How to deal with bragging mum?

She's insecure and unhappy with her life. Pity her but also avoid her. You have feet, move away.
How come you get to be with her so much op?
I hardly ever saw the mothers of the kids at senior school....

So funny…I knew someone like this once. She actually told me that the teacher came out to find her at home time (primary school) and said:

”Are you Mrs X? I have to tell you Billy is the most intelligent child I have ever met in all my years of teaching”.

Yeah, that happened😏

There was a mum like this when my DS was younger. Everything about her dc especially her dd was amazing. Her Dd was apparently a complete genius. I saw recently she had done an average type of degree at RG university at the bottom end of the table. She got a job doing something fairly pedestrian. Not quite the high flyer we’d had pushed down our throats.

Just say

bless your heart

oh how sweet

thats nice for him/her

do you think he/she will be a rocket scientist then

with a overly sweet smile

Oh my goodness, I think I love you a little bit - this will help so much with one particular friend!

How are you in a position to be spending so much time with her?

Why not play games with her.

I used to get into conversations with competitive parents and try to act sooo interested it used to shock me how they didnt realise how false i was being. Loads of WOWS, AMAZINGS, UNBELIEVABLES. I would look them deep in the eyes and hang on every word. Encouraging them to carry on

I would check my watch to see how long the conversation lasted without them once ever asking about my own child.

I never quite got to the point of listing it down to see who won but i quickly realised that 99% of parents will talk for ages about their own without a seconds thought about anyone elses children.

I purposely avoid. Mine is a lovely friend, and before kids was equally intense in her conversation with me about every aspect of her life and job. I've always found it stressful, but I do realise that in part it's my insecurities that mean I can't deal with her. I am older now and am happy with my own personal life choices, but still feel a bit anxious when thinking about my kids' futures.
We both fundamentally want the best for our children, but have very different approaches in to how to achieve that. Hers is a military style operation involving multiple personnel and outsourcing in order for maximum outcome.
Mine is very different, and in part down to the fact that I believe in parenting the child I have, rather than modelling the child to the type of parenting I want to do and preconceived results.

Avoid if possible.
Or just say "That's nice" and then change the subject to whatever.
"Good for him" - change the subject.
Don't engage - change the subject. If necessary, say, sorry can't stop for a chat got a dentist appointment and having a root canal without anaesthetic which is way more pleasant than listen to this drivel

Mrs Brown's "that's nice"

You should stop being a sofa psychiatrist. Being braggy & effusive is not narcissistic parenting

Parenting is a long game.
my children are now grown up and I can reflect on the bragging mums - whose kids did not seem to fulfil their genius potential.
if your own kids are happy and sociable- be happy because these are the life skills they need - much more than any bragging parent will ever know

Agree. It’s tiresome but you tune out and excuse yourself so you don’t have to hear it

Tell her to Google “narcissistic parenting.”.

The only people who extreme boast about their children’s intellect are always pretty thick themselves I have observed

Just ignore her.

People like this are infuriating, whether it's about their child, their grandchild or their dog. When I'm not actually with them, I try to have some compassion. As someone said above, it's socially inept to do this. Having poor social skills probably makes their life, if not difficult, at least less pleasant than it might otherwise be. And that's a shame for them.

You don’t need to hang out with her, why does it bother you so much? So what if she’s proud of her kid and brags.

I do this!

You can ask them a simple question and off they hon😁

I used to have a friend just like this-there’s 3 months between him and my son

we had been friends since school and she was (and still is) a really nice woman-she just had this huge blindspot with her son

her kid (he was an only child at this point,until she had his sisters) was just the bestest at everything

hers always came top in spelling tests

top at maths

was sportsman level in pe

never struggled in English

best in class at art-you name it-this kid was the best at it

his behaviour was awful-he was a bully but she ignored that and thought the sun shone out of his arse-the teachers where wrong about him

her siblings where exactly the same with their kids which I think is the root of it

my children tried but where nowhere near academic-they had strengths but where always middle of the road-which I supported

anyway,this kid did get top results in both school and college exams but mine didn’t-I simply didn’t apply the pressure to mine that she put on hers-I was ‘try your best-it’s enough’ but she was ‘get top marks or I’ll be angry and won’t love you anymore’

you could see the strain on his face,trying to please his mum

fast forward a few years and the boys are coming up to 23-mine works in a bloody good,well paid career,that he’s works his backside off to climb the ladder

hers works in a milkshake shop and is refusing to work any harder to go any further

(I admire this kid but it’s a shame he’s not using his qualifications)

doesnt stop her bragging about his sisters (who are under the same pressure) but is oddly quiet about her son

i used to just smile and nod

Every time, respond along the lines of " Does she get that from her father's side? Oh, no surprise there, your husband is SO intelligent /talented/goodlooking. She's a real Daddy's girl, isn't she? Clever, just like her father".

Or you can do some boasting of your own " Of course, one of DD's great qualities is that she's so kind and supportive to others. She has such great social skills and lovely manners . People always notice good manners, don't they? "

I think we all know a parent like this. I certainly do. One whose children are the cleverest, prettiest, just BESTEST at everything. She is a total pain in the arse. So when I see her coming, I just cross the road. Or if she corners me to lecture at me about how her child is on course for a Nobel Prize, I have a sudden urgent appointment to rush off to, or a car parked on a meter round the corner.

Just avoid, avoid, avoid.

Just ignore her or walk away when she starts waffling on about her kid. Or when she does start just say 'yeah and'

Just nod and smile. And tune out.

There was a parent like this in dd's year. Her ds was lovely (dd is still friends with him) but very average. Mum thought the sun shone out of his arse. It was a bit cringe, but harmless enough really.

I remember bumping into her in the supermarket with dd when the kids were in Year 7. She proudly told me how well he was settling in, and how he was in "top sets" for everything. DD found it hilarious because it simply wasn't true. Very embarrassing for the poor lad.

For whatever reason, this woman feels the need to boast. I would just let her do her thing and not bother about it. Maybe try to change the subject when you can see she is getting started. She is making a laughing stock of herself at the end of the day, and she deserves to be pitied for that.

The parents of children who are genuinely outstanding will usually tend to keep quiet about it.