Teachers taking photos outside of school

Well it wasn’t the weekend was it. It was after school, which it usually a week day.

I'd be more concerned with your sons behaviour rather than the headmistress taking pictures of him. 💁🏼

I know that some parents have a better grip on their children's behaviours and I always thought I would too, but we also have other issues with our son which has had to be considered at each turn.

They don't have a grip on their child's behaviour better than you.

They have children who haven't got issues that they are communicating through behaviour.

I work with children with SEMH. They come from all sorts of backgrounds with all sorts of parents.

Some have been model pupils for years and then suddenly change.

Believe me. Having concerns that no one will support your child after punishment to move onwards and upwards is a real fear parents have. I've experienced it myself which is why I went for this position and why I'm so passionate about it.

And why I butt heads with some of the school staff in some of the schools I do outreach for

Most people in education are perfectly great at their job. I wouldn't do it for all the tea in China and I feel sorry for the teachers dealing with these pupils behaviour whilst trying to teach a class.

But I hate it when you meet a few who won't even try and meet a child and their family halfway and focus on the future and support and get stuck in the "but they did this".

I'm sure they've all done things they wish they hadn't and wouldn't want people defining them by it.

You've made an assumption the HT took a photo...

I'd critically reflect on how any of your other actions may have given your son the impression that you back his behaviour. You can do this without jeopardising communication.

I don't know why you've taken issue with me like this, I was responding to Pumper's odd posts about why it was understandable that he behaved like this, when he was subjected to rules made by adults. As if this alone explained all behaviours.
I haven't been derogatory about whatever op's son is going through.

It's not making a good choice to see your friends outside the school gate though.

I'd agree if it was the day after. But 15 mins after school ends appears deliberately provocative (towards school). If my child had a suspension they'd be in the house for the full 3 days and nights.

Well johnnysgirl I hope if they ever struggle with life you support them rather than solely punish them for it.

It's the most heartbreaking thing as a parent to watch your child crumble and then watch those around them who should be supporting them chip away even further at what little self esteem and confidence they have left.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

@Always2022
I appreciate this isn't the point of your thread, but you have beautiful manners.

I wish you and your DS lots of luck with this situation moving forward

I'm not convinced it does.

He served his punishment. It ended. He met his friends at the park.

The only message I can see it sends is that you are now trusting him to make good choices and respect him for sucking the punishment up.

I have children 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's 16, why can he not see his friends at the weekend?

I think you have been a bit naive (with good intentions) and this could be giving him the wrong impression. We all make mistakes and handle things badly. But a 3 day suspension this soon into the year must have come from something pretty serious. Being 16 I guess he's in Y11 so a managed move would be incredibly tricky with options choices, exam boards etc.

I hope he reintegrates well and school have a supportive plan.

Johnny's girl please tell me you are not a teacher - don't work in a school - or in fact don't ever have anything to do with children.

And let's hope if good forbid you ever have troubles with your MH and managing yourself that you get better support in RL you're willing to extend OP and her child online.

I'm a great believer that you don't get to be the parent you want to be - you'll be the one you have to be!

And my ds recently became a British para champion.

Don't let anyone write your child off. With the right support they can achieve great things - some just take longer, a different path and/or need a different type of upbringing to get there.

I wouldn't have thought my ds would ever look at anyone again 6 years ago - let alone race at a packed sports event live streamed on tv.

But I never stopped believing it could be possible.

He’s walking out of class.

I asked what was special about him.

Well, are the other students all walking out of class?

Eh? What's special about him, as opposed to the other several hundred students?

With your wording around him being "allowed" now the suspension was "over" I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've attempted to let him bend/break the rules based on a technicality. Students don't get excluded for walking out of one lesson.

I'm not sure you're helping by letting him see friends because the suspension is technically over. Sounds like the HT wanted cast iron evidence of him being out. Surely common sense tells you to avoid school until his reintegration meeting?

Teachers do want to support students and want them to learn. They don't want to have to constantly spend time dealing with students misbehaving at the expense of other students learning.

How does that make it easier for him to follow the rules though?