Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Suspension woes

56 replies

StressyTimes · 17/09/2022 02:20

Any help gladly received - will try not to drop feed but do yea t to be too outing

My sisters teenager has been suspended from school for 3 days (currently serving) after inappropriate language to an older female pupil who made a complaint

My DN apologised at the time of the incident as realised they had said something wrong - not that this makes it right but the complainee fid not seem bothered by action

DN had a good record at the school

My sister feels that the punishment is too harsh for what was said and Is not fair -feels his good record is tarnished and that when he returns he will end up being singled out left right and centre

Anyone have any words of advice I can give her ?

OP posts:
Original poster
StressyTimes · 17/09/2022 11:05

Yes I am not at all happy that my 13 year old DN said this to a 17 year old sixth former

3 days for a one-off first offence does seem harsh - he did apologise immediately , realised that it was inappropriate and should not have been said and said as much

School have confirmed the above

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 17/09/2022 11:00

Usual that he said it or usual that he was excluded??
What he said was grim and completely inappropriate. He deserved exclusion.

TeenDivided · 17/09/2022 10:57

Girls, especially those under 16 should be able to go to their learning environment without being subject to these kind of comments. If the DN wants to compliment a girl, how about saying she is pretty, or funny, or has interesting views?

Original poster
StressyTimes · 17/09/2022 10:55

Thank you both for info - will pass on.

He apologised straight away and said he was in the wrong but several days later they complained . All my sister has learnt is that it was a teenage sexual comment about how hard he got thinking about her - yes she is not otoud that he said it but 3 days still feels harsh but we've no real experience of any of this and perhaps this is usual ?

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 17/09/2022 10:47

A three day suspension is very severe for a first offence, so what was said must have been pretty bad (or not the full story). If your sister is wondering why the punishment was harsh, Ofsted released a report into sexual abuse and harassment in schools last year that was pretty awful and all schools have been told to have this as a child protection focus. There's a thread running currently in Chat about a grammar school that went from Outstanding to Inadequate because it wasn't taking this issue seriously and not listening to complaints.

Agree that the correct response when he goes back would be to keep his head down and admit he was fully wrong and apologetic and mortified if pushed.

TeenDivided · 17/09/2022 10:30

Tell DN to keep their head down, and not react to any negative comments and it will get blown over by the next scandal. If pressed say 'I realised <straight away> I was out of order so apologised <immediately>'