Son won't attend tuition for 11 plus

If all these children need all this tuition to pass the exam - how are they going to cope at a Grammar School ?

Lots of child abuse on this thread! Are Dc not allowed to be Dc? Move to a grammar county. Don’t try for super selectives. Let Dc have a normal childhood. If a child doesn’t want extra work at 8/9 years old I don’t bkdme them. More sensible than the parents!!

why are you imagining he has very little school homework? Maybe, like your DS he has the expectation of an hour a night already, so the extra hour makes it 2 hours a night (and there was a thread recently where many people thought that was too much on an every day basis for a GCSE student).
There are very few schools that won't be setting at least reading and spelling and some writing/maths work to do each week at this age. Plus potentially extended projects.

I take it you have nice compliant children then? How do you enforce that hours of extra (as he'll see it) unnecessary homework is done? Yes, you can remove all treats and luxuries, but the stubborn child will still dig in their child ... you can provide all the support to allow for study, but you can't actually make a child do it. Do you really want to spend hours every day in battle with your child? And d you want education to be seen as a thing that must be fought against?

The flip side of course is that you do have children that study just because they don't want to lose their TV watching (or whatever) and grow up in later life struggling to find self motivation (yes, I'm looking at myself here)

OP's son is 8 or 9 years old. This is madness. He doesn't need to be forced to do 3-4 hours of extra homework just for a test he will take in over a year. Way to put kids off education.

I come from a very academic family, but torturing an 8-year-old with endless homework is not the way to get them to do well at school.

If he would rather be watching TV than studying, that needs to be taken away as an option.
Then DS would have just read a book. Take all the books away too?

Can you honestly blame him? The lad works hard at school all day and then you want him to do extra work? Would you want to come home from your day at work only to do more work? Back off!

Same. Late test so I think this meant he actually needed to do better than those doing it on time as places had already been allocated (I think they then allow a few extra?) We got the call in May of year 6.

What on earth is the point of grammars if the majority only get in with tuition? I thought they were supposed to select the brightest regardless of background? I live in London and can’t imagine putting my DD through so much stress and anxiety.

Mine also passed with no tuition…

We used Atom for youngest dc. The online classes were good fun and the practice felt like games. Dc wouldn't have done homework either.

I have twins who were tutored for the 11 plus - if he is as bright and hard working as you say he should not need to do a class plus 3hrs of homework. My twins 1-1 tutor gave them 30mins of homework each week and said if they can not pass on this amount than they are not suited for the pace of grammar school.
I agree with others if you can afford it 1-1 is better - a 1-1 means the tutor focuses on your child's weaknesses - a group has to cover everything as has to take into account everyone's weaknesses.

And I should add it was only about an hour if that a week - I found as time went on he did more but that was his choice.

Does he have to do 3 hours homework a week? Particularly now in Year 4 when he's only 8? Would he be willing to do 30 mins to start with and you could build up?

My DS had a 1:1 tutor for the last year for his 11 plus assessment - some weeks he was enthusiastic about the homework set, other times not so much - his tutor understood this and was helpful in terms of making the homework fun etc.

In our area the 11+ covers all the topics on the ks2 maths curriculum. Unfortunately, due to covid and it only being the start of y6, they haven't covered it all yet. How can a kid do long division and bidmas without having been taught the topics? Being bright is not enough imho.

Plus, it's about competition really. If tutoring gets you 99/100 then the non tutored kid with a score of 98/100 might lose a place to them. If you want the school then tutoring gives them a better chance of getting in.

It is unfair though. Tutoring is a way of buying yourself a better education. However, why should I sacrifice my child's education because the government have created an unfair system? I want to do the best I can for them with the resources I've got, just like the parents who move next to an outstanding comp or the ones who pay for their kid to go to Eton.

I agree.

The people marking the tests do not know whether your child has had tuition.

A little bit of parental help to understand verbal reasoning? Sure. But paid tuition is really not necessary for bright children.

It's perfectly possible for a reasonably bright child to pass the 11+ without paid tuition. Just buy some of the books and practice at home.

If he doesn't want to do it (or isn't able to without someone forcing him), maybe it's not right for him.

You shouldn't need to send him to tuition. Either he is bright enough on his own or he shouldn't be at a grammar because he'll be unhappy.
Familiarisation is all he should need. A few exam practice sheets in the summer hols. That's all mine had.

Honestly, if he is only 8/9 it is worth leaving it for a while.

Get him to do some practice papers, see how he scores. He may not need tuition

My mistake he actually got 282 - I’ve just asked him 🙈. The highest score in the county that year. He is very driven tbh and may well be an exception to the rule. I couldn’t have afford tuition for him at the time.

If he wont pass without tuition, thats a problem in itself. Getting in is a very small part of grammar school life. Why tutor knowing they'll maybe just pass and then struggle all the way through school unless you maintain extra help. My son is super bright but a slow coach. He took it and didnt get to finish the exam. He was only 2 marks off even though he missed 2 pages. His teachers said he is more than capable but his time management and speed of work is not grammar standard. He is going to a normal school and will probably be top of the class. Its his life, you can only guide.