My dd1 started secondary school in September, she has just turned 12. At primary school she was a very hard worker and although not super academic, was a consistently high achiever and achieved expected in her SATS and exceeding for English.
I was very concerned about her starting secondary as I have/had some prejudices around large mixed comps (I went to a small single sex school) and was worried she would slip below the radar as a somewhat 'steady eddy' and wouldn't be pushed.
Now I'm worried this is coming to pass. I should add that she has become incredibly lazy and would want to sit about on TikTok all day if she didn't do 10 hours a week of an extra curricular activity (she has a gift, that her school have no idea about as she refuses to join any school club, despite there being a club for her talent).
The school have now set the pupils for both English and maths. English, she was 2 marks away from top set but was happy enough (she likes English) but maths she is now bottom set.
I feel so guilty that I'm personally upset by this as it's come out of the blue. She had some poor assessments. How can she have fallen so quickly and spectacularly? Her primary always said that she lacked confidence in maths but could do it and I was always pleased that she was stronger than I ever was in maths (I have dyscalculia, diagnosed when I did my PGCE).
I'm now panicking and frustrated with her for what I perceive is laziness and also dumbing herself down? She keeps calling herself a dumbo, a thicko?! My heart is breaking for her although I'm trying really hard not to let it show to her. I'm considering a tutor even though we can barely afford one.
Please someone that has been through this advise or reassure me that all is not lost!