Eton College Weekend Activities

Why do you think there were no news reports? My point was simply that the press didn’t connect the dots as to the fact that this one school had suffered 3 suicides in 6 years. I actually just googled and discovered another suicide a few years earlier which makes 4. I really support the current push to force universities to publicly report suicide numbers and think this should extend to all schools.

Now without a school name and no news reports (unlikely) it could be simply an indeed very sad yet possibly fictional story to fit a narrative, couldn’t it?

I’m not naming it in a public forum but it is accurate. 2 boys and 1 girl, 1 girl actually in a boarding house, 1 boy on his way back to school and another at home.

I remember once a few years back seeing on Mumsnet a mother declaring “there is no bullying at xxxxx, it is simply not tolerated” when I knew for a fact that five, yes five girls in year 9 had recently left just one girls house due to the toxic bullying that was going on. Those with happy children either often don’t see it or choose to deny it.

My son’s year was persecuted by the year above in his house. Physical punishments were constantly handed out and they were forced to hand over money etc etc. One boy was actually shot at close range with an air rifle. Like any normal person I was utterly horrified by it but when I spoke to the other parents in our year, they didn’t want to know. Even the parents of children my son had been at prep school with and whom I knew well just wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. It was a hell of a revelation to me as to how far some people are willing to go to protect the image of an institution.

I am just so glad we kept our 2 youngest at home. I wouldn’t swap those precious years with them for anything. Fortunately my son seems to be unscathed by his experience but I can never forgive myself for putting him in that environment.

@Hippyhippybake Sorry to hear about that. If it is true then it is really very sad. Which famous boarding school was that exactly?

And by the way, I went to boarding school and so did my eldest. The two youngest went to day schools.

You are right that bullying is everywhere but the impact of it can be so much worse in a boarding environment where the bullies have free rein at night time and weekends when supervision is absent. My son’s boarding school had 3 suicides in 6 years (it’s a famous one). I’m amazed this was never picked up by the press.

I doubt it @Ffffruit this has been fuelled by propaganda starting with books like the boarding school syndrome making their way into university reading lists and the public consciousness eventually distorting reality.
My friends and I used to laugh at it in the early days, but it is becoming more and more worrying how a bunch of people who have never seen the inside of a boarding school before, or anyone who went there for that matter, can opine on it with such conviction yet without any experience

@Nowand4ever I do think people have strong views but rarely are they up to date. Father in law is decades ago! They try and divide, but that’s society. Conquer? Not sure! I suspect local schools cannot take an influx of privately educated Dc if they were abolished. What I fundamentally object to is outdated anecdotes being used as fact.

Divide and conquer? 😂. Mate, it’s people giving their opinions on mumsnet.

@TizerorFizz as a former boarder to me it looks like an ideological campaign. Boarders are a close knit community with friendships that more often than not last into adulthood. This makes it a fairly attractive target for those who look to divide and conquer in my opinion.

@Hippyhippybake
What about bullying at all schools? There’s no more at boarding schools. Where is your evidence? What about behaviour on the way to school and on the way home? How many DC are excluded from day schools vs boarding schools? What about low level disruption in day schools? Or rudeness to staff? We know there are pluses and minuses to all education but you cannot single out alleged bullying as just in boarding schools and angels are in all the other schools. As if!

Stop nurturing the snowflake generation.
It’s time to bring back some resilience.
Boarding rulez!👊

What about the endemic bullying at boarding schools? Yes there is also bullying at day schools but at least those afflicted get respite and support from their parents.

@Nowand4ever I guess some people don’t like the idea of boarding schools! What do you think?

Mostly rubbish is posted about DC being abandoned for months on end. Then the idea that they leave school as babied toffs. Then the argument that you only love DC if you demonstrate it every day by chatting to them, cooking them tea and doing their washing and their homework. You must also travel miles to take Dc to every out of school activity snd tutoring or Dc misses out. Plus, of course, non boarding Dc are universally loving, let their feelings be known at all times (well into adulthood) whilst boarding Dc are buttoned up stiffs. Non boarding DC are always well adjusted, and can cook dinner for all at 12 whilst the Molly-coddled unloved boarder is only able to order a delivered pizza. Therefore incapable at university. Plus a day parent is fully invested in choosing every university course their DC should look at and then take them to 10 open days. Boarding parents are therefore negligent if they don’t do this. Plus data showing boarding pupils are all damaged in adult life. So, basically, it’s just putting down boarding parents and boarder because they come out incapable of loving anyone. Some of the things said though are unbelievable! Plus untrue. But don’t let that stop the rhetoric! I just don’t see why folk cannot make choices that suit their families.

That’s true @TizerorFizz have you thought about where that comes from or why that may be?

Posters won’t leave boarding threads, of any type alone. They will accuse posters of child abuse. It makes no difference where you post. Boarding parents are not supported! When my DDs boarded they got down time and lots of activities too. DD1 did do many (12) her HM suggested she reduced the number at y11. She did. To 10 - after much angst! A busy interested child likes variety. I do agree being busy is better than never getting away from gaming in their rooms all night as DN does.

@FullofPossibilities you may want to repost on the Boarding Schools board if you don't want the rights and wrongs of boarding as a concept to derail your thread asking about weekend activities.

Well, I won't discuss any further @Nowand4ever as I don't want you roasted or ridiculed!

I would just point out for the record if people stumble across this thread in future that your understanding of the set up is not quite right eg. only half the houses have central dining, the other half are eat-in, family style - with other beaks, tutors, chaplains, even the housemaster and dame's families eating together with the boys. And there are pros and cons to both a catering house and a Bekynton house.

You missed the point completely, maybe intentionally. Bye 🙋

OP I gather you don’t have a teen yet?

Even getting them out of bed on a Sunday tends to be a struggle. This lot have Saturday school, afternoon sports, Sunday morning chapel and a lunch put on. Maybe some go back to bed?! Teens also need some down time. Boarding friendships are really important! It is what makes the experience… (hehe)

Nowand4ever, how completely bizarre that you would see children at day school as being locked up with their parents. My younger children who went to day school had infinitely more freedom than their sibling at a leading boarding school.

I have three good friends whose sons all suffered vile bullying at Eton in recent years, one left and the other two stayed. Like a lot of boarding schools, the parents do their best to cover it up. I sent my eldest to boarding school aged 13, I bitterly regret it.

Yes, and you @CapaciousHag ?

Can you read, @Ffffruit ?

in contrast to fellow students flailing about in despair because they’re not used to being expected to get on with things by themselves.

if that’s what you want from a school you should have saved your cash and gone state 😂