Mufti/own clothes days at secondary

Exactly.
I'm not well off so Dd didn't have designer clothes, but no one wore them anyway.
It was mainly leggings/jeans/shorts/t-shirts/hoodies with their own quirks added, and that was in a relatively wealthy area.
Mufti days cause far more problems than permanent non uniform.

Completely agree. DD is at a non-uniform school where she is not one of the better off pupils (and there is a massive range, some of them are insanely rich) and it's not a thing. They mostly wear jeans and hoodies and big stompy boots year round. I remember tears at primary on non-uniform days. I think it took her a matter of weeks to adjust.

Our school usually does "wear something yellow" or "wear something Christmassy" etc, with school uniform. They have done full "mufti" once, but called it "non uniform day", because the word mufti is widely regarded as insensitive these days (a hangover from our colonial past).

My kids school doesn't have non uniform days for the reasons listed in the OP. It's a large mixed sex academy in what has been classed as one of the poorest areas in the country, with pupils coming from different areas of the town. There's a mix of kids coming from families with a bit of money and some coming from 'poorer' families.

It's fine to say kids wouldn't give a shit about not wearing uniform if they didn't have to wear one and they probably wouldn't if they all come from a similar socio economic background but when there's a mix of 'rich' and 'poor' kids, I think the story would be a bit different.

No shits given at Dd's non uniform school, it was cheaper than buying uniform too.

Some kids plan their outfit days in advance for mufti. Others toss in whatevers clean. Kids generally liked it though.

Haven't had one at secondary yet, Dts have just started y7. I remember hating them though there was so much pressure to be 'right'.

@ChangeOver22 yes here's to hope because it's getting less and less straightforward for them.

That's really encouraging to hear. Let's hope they herald a new era of women being able to just be.... women!

@ChangeOver22 exactly as you describe, women preened within an inch of their lives, seemingly ready for their close-up. I mean it's nice to look nice but the standards are unrealistic and in terms of comfort and practicality take us back decades. Plus surely the drain on personal on finances? to aspire to look like a doll?

However the tide will turn I feel, my joggy kid is a girl and all her co-ed school is like this, almost no make up, no flesh showing and trainers and docmartins only. There's definitely a code but the code is 'We're not doing it.' They have absolutely cotton on to the scam from what I get from talking with them. I love it.

I have a teen boy. All the boys seem to wear identical clothes on mufti day - joggers and hoody! Usually in black and grey, they might as well be in uniform 🤦‍♀️

The girls dress like they are going to a nightclub.

Ds (13yrs) does stress about it a bit but he hates anything that makes him stand out. He tends to wear very plain joggers and hoodies when the school has them with some genetic skater type shoes.

When are we going to teach girls that appearance isn't the only thing they need to be defined by?

It often feels like we are going backwards instead of forwards in terms of our sex.

The obsession with looks, clothing, status, beauty, bodies...

Why such double standards when I doubt most boys give it a second thought?

And I see this every time in celebrity news when couples are out and about. The man in jeans and trainers and the women dressed up to the nines, hair and make-up done, body on show, designer dress, highest of heels, everything glistening.

Why do men get a free pass to look how they always look but we're expected to be preened within an inch of our lives.

Sorry to disagree @NotQuiteHere I grew up abroad, no uniforms and we were obsessed. It's more of a generational thing; these days it's very uncool to be seen to care about fashion so the fashion is non-fashion.

It's not a non-issue when you are bullied relentlessly for not wearing the right stuff! This was over 40 years ago at primary school - all my clothes were third or fourth hand. My parents just didn't have the money for new stuff. I cannot imagine that things have improved in this respect with all the online pressure to look 'right'.

The relief when I got to secondary school and had to wear a uniform, just like everyone else was unbelievable.

Enormous joggers and sweatshirts around here, all seemingly from charity shops. No idea what happens to the 'nice' stuff I buy 😕.
I call it dead old white man's fashion.

I guess this is why schools have uniforms :)

No, it is the other way round. If there were no uniform, children (and their parents) would quickly get used to the idea that what to wear is a non-issue. This is what happens in school without uniform, both here and abroad.

I remember stressing about it in the 90s so this isn’t a new thing. And then I got to sixth form (with no uniform) and by week 3 I stopped caring.

Dd seems pretty relaxed - they have one a month so maybe regular enough for her to be more like sixth form me.

It barely ever happens at Dds school for this reason. Only twice since she started and she's in Y10. She wasn't worried but she's lucky, her aunt's buy her all the latest. Some of her friends were very stressed and she lent some of her clothes out. I remember being that child who borrowed clothes and I hated hated non uniform day.
I personally don't think there's any good in these. The less they happen the more stressful they are imo.

DS at all boys - they all turned up in joggers/jeans and hoodies. More uniform like than school uniform!!

DD at all girls - they had so many instructions as to what they couldn't wear it was a nightmare! Were those shorts too short? Did that top show too much shoulder? Were the straps too thin? Was that jumper just a bit small, or would it count as a crop top?

No stress and my 15 yr old DD is not in the least girly or into fasshion but her and the entire year group seem to wear black leggings and a baggy hoodie. DS (11) wears a track suit.

Our school has just stopped doing them, on request from the students' council. The argument was that it's distressing to some students.

If it is a self consciousness thing, rather than eg autistic distress at mixing up home and school, I can relate very much but I think it's not a bad thing for them to have to deal with. It's not healthy to catastrophise being seen in your own clothes - they have to do it every weekend unless they just sit at home all day.

I do think it's kindest to do it after Christmas though, when anyone who is short of clothes is most likely to have some new ones.

Never caused any stress here. It's buying bloody uniforms that causes me stress! And they get stressed about eg losing PE kit because it's so much money to replace it. One's in sixth form now with no uniform and things are much easier.

None of my kids (boys and girls) cared. Their classmates have seen them at weekends or on social media in mufti so as teens say, "it's not that deep" They like mufti days primarily because they can wear trainers rather than school shoes.

I remember HATING it when I got older. I went to an all girls private school and wasn't from a well off family, so they'd all be in designer and I would be in new look!