a mediocre teacher. And if you go into the job believing you’re just going to be ‘okay’ at it then maybe it’s not the career for you.
You need confidence and self belief to be a secondary school teacher because the 14 year olds will have you questioning yourself every day.

I don’t think that poster was being flippant. They don’t literally mean you should be a gardener, just that you don’t have to limit yourself. I think you’re set on teaching because you’ve done similar before, but it’s clear from your posts that you don’t have much confidence in your abilities in that area. (You might have been great, but it’s not given you particularly good self esteem!) So do your research and don’t just settle on teaching because it’s what you know.

OK, but teaching bright kids in a private or grammar would be different. Isn't that an option after initial training?

My favourite teachers were a little quirky and truly passionate about their subject. I don't think they were particularly socially adept extroverts. Enthusiasm for the subject is infectious. So maybe you could do a great job.

I'm teaching in primary so did a primary PGCE. I found the year quite tough, but it really does depend on your mentors and what class you're in. I certainly found actual teaching much easier than PGCE, even my first year.
I did enjoy some aspects of it though, certainly the days that I was in university were great, and I got on really well with the teacher in my final placement, so that really helped.

To clarify, I mean myself, other teachers are totally marketable in the cut and thrust of the jobs market and can get any position they want, just not me with my weirdness and work history.

Goodness, this 'I am especially damned and have failed in innumerable ways' stuff is getting old.

You're not special in your dissatisfaction. There are endless 38-year-olds despairing at their lack of progress in life despite promise.

I really can't see your communication style working for a bottom-set year 9 class, or any class for that matter. Your choice of vocabulary and overall language doesn't come across as someone who can communicate to the masses in an engaging way.

High school students can smell fresh meat and they will seek out and exploit weaknesses and those teachers who don't actually want to be there or care for them and if you aren't thick skinned you will struggle.

Whilst academics and time-management are important the real key to teaching is building relationships and communication.

Well I could flip it and that lack of introspection is bad, but I don't.

Well, you are doing so, by that very comment. Just in a pass-agg manner.

Be honest, you'd rather noodle along disagreeing with general concepts than discuss an actual way forward for your career?

I'm talking about being very introspective. That can place a person in their own way, which, I would suggest, you are.

I think you've posted this before? Last time you got a PGCE place, I guess? If so, it beggars belief that you have only spent a few days actually in schools.

The tutor option seems like it has possibilities. Would allow for many of your requirements. But I assume you have considered and rejected this already?

fwiw, I worked as a TA for years, loved it, considered PGCE, but was put off by seeing life as a teacher up close. I would not have survived it and everything you write suggests that you would not either. If you did not manage the PGCE or NQT years, please don't assume it would be a neutral experience. It could be very stressful and destabilising.

You sound very introspective. I don't think that leads to contentment in general or success in teaching. I get the impression though that you are not interested in having your world view challenged.