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Original poster

I KNOW I am being unreasonable but it still stinks

56 replies

TheOrigRights · 21/04/2023 14:44

My son (like most) will be on strike day 5 come the end of April.
I fully support the teachers.
He has had 4 days off sick since September.

My request to take him out of school one day next week to attend a wedding has been declined. I understand that attendance and strike action are completely unrelated, but it does leave me with a slight bitter taste in my mouth to have the importance of attendance explained to me and the impact on his education.

I think they could have just refused the application according to rule bla bla without giving me a lecture.

Just needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:48

TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:45

I don't want to lie. The school were very supportive when my son struggled both during and after lockdown.
I definitely don't want to lie in this instance (strike, "sick", w/e, w/e, BH, strike).
It looks suspicious.

Show quote history

It's easier for the school too if you lie since too many unauthorised absences makes them look bad to Ofsted etc.

And it really doesn't matter if things look suspicious, no one is going to accuse you of lying.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:45

Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:20

Next time call in sickness and then it is authorised absence.
Easier for everyone tbh.

I don't want to lie. The school were very supportive when my son struggled both during and after lockdown.
I definitely don't want to lie in this instance (strike, "sick", w/e, w/e, BH, strike).
It looks suspicious.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:44

Testina · 22/04/2023 21:15

Your complaint makes no sense to me because the missed strike days just make it all the more important that he doesn’t miss more school.

I don’t understand why people on MN get so het up taking standard letters personally.

I didn't take it personally. I know that someone didn't sit down and write a specific response just to me. I am just venting.

I do value my son's educated. He is taking one unauthorised day off. There will have been 6 or so strike days come the end of this academic year.

OP posts:
Lunaloonytunes · 22/04/2023 21:29

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

You’re not paid for a strike day so you are fined.

Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:20

Next time call in sickness and then it is authorised absence.
Easier for everyone tbh.

Testina · 22/04/2023 21:15

Your complaint makes no sense to me because the missed strike days just make it all the more important that he doesn’t miss more school.

I don’t understand why people on MN get so het up taking standard letters personally.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 20:24

To be clear, I am was just having a moan.
I do not want to lie.
I understand policies etc.

I did not consider @Hollyhead's approach, but will do that if I need to.

OP posts:
Ellmau · 22/04/2023 18:31

It's shame the wedding doesn't coincide with a strike day.

Could you say you thought it was?

Fireyflies · 22/04/2023 17:27

I can see why it seems unfair - they're telling you that a single day will damage his education, which is just bollocks really. Just take him anyway - you're unlikely to be fined.

SamPoodle123 · 22/04/2023 17:23

I think if your dc is doing well academically, then fine to pull them out for an important occasion. It is only a problem if they are struggling at school and missing too many days.

Mumof1andacat · 22/04/2023 17:08

I would have just sent an email letting them know he wouldn't be in. I wouldn't ask for permission. My son was 'refused' permission to go on a big international holiday last year and they said the time would be unauthorised and I would be fined. I said OK and went on holiday as planned.

DRS1970 · 22/04/2023 16:40

I wouldn't have asked...

noblegiraffe · 22/04/2023 16:16

People don't like being told off, so perfectly reasonable to feel that way.

Schools are under massive pressure to improve attendance, so pointing out attendance is importance is basically the script that any request for absence that is rejected will get. It wasn't personal.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 16:04

Fairislefandango · 22/04/2023 14:01

So because teachers are striking, do you want schools to just have a blanket amnesty on parents taking kids out of school for normally unauthorised reasons? Or just your child? Or just weddings? I understand it's annoying not to have permission to take him, but surely you don't actually think that schools should change their absence policy just because there have been teacher strikes?

Did you read my post, or even the title? I have said I know the two issues are separate.
I only said it stung a bit to have the importance of me supporting my son's attendance pointed out to me.

OP posts:
Hollyhead · 22/04/2023 14:41

Don't bother asking, just be assertive, it won't be authorised, so on the very occasional time I take mine out I just write to the school saying that DS won't be attending on that date due to xxx reason and that I realise this will be unauthorised, and I apologise for any inconvenience caused. I generally get a lovely message back saying to have a nice time.

Restforabit · 22/04/2023 14:38

It’s the lecture that is infuriating.

Can’t weddings be authorised. Code C, other authorised circumstances?

BB2023 · 22/04/2023 14:35

I hear you! Our parents evening was in the middle on the last strikes and our school sent an email out to all the parents saying that the teachers would be discussing absence and that kids shouldn't miss school blah blah. I absolutely support the strikes but it just felt like bad timing by the school tbh. As it happens our teacher didn't say anything and whilst I wouldn't have been rude to him if he did I felt like the email could have potentially led to some difficult conversations for the teachers.

ShowUs · 22/04/2023 14:34

The idea is that the entire year group will still be at the same level when they’re off on strike.

Unauthorised absences for holidays etc means that they get left behind whilst the rest of their class/year is ahead and have probably moved on to a next topic.

I do understand what you mean though and I would never even ask for something like this and I’d just say they are poorly or have an appointment (I’m a teacher) as they’re not allowed to authorise it else they could get into trouble.

SequinsandStilettos · 22/04/2023 14:24

I would also take it as an unauthorised. Thursday to Tuesday off means they can easily catch up Friday's work from the VLE.

Fairislefandango · 22/04/2023 14:01

So because teachers are striking, do you want schools to just have a blanket amnesty on parents taking kids out of school for normally unauthorised reasons? Or just your child? Or just weddings? I understand it's annoying not to have permission to take him, but surely you don't actually think that schools should change their absence policy just because there have been teacher strikes?

00100001 · 22/04/2023 13:58

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

And it's not the teachers making the rules...

00100001 · 22/04/2023 13:57

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

Ha ha you can't fine people for striking!!

Janek · 22/04/2023 13:55

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

Teachers who strike lose a day's pay. A fine for not working, if you will.

Theunamedcat · 22/04/2023 13:50

I woukd take my child out for one day regardless in fact I am in July its midweek we are going to my daughter for the day she is graduating I will ask but if they say no I will simply not take them to school and tell them why on the app they can drive and collect them if they want its three hours away

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

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