What's wrong with hothousing?

I suppose we would not have had Lang Lang or Roger Federer without a degree of hothousing. Inherently talented kids plus a parent who goes above and beyond “nurturing” the talent from a very early age.

Still I would never sacrifice my own child for the greater good. The risk reward element is not there for me. Far too much risk to their long term mental health in exchange for a minute chance to be world famous/go down in history. No thanks.

@londontimes

Why do you find it scary?

because I am a child of neurologist and heard a lot about such cases

and wish him all the very best in achieving what "he" wants in life.

absolutely. That goes without saying

Would it really matter if the child became the next Einstein or not? Expecting kids to be at the same level (or only a few years ahead) academically is like expecting all kids in a class to have similar personalities. Why do you find it scary? I find it fascinating, and wish him all the very best in achieving what "he" wants in life.

The friend in question is gifted herself in a different area so she's doing what her parents did which was to take the child to a bookstore or expose them to documentaries (now YouTube and other online resources) etc and let the child decide what they want.

I think there's a big difference between "making" the child do something and "exposing" them to things and letting them "choose", which is what I'm doing. I feel this friend is in a similar position only the interests of the child are much deeper than mine, and that's totally ok. I'm proud of my kids for who they are just as she is proud of hers.

A child that gifted can get really frustrated, though, if you don't let them tackle the hard questions. It's like saying to a child that's really good at football, 'don't try any fancy moves with that ball, you don't want to look too different and have no friends'. It's possible to be very gifted and have friends and get on with people.

Ha, yes, veteran of many choirs (and 'we'll just drop it a semitone') here.

FlawlessSquid
I don't think any hothousing is good. I think it's all about parent ego and them viewing the child as an extension of themselves.
I feel the same about pushy sports parent, pushy music parents and other parents who view their children as accessories to prove what a brilliant parent they are. The children end up learning quite quickly that their parents' approval comes from them performing.

A child can be exposed to a range of materials and experiences and challenged in a way that is appropriate to their talents and capabilities without hothousing. The problem is that this requires a bit of thought and effort from the parents beyond picking a specification to get their child through and there's no bragging rights or certificate to prove what an amazing parent they are.

It’s very amusing to see people who think “hothousing” 2-3 years advance is good and the same people think “hothousing” to A level is not good.

It is, in principle, not different to 2-3 years advance. Society sees it less because the super intelligent at that level is a lot rarer & the child also need to be in the right environment to be able to get the exposure to A level materials with the right approach.

I really doubt that a child doing A level further maths at 9 hasn't been pushed to some extent. That seems pretty remarkable. Sometimes parents don't like to be seen to be hothousing, such is the stigma against it. Really they should be proud of it as a lot of the work generally does originate from the parents
There's rightly a stigma against hothousing because hothousing is all about the parents' ego, the parents' feelings and the parents bizarre desire to see their children's achievements as an extension of themselves.
In the mind of a hothousing parent, if the child is brilliant academically/ athletically/ musically then that's proof to the hothousing parent that they're a brilliant parent.

A child doing A Level Further Maths at 9 wouldn't be there unless there was some push from parents. 9 year olds don't go looking for exams aimed at 18 year olds.

A child can be mathematically stretched without sitting A Level papers, which comes back to the question: why would a parent of a 9 year old want to enter their child for A Level papers?

A child of 9 years old doing A levels Maths had exposure and parents may not say it is hot housing but how do parents know what current A levels Maths look like….unless parents printing questions, allowing appropriate websites and buying books. They should be honest and claim how hard working and wonderful their kid and applaud the effort.

I'm with you. Perfect pitch is a nightmare when choir director says "just sing it up a tone"

It is a total mindf* if you have perfect pitch ...

@londontimes and I find the 9 years old doing A level maths...scary. This is not a normal brain and I understand 2 years ahead, 3 years but...A- levels? This is not a healthy situation and god only knows is happening with the brain of that child. The prodigy children rarely turn into grown up Einsteins...

I really doubt that a child doing A level further maths at 9 hasn't been pushed to some extent. That seems pretty remarkable. Sometimes parents don't like to be seen to be hothousing, such is the stigma against it. Really they should be proud of it as a lot of the work generally does originate from the parents.

Inclined to agree.

Please post back @ThunderDad when your child is 11.

I've always exposed my kids to a wide range of things and eventually let them choose what they liked and wanted to do. The problem with hothousing is that kids do whatever their parents make them and have no idea what they want or who they are.

A friend of mine who's 9 year old son is working on A level further maths claims she's never pushed and let him lead the way but made sure he had lots of play dates and meeting people to grow his social skills. I just find that incredible.

@Ketzele Hard work in any subject and at any age quite often makes people to develop dislike to that subject. I have "museum-phobia" because I studied art hist for 5 years, and I know a lady who studied English literature and for years she was sick at the thought of reading a book.
But the thing is that life is not all about doing only pleasant things, it is also about determination. They say that the Milenials and generation Z are weak and drama queens. This is because their parents wanted for them low stress and " like-it" only environment. . Well, in life it have to be also a bit tough to build character

Please share link

@fklps
There no such thing as super bright wothout hard work. Super bright also have to read the book to get the knowledge out of it and do excercises to pass the maths tests.
Everything comes with determination and work. The memory is something you can excercise.

My recommendation is a short story, in a collection called 'The Downhill Crocodile Whizz', but it appears to have been published in a different collection too: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2526061.The_Girl_with_the_Green_Ear

Of course! I'll check her out in that case. My wife covers the reading side of things and we are always on the lookout for new books for our son.

She was a wonderful children’s writer. I hope you’re also going to encourage your son to read widely. Imagination and insight into the human condition are both great for growing children.

If you are offended by the notion that there might be developmental differences between boys and girls then I can't help you. Some people see misogyny wherever it is convenient to see it. I'm not familiar with Margaret Mahy is but if she is a feminist writer I'll have to turn down your recommendation. My school forced me to read a Margaret Atwood novel once and am still recovering to this day.

Depends on what you mean by hothousing really. My 2 did 11+ prep, an hour a night throughout year 5. 3 hours a day in the summer between year 5 & 6. Some people considered that to be cruel and/ or excessive we considered it a reasonable investment to ensure a good secondary education. They didn't love it but DS who is 19 tells me he is glad we made him do it. It also teaches them how to study.

*of the misogynistic times, obviously.

<misses point of thread> Why would you want to set out to teach perfect pitch? It's not always an advantage - sometimes quite the opposite <ask me how I know>

As far as hothousing (both musical and horticultural) goes, I recommend reading 'The Girl with the Green Ear' by the wonderful and underrated Margaret Mahy.

ThunderDad, I still think your posts are satire. Or, depressingly, this might just be a sign og the misogynistic times: 'Yes girls do mature much faster than boys. This is a very big problem in mixed schools as it damages the self-esteem of boys.' The way girls are is a problem in mixed environments because boys. <sigh>