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Original poster

Anyone having second thoughts on applying for the super selective 11+ independent girls schools?

34 replies

Roopachoo · 16/10/2022 10:52

Are things changing at these schools? At all the open days we are always met by a newly enhanced wellbeing/pastoral team.

Whilst great to see, I wonder how effective they can be with dealing with issues that by their very nature, are extremely hard to detect. And when a school is driven to maintain ridiculously high grades - will mental health always be sacrificed?

We are in north London so particularly interested to hear how things are at NLCS and Habs Girls (amongst others). I asked a few sixth-formers (at open days over the last few weeks) how they felt: some were surprisingly candid, and one answered ‘we have become very good at hiding things’. :-(

DD has a music place at Dame Alice Owen’s (if we name it first), but she wants to sit the others. The very early offer is confusing me (I would love to stop ghastly 11+ right now), but also I don’t want an early offer to throw us off our original plan! But my worries about the pressure-cooker environment are making me wonder if the early Owen’s offer is a great get-out-jail card.

OP posts:
Roopachoo · 17/10/2022 08:05

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LexMitior · 16/10/2022 23:09

Don't let these schools fool you about caring for their students. You either cope or you will be asked to leave. That's it.

Yes there are slightly better arrangements but selective schools don't want any kind of liability imposed on them re mental health. They will put that on parents to handle.

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/10/2022 22:45

I think most of it comes from families. But these schools aren’t right for everyone, just pick somewhere that’s academically solid but not a screaming hot house if you think that’s better for your daughter.

BookwormButNoTime · 16/10/2022 22:34

At a recent open day for one of the very academic north London girls schools, the head was gushing over the pastoral support in their speech.

On our tour with a current pupil my husband asked what were the negatives or bad points of the school. Poor girl replied that the pastoral care was awful. She had asked for help and was basically told to man up and get on with it. She had decided to not stay on for sixth form. Not sure why a young girl would make that up.

Longbarn5 · 16/10/2022 21:35

I very much agree with Monday to Sunday. When it comes to pressure it is invariably not com8ng from the schhol itself! Parents are absolutely the worst for this!

mondaytosunday · 16/10/2022 11:31

What you think sixth form girls are only now 'hiding things'?
I can't comment on the schools you mention as I don't know them. My daughter is at sixth form at a selective sixth form in London and I'm sure there are girls there that struggle with the pressure, but from what she says it's usually from the family, not the school. Of course the school wants them to do well, but it's the family expectations that really weigh on the girls.

TotallyWhatever · 16/10/2022 11:13

Clever kids will rise to the top academically wherever they are, will enjoy learning and be a joy to teach but only if they’re happy. Also live within a 10-15 minute walk of SPGS/G&L/LU and am genuinely thinking of opting out and heading for rounded state education, with advantage of kids friends being local, and the fortunate position of being able to supplement extra curriculars as needed.

Berrylina · 16/10/2022 11:03

> my worries about the pressure-cooker environment

We are thinking of spgs but wondering if we should apply to GL and choose that instead. Reading some of the posts here some parent from spgs speak highly of it. I worry about mental health, etc. Wonder if we should go to an average school academically and have 'happier' children.

quizaddict · 16/10/2022 11:02

Hi, no idea about Habs as we are in West London but it may be interesting for you to know that even though we live on the doorstep of G&L and SPGS (10 minute journey) we were strongly encouraged by our school to apply for NLCS (55 minute journey) and that was purely down to our school's perception of its pastoral care (perhaps based on feedback from past students, but I'm guessing).