DS aged 12 has been struggling hugely in his (rated outstanding) Secondary. The first two weeks of yr 7 were ok but since then he’s been increasingly unhappy. Its now entered the realms of depression I think. Multiple reasons, its a huge school (1600 pupils) noisy and chaotic. Friendships gave been hard to navigate although teachers say he does have friends. He has neurodiversity traits and is waiting for an assessment for ASD/ ADHD but theres a two year minimum waiting list.
We decided to look around at private non selective options. Nearest school- full with waiting list. Next nearest full and also have entrance exams. Next nearest (20 miles) reputation of excellent pastoral care, excellent SEN and friends kids excelled there. Had interview and they liaised with our DC existing school then offered two trial days. All going well or so it seemed! DC loved the school and put his best foot forward.
We then get an email saying, basically DC was not going to be offered a place as he was ‘too confident and outgoing’ ( he us not but will try to behave in the way he thinks is expected in this instance keen and wanting to learn. They also referenced not being a good fit with the other children in the class (class of only nine!!).
We were totally open and honest about DC challenges on approaching the school and they had reports, spoke with current pastoral lead etc.
DC is devastated, feels an utter reject/ failure.
I am at a total loss as to where to go/ what to do next.