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Original poster

School behaviour policy and scope of authority

64 replies

Smeeth · 09/02/2023 14:54

My 15 yr son has just been excluded by his school. He had 5 friends at home on friday night supervised by myself with a few beers, later in evening he was filmed by one of the boys making some slightly slurred insensitive race related comments, all the boys were white. One of the boys shared the video without my sons permission to a snapchat group of 20, one of the non-white boys on group shared with his parents who raised a concern over the offensive language to the school. The school behaviour policy only extends off site to education trips and buses and the home is 14 miles from school and boys not wearing school uniform etc. The school have just sanctioned my son not the boy who posted the video without permission. The school conducted a limited investigation and did not establish context or even speak to myself (despite attempts by me to speak to school staff dealing with incident). They have also refused to share redacted copy of the video (all other copies destroyed) son and I have not seen it and redacted copies of the specific complaints
My son is contrite but I have wider concerns on the schools processes, scope of authority and decision making. It has got to the stage I would rather it was a police complaint as he would be dealt with fairly, proportionally and reasonably.

Sorry for long message but lots of issues to unpick, I have raised my concerns at process already with school, I am giving then another 24 hrs to respond before I submit GDPR request and raise complaint to governors.

Any advice precedent. Son and boys have learned lessons but there are some dangerous and worrying wider issues of principle here.

Any legal precedents/advice - I have government policies etc
Thank you.

OP posts:
WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 09/02/2023 23:08

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 09/02/2023 23:03

It has got to the stage I would rather it was a police complaint as he would be dealt with fairly, proportionally and reasonably.
😂😂😂

^^ I hope they do go to the Police!
Your son needs to learn consequences. You are just another entitled parent trying to help their child dodge reality.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 09/02/2023 23:03

It has got to the stage I would rather it was a police complaint as he would be dealt with fairly, proportionally and reasonably.
😂😂😂

Marblessolveeverything · 09/02/2023 22:58

Not sure which is worse providing alcohol to growing teens, which research shows increases cancer risks and early liver failure or the obvious way you are belittling the racist child you have raised.

Maybe take the time to up the parenting standards and teach your son right from wrong.

Louisa259 · 09/02/2023 22:48

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WhatTrophy · 09/02/2023 15:32

Is there nothing in the policy about bringing the school into disrepute? I'd say that's what this is.

TeenDivided · 09/02/2023 15:32

Unless this is permanent exclusion you may be better off telling your son that you think exclusion is a bit harsh, but it's only a few days. The stress of you fighting this for your son may be counter productive to him. (Is he y11 or y10?)

Rollercoaster1920 · 09/02/2023 15:30

I would lodge a subject access request for your son to get a copy of the video and see what he said.
You could lodge a complaint about the uploader of the video. But I doubt your son wants that.

MissyB1 · 09/02/2023 15:24

Why are you not mortified that your 15 year old was drunk and making racist remarks? Why are you not mortified that you supplied other people’s kids with alcohol?
Why are these kids so dim that they film each other doing stuff that they know is unacceptable?

Life lesson!!!

noblegiraffe · 09/02/2023 15:17

The government policy is that schools can sanction for online behaviour that happens off school premises that might harm the reputation of the school, which could well include drunken racism.

This should be in the school behaviour policy.

So it sounds like your quibble is that your DS should get away with it because the school doesn’t specifically list this in their behaviour policy? (Basically you’ve found a loophole?)

I think it would be preferable in this case for your DS to learn the consequence of his actions than for his parents to argue the toss.

Perfect28 · 09/02/2023 15:13

Ok well I'm not going to argue on the law then but I'm surprised given that it's illegal to purchase alcohol for a minor, which it sounds like is exactly what the OP did. Did the other parents know and give consent? Extremely poor judgement at the very least. The main issue though is your son's attitudes, and yours from the sound of it. Saying things like 'he has non white friends' just makes you sound more like a jerk.

EllaVator · 09/02/2023 15:08

You're going to get nothing other than every respondent telling you to suck it up, buttercup.
Your child was racist. And drunk (ew).

AdInfinitum12 · 09/02/2023 15:07

Perfect28 · 09/02/2023 15:01

Yabu. Your son was racist. You let a load of underage children drink alcohol (that's very much illegal) yabvvvvu. Sort your child out

All other issues aside, it is not illegal for children to drink alcohol if they're over the age of 5.
The laws around alcohol are based on the ability to purchase or the location you drink it (pub, restaurant, licensed premises, alcohol exclusion zones etc).
There are no laws that say a 15 year old cannot drink alcohol in a private house.

Perfect28 · 09/02/2023 15:01

Yabu. Your son was racist. You let a load of underage children drink alcohol (that's very much illegal) yabvvvvu. Sort your child out

Original poster
Smeeth · 09/02/2023 14:57

The language used by my son was apparently offensive - not grossly offensive, it was not motivated by hostility and he has no previous on race or bullying issues, in fact he has many strong friendships with non white children in his year he have spoken out for him.

OP posts:
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