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Original poster

Moving from private to state school experiences…

57 replies

Jaipur · 13/12/2022 22:37

DS (14) is in year 10. He has a full bursary for a private school where he is pretty unhappy. The school is fairly strict which he doesn’t like, has long hours and also has a particularly snobbish undercurrent - which I know not all private schools do.

He has a group of friends, although they don’t bring out the best in each other and he has got himself into trouble for silly things (vaping, skipping a class and a few other things). The headteacher is at the end of his tether and has said he feels we should look elsewhere so he can leave with a clean slate.

He’s a bright boy and teachers and other kids like him, he’s just says he’s not really happy at the school and never has been. He wants to go to the local (high achieving) state school. He has friends there and feels he would be happier.

Private to state seems the opposite way the majority of people move there children. Any experiences of doing this? I’m concerned DS may go completely off the rails…. Equally if he’s happier and more relaxed he may really come into his own.

OP posts:
Sushi7 · 14/12/2022 08:16

I wouldn’t bother now he’s started his GCSEs. Moving schools won’t magically solve his behaviour. It may deteriorate. Definitely don’t move schools as you say he gets into trouble, but still gets good grades.

What kinds of things does he get in trouble for? Why is he unhappy? I wouldn’t take long hours and strict rules for an answer. All good performing schools have rules to abide by. Suck it up until it’s time to go to college to do A Levels.

Original poster
Jaipur · 14/12/2022 08:04

Yes, that’s exactly what the school are suggesting. I’m just concerned that he’ll get in even more trouble being at a more lenient school. Although maybe because they are strict and he doesn’t feel he fits in is the reasons why he’s getting into trouble? I don’t feel the things he’s done are vastly out of the realms of normal for a teenage boy tbh.

OP posts:
Thedoglovesmemore · 14/12/2022 07:23

I’d be worried too but he isn’t happy now and sounds like school are suggesting he will get excluded unless he starts behaving better.

Original poster
Jaipur · 14/12/2022 07:21

Thanks. No there isn’t a place so we will have to appeal. They do the same subjects and I think it’s likely he will get in on appeal. It’s just very stressful.

OP posts:
clary · 13/12/2022 23:07

If he is in year 10 now then can the local state school (yes, does it have a place) may not be able to accommodate his GCSE choices - and he may be at a disadvantage in terms of subject studied.

If he is going to move in year 10, the sooner the better for sure. But I would make a call to check if they start GCSE courses in year 9 and even if they start in yr 10, what MFL topics they have done, what English lit book they have studied, etc.

GolfForBrains · 13/12/2022 22:57

Is there a place at the state school?

Mammillaria · 13/12/2022 22:45

I think it may come down to whether his state school friends are a good or bad influence on him.

I know a few people whose DC have moved from private to state with mixed results. Having the DC completely on board with the move seems to be the best predictor of success in this very small sample group!

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