Help please, 15 years old daughter not in school

Just thought I'd link to this thread about the use of an anxiety ladder:

My DS's diagnosis was generalised anxiety disorder with depressive episodes, and autistic burnout. He needed SSRIs to pull him out of the depression and to start to manage the anxiety. We had to find a child and adolescent psychiatrist privately, but the GP did shared care for the prescription.
Like @PrinceHaz says, it has all had to be at his pace.

My 17 yr old autistic daughter limped through GCSEs with 75% attendance. She did well in them as they seemed meaningful to her at the time.
She saw college as a fresh start but it didn’t work. She has been out of education since Christmas.
When she dropped out, I felt as if she might just sit in bed for the rest of her life. I decided to back if with any expectations and leave her to it (which we have the luxury of as she is old enough not to have to go to school).
Last month, she told me she’d made a CV and she started to get interviews. She’s now done 4 shifts at Nando’s. She also has just got an EHCP and a place at a more local college to start again in September.
I think autistic young people have to do things at their own pace, give themselves time to recover from burnout and likely not follow the trajectory we had expected them to.
when she talks about waiting to get better, it makes sense. Of course she can’t recover from autism but she can recover from burnout.
To add, my daughter has been on antidepressants for several years. They really take the edge off the worst of the depression and help her engage with the world.

I posted on this thread about therapy for autistic kids (and adults) - CBT is not best practice for anxiety: How do I help my daughter? | Mumsnet

If you can get DD to the GP, a letter from a health professional often helps. Our GP wrote a really strongly worded letter saying that DS should not go back to school. @Lougle 's advice is spot on.

@Zapi our SENCO point blank refused to help with an EHCNA. Categorically refused on the basis that she didn't believe DD2 met the criteria for an EHCP. When I applied myself, DD2 was granted the needs assessment before the deadline to assess, was assessed, was given the (very expensive) school place, then granted an extra year there. SENCOs her misled about the EHCP process, a lot.

My dd highly rated dbt therapy, she has in person now but found a workbook I bought online (dbt workbook for neurodivergent people or something similar) helpful. She missed a lot of school but worked from a laptop instead

Senco said it was too early to start EHCP? FFS don't be fobbed off by her bullshit. Wise up to her bollocks. You need to be more savvy and fight clever.

A therapy that relies less on verbal communication &/or taps into her interests might work better e.g. animal assisted therapy.

I agree with Lougle. Request an EHCNA yourself. Don’t listen to the school, it is not too early to request an EHCNA. Unfortunately lots of schools do put parents off applying but parents go on to successfully apply themselves.

The EHCNA is the needs assessment you first request. The LA decide whether to assess or not and if they do they then decide whether to issue an EHCP or not. You don’t actually apply for an EHCP itself.

If the LA aren’t providing alternative education they should be. Email the Director of Children’s Services informing them of the situation and requesting provision under s.19 of the Education Act 1996. If the LA refuse, delay or ignore you email again reminding them of their statutory duties and threatening judicial review if they don’t provide provision. Then if that fails contact SOSSEN for help with a pre-action letter.

@Zapi it is not too early. The SENCO will have been told that they have to be doing the assess, plan, do, review cycle to evidence intervention. They are right in most cases. However, your DD has an established diagnosis, she's in a critical year of education, and she's now completely non-attending.

The only considerations for the LA of you request an EHC Needs Assessment are:

1. May your DD have SEN? (Yes, she has ASD)
2. May she need special educational provision through an EHC Plan to meet her needs? (Yes, she's deteriorated so far that she can't even attend school).

You can use IPSEA's model letter to make the request.

When I did DD2's request, I used the information I gathered from a Subject Access Request to support my claim, but at a minimum I would include:

Your DD's diagnostic report
Any school reports
Any communication with the school regarding your DD's absences or support given.

In our case, DD2 was given the independent school placement at the end of year 10 (we visited the school for the first time on the last day of three summer term) and then, later, the LA agreed to decelerate her, so that she got to start year 10 again.

If you haven't found it already, Missing the Mark on FB is worth a follow.

If DD can’t attend school full time the LA should be providing alternative arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full time education. Are they?

Is DD Y10 or Y11?

If the ed psych assessment is part of an EHCNA you should request an EHCNA too. The benefit of an EHCP is it can include therapies that DC wouldn’t otherwise get, for a longer period of time, more frequently and without the need to sit on the normal waiting lists.

I have no advice but wanted to tell you that you aren't alone and I really, really feel for you. I could have written your post almost word for word about my 14 year old son (year 10). The autism, the anxiety, won't get out of bed as in low mood, CAMHs, reduced timetable since February, total non engagement...we are going through this too. I know that doesn't help you but I often feel I am screaming into a void and knowing that I'm not alone sometimes helps.

Good luck OP. My academic autistic child was also out of school and is now thriving in a specialist placement. All the primary school teachers who told me he'd never get an EHCP because he was too bright/others need more would be surprised. Home ed/online school is probably the line of least resistance by this stage of Y10 but look into EOTAS and remember your daughter needn't be wedded to the usual school year structure. Taking an extra year or two to finish school can work really well.

Hi. I know where you are coming from. DD was mid y10 when Covid hit, already struggling with mild anxiety. Fell off a cliff and never returned to school, missed all her GCSEs.

DD is not diagnosed with autism but has various SEN.
GCSE years they ramp up the pressure and kids previously just coping can buckle.

We when she didn't return in Sept we went private and she is on meds with counselling and is now in her second year at college doing a L1 course (pre GCSE level). If she hadn't been ill she would have aimed for a L2 course to start with.

Autistic burnout is a thing and I've read recently can take a year plus to recover from. She may need a bigger break from the world than you realise.

There's a Childrens Mental Health board on MN which might help, also the SN Chat board. The SEN board can also help you with EHCPs which she will need at some point.

How many GCSE's is she doing? Reduce the number, to ease the stress?

Email Senco so there is a paper trail. Ask for urgent meeting. Basically say this clearly isn't working, so what are you going to do about it.

Pay for Private counselling?

This exact thing happened to DD2. Also autistic, diagnosed early year 7 due to waiting lists.

She started with emotionally based school avoidance after the Christmas holidays of year 10, was put in R&R (small base), then didn't cope so was given a reduced timetable, then didn't cope, and eventually by mid February they told me to stop trying to get her to school because she was so obviously distressed.

I applied for an EHC Needs Assessment, then as that process was underway, she was offered a place at the local PRU in their 'vulnerable students' centre. It was part time with just 2 or 3 pupils per session.

Eventually she got her needs assessment and I requested a sensory OT assessment and a Speech and Language assessment as part of that. A bit of a battle, but we got them.

After all that, she was given a place in an independent specialist school. She has 3 children in her class, with a TA who accompanies them to all their lessons and is 'their person'.

The school is brilliant. DD2 went on her practice D of E walk this week. She was in a terrible state and we had to put a lot of things in place for her to attempt it. In the end, predictably, she didn't use most of the measures but for her, knowing they were available was what enabled her to push through.

The difference in her is remarkable. She actually talks at this school. She has weekly SALT sessions to work on her mental state and communication skills (although her language is ok, she finds it very hard to express herself and gets too anxious). She also has weekly OT sessions to work on her sensory needs. Her school has a farm, so she spends one morning per week at the farm, which she loves.

As well as studying her GCSEs in English, Maths, Spanish and Science, she's doing Functional Skills in both Maths and English, which takes the pressure off her GCSEs, and she's doing a vocational qualification in catering, a BTEC in IT, and a BTEC in construction.

DD2 is still struggling with anxiety. We're still on the CAMHS psychiatry waiting list. It isn't easy and she's not managed to be full time in school yet. There's a lot of damage to be undone from her last school. However, she's doing really well and she is improving.

Sounds like a autism burnout, she most likely feels trapped by high expectations. I would stop nudging her gently, take a clean break with a clear deadline (her input) without any pressure during that time, but also a clear plan afterwards.

Considering the long break, it will probably be home education until GCSEs after which you can reconsider.

Curious what the school psychologist will tell you. They are paid by the school you know!