First parents’ evening - and it’s virtual

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 2023-05-03T20:31:21+00:00

First parents’ evening for year 7 DD. We get 2 minutes per teacher. DD going though ADHD assessment currently and transition hasn’t been smooth. Have not had any meetings with school, just a couple of phone calls with tutor and SENCO. Haven’t met any of her subject teachers. So I’m wondering what questions we should prioritise in these 2 minutes.

NoTouch · 04/05/2023 19:05

FrownedUpon · 04/05/2023 12:33

Just listen to what they have to say. That’s the point of parents evening, to hear about their progress/needs. You can’t just go in with a barrage of questions.

In our school we have the report before the parents evening. So the teacher has already given their feedback about progress, the whole point of the meeting is for parents to discuss it and ask questions! Not just to listen to the teacher regurgitate what is on the report again, that is a waste of time.

If I didn't have any further questions on a subject, or something else I wouldn't book a slot with that teacher and leave it for someone who did have questions.

NurseCranesRolodex · 04/05/2023 18:59

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 17:36

@NurseCranesRolodex Don't you find this really a waste of time though? 2 mins to basically be read what you get on a report. I'm not sure I'd bother even fussing to get an appointment. Im not surprised OP is pissed off. I feel like it's a bit of an insult to the teachers too as parents evening has always been when you discuss issues/strengths and if they have an issue with a student that's maybe not large enough for a phone call, but needs to be addressed, you can't possibly do that in 2 mins.
As for contacting the teacher, a teacher can't have all these parents contacting them for a separate appointment to discuss things in more depth. That's an insane workload and the whole point behind staying after school for parents evening, is that you can build a home to school contact and the kid sees that. What's the point of writing a report, to then have a whole evening taken from you to read it to a parent for 2 mins. Talk about doubling up on work.

Agree! 2 minutes is box ticking and says alot about the value the school put on links with home & the pupils work.
IME the shortest parents night appt was 5 mins at Secondary, 10 at Primary. Not acceptable to be contacting the teacher directly, leadership team there for a reason.

OrangeBlossomTime · 04/05/2023 18:50

It's ridiculous.
Our school hasn't gone back to face
Waste of bloody time!

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 18:34

@TizerorFizz I mean I wouldn't move just because of a crap parents evening but yea you're not wrong that she should look into moving if the overall picture is rubbish. However, you suggested moving countries which is a slight overreaction I would think.

TizerorFizz · 04/05/2023 18:29

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide
I know someone said I was wrong to suggest moving but honestly this is crap. You obviously know this so I would be alternative making plans if I could.

Unsuredad123 · 04/05/2023 17:52

First session done. Teacher turned up with all of 10 seconds left on the clock. Let's hope the rest of them are better than this.

MargaretThursday · 04/05/2023 17:43

WM schools are known for their pastoral care. I bumped into DD’s year 3 teacher yesterday who asked how she was getting on. Even the school receptionist, who I bumped into last week still asks after her. And her nursery class teacher last month

I'd say that was normal teacher meeting old pupils/parents, so I wouldn't worry about losing that level of care if you moved.

I saw dd1's year 1 teacher yesterday and she asked after her. I see dd2's nursery lead quite frequently and she always wants to know what she's doing etc. DD1 is in her 20s and dd2 is 19yo.
Dm's a teacher and she is always bumping into old pupils/parents from up to 40 years ago and she always asks after them and their siblings.

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 17:41

Yes. There is a button to start each meeting and the 1m 50s starts counting down immediately. It turns red at 60s and boots you out at zero. The teachers appeared to be frustrated by it and most apologised for it being so short.

Then a 10 sec countdown till the next “start meeting” button appeared.

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Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 17:38

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 17:29

1m 50secs max per session. One teacher didn’t show at all, one arrived with 30 secs remaining. The others I got about 1m 45secs with. There was time for a question or 2 with a couple of seconds and I let one of them go 10 seconds early.

Parents WhatsApp is alight with
complaints about the timing and no-shows.

Show quote history

Flippin heck did they have a timer in the corner of the screen or something? My DDs school let go of virtual parents evening thankfully but when they did it you could choose a 5, 10 or 20min appointment depending on need. They didn't have many 20min slots obv but it seemed to work well. This is a state school.

MargaretThursday · 04/05/2023 17:37

Generally virtual parents' evenings are so much nicer-but 2 minutes? We get 8 minutes.

However I find parents' evenings at secondary tend to involve mostly teacher talking to pupil. For ds it goes something like this:
Teacher: How do you think you're doing?
Ds: fine
Teacher: How did you find this bit?
Ds: fine
Teacher: I think you might have found this bit a little harder
Ds: shrug
Teacher: Think you need to work on this.
Ds: yeah
Teacher: Have you seen this we're working on next?
Ds: yeah
Teacher: Next term I'd like to see a little more work and enthusiasm in lessons.
Ds: fine

I think you get the picture 🤣

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 17:36

@NurseCranesRolodex Don't you find this really a waste of time though? 2 mins to basically be read what you get on a report. I'm not sure I'd bother even fussing to get an appointment. Im not surprised OP is pissed off. I feel like it's a bit of an insult to the teachers too as parents evening has always been when you discuss issues/strengths and if they have an issue with a student that's maybe not large enough for a phone call, but needs to be addressed, you can't possibly do that in 2 mins.
As for contacting the teacher, a teacher can't have all these parents contacting them for a separate appointment to discuss things in more depth. That's an insane workload and the whole point behind staying after school for parents evening, is that you can build a home to school contact and the kid sees that. What's the point of writing a report, to then have a whole evening taken from you to read it to a parent for 2 mins. Talk about doubling up on work.

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 17:29

seratoninmoonbeams · 04/05/2023 17:16

Wow. Two minutes. I thought our allotted five were bad enough. Agree with PPs though. You won't really get to talk for those 120 seconds.

1m 50secs max per session. One teacher didn’t show at all, one arrived with 30 secs remaining. The others I got about 1m 45secs with. There was time for a question or 2 with a couple of seconds and I let one of them go 10 seconds early.

Parents WhatsApp is alight with
complaints about the timing and no-shows.

OP posts:

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 17:27

NurseCranesRolodex · 04/05/2023 17:19

You won't have time to discuss any of this. I'd let the teachers speak so they can share how & what your DC is doing. If time at end ask something. Make separate appointment to discuss your assessment etc. Parents night is the teachers chance to share how your DC is getting on.

Been and gone. See update above.

OP posts:

NurseCranesRolodex · 04/05/2023 17:19

You won't have time to discuss any of this. I'd let the teachers speak so they can share how & what your DC is doing. If time at end ask something. Make separate appointment to discuss your assessment etc. Parents night is the teachers chance to share how your DC is getting on.

seratoninmoonbeams · 04/05/2023 17:16

Wow. Two minutes. I thought our allotted five were bad enough. Agree with PPs though. You won't really get to talk for those 120 seconds.

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 16:19

Sounds like it went well OP. Hope you're feeling a bit more hopeful.

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 16:09

You really need to communicate with the school if you want more info on setting and extension challenges etc though! I teach in the school my son attends and we still followed the formal channels of communication last year as soon as we realised that his report was not as expected.

I’m not sure how I am supposed to know that without it ever being communicated. They announced parents evening last week. When booking over the weekend I saw that it was 2 mins per teacher. That isn’t what I was expecting because that isn’t how it ever worked at primary school.

I’ve communicated with them directly regarding bullying and the ADHD issues. I really am not sure why asking about setting and extension tasks shouldn’t be expected as part of parents evening. 🤷🏻‍♀️

In fact, one teacher raised setting in year 8 without prompting, and 4 teachers said she always finishes her work early and happily told me about extension work when I asked.

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Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 15:17

First teacher didn’t turn up.

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Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 14:24

@lilsupersparks I just want to say, you sound like an incredible teacher.

lilsupersparks · 04/05/2023 14:12

I am confused by your post really. You know that 2 minutes is not going to be enough yet you haven’t spoken in depth to the school. You feel like the Parents’ Evening is too late in the year, but you don’t seem to have been proactive about communicating when you needed to.

Have you actually tried to contact the teachers? I have multiple conversations with some parents, and some don’t even attend Parents’ Evening (I call or email home to those parents) but don’t always get a response.

A full time Secondary School teacher will teach hundreds of students each year. I only work 2 days a week and teach a core subject so see my classes more frequently than others and I teach 5 separate classes. Last year I actually taught 4 year 7 classes, which is half the year group! Obviously there is not going to be quite the same interaction with parents as a primary school teacher.

Regardless of that, I welcome communication from parents. I have notes on each SEN student I teach, detailing such things as where they should sit in the class, the colour paper they need, their preferred methods of interaction, if they may need movement or rest breaks etc.

You really need to communicate with the school if you want more info on setting and extension challenges etc though! I teach in the school my son attends and we still followed the formal channels of communication last year as soon as we realised that his report was not as expected.

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 12:55

Thank you. That’s really helpful advice.

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Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 12:43

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide In that case I recommend the text books even more. I think she will really enjoy it, I loved doing it with DD, and there's a natural end to each task so you can set limits. Eg one per day. If she's bright, all 3 would probably take her 30-45mins tbh. She wouldn't need your help with them. It sounds like she needs to concentrate on English, as the analysis is best started earlier. Science and Maths kids tend to struggle with that the most once GCSEs start.

Original poster

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/05/2023 12:39

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 12:29

I see. That's really good re SENCO. I think you need to find out from the school exactly how their setting works. Many schools don't use sets in any subjects except from Maths. Sometimes that doesn't happen till GCSE years too, much to the dismay of maths teachers.
Can you afford a tutor? What about doing some work at home? I know most state schools don't use text books which we found infuriating when trying to help DD as it was impossible to lre learn knowledge or go over what was confusing her. We ended up using textbooks and just reaching her ourself throughout the lockdowns as the online provision was useless. She has dyslexia and ADHD and we liked these:
Science also workbook available to go with it
English

Maths this series is for KS3. Starts with book 1 ends with book 7. I did it with my DD who has dyscalculia. You could probably start with book 2/3 if your DD is good at maths. It's brilliant in that it explains each topic and then you have questions for that. It also builds on each other.

Overall I found textbooks far better than revision guides at that age. Mainly because CGP is far too busy for my DD, and also because she didn't need revision, she needed to be taught and they gave us a systematic approach that was easy to follow. With revision books, you don't really know where to start if you haven't been taught it.
The textbooks all work on the model of reading two pages and answering the 5-7 questions at the bottom so really don't take long. If you do prefer revision guides, I strongly recommend Oaka books, although they are £££.

Don't stress about homework. It's often not very high quality and just busy work. If she doesn't get much homework now, use that free time to get her to do this sort of stuff, if you feel she's not being pushed.

Thanks. Both her dad and I have A levels (plural, each) in Maths so it’s not the concepts that are an issue.

Will do whatever is needed, up to and including home schooling or private school, if that is what is best for her.

She would spend all of her free time found maths, science and art learning if we let her, not all through academic routes. We try to bring some balance with downtime and physical activities as well.

the risk is that she turns away from school
maths and science as being behind where she is at. More than anything I don’t want her disengaging.

OP posts:

FrownedUpon · 04/05/2023 12:33

Just listen to what they have to say. That’s the point of parents evening, to hear about their progress/needs. You can’t just go in with a barrage of questions.

Dodgeitornot · 04/05/2023 12:32

TizerorFizz · 04/05/2023 11:15

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide
Frankly, I would move out of Wales. Sounds dreadful. Of course they should set. They have info on attainment from y6. They should be doing their own assessments. They are basically doing the bare minimum. Ask what progress your DD is making. How they measure it and what they do if a child is not making progress from their starting point. In the case of your DD a high one. She’s being failed.

I doubt the whole country of Wales doesn't set. Plenty of schools in England don't too. Move countries is pretty extreme advice.