Child not enjoying St Albans school what should I do?

Surely overqualified is better than underqualified?

Besides doing a PhD is often when people get teaching experience and decide they'd like to do it.

Poor kid he sounds unhappy, and sadly for him (sorry for saying this OP), but it sounds as if you're taking his reasons for not being happy with school, friends on face value. So he doesn't get the guidance or support that he needs at home - he just gets you affirming that he's too superior for his peers and teachers. Unless he changes that attitude he's going to lead a very unhappy and lonely life.

Like others I suspect there is a huge amount of masking going on here. Whether it's undiagnosed ASD, or simply a teen being unhappy and blaming things beyond his control rather than working on the issues himself, I don't know. But for his sake put ideas of moving school out of his head and start working on him.

I think your son needs help & support to understand that he should not be valuing people based solely on how ‘intellectual’ they are. Valuing others (& therefore yourself) based on academic achievements is (imo) a fast track to unhappiness.

I say this as someone with an Oxbridge degree, a doctorate & other degrees. My friends range from people who don’t have a single GCSE to Professors who have won awards for their contribution to their area of study. Everyone has value and something to contribute & your son should be encouraged to socialise with many different types of people. He doesn’t need to confine himself to people with his same interests. TBH moving schools isn’t going to help him unless he looks at a wider friendship group

Your son sounds like he is extremely bright and is doing amazingly well academically.

His soft and social skills, however, sound poor. Regardless of whether he has an undiagnosed SEN or not, perhaps this is something you could suggest he focuses on, with a view to him being a more rounded individual? It's not that easy to get on in life if you're an academic genius but you can't talk to other people without getting their back up.

I also don't understand why a highly qualified teacher is a bad thing.

I have friends with kids at St As and I know MTS and Habs pretty well (applied to both, kids are at one of them).

St As is a very good school and academically on a par with the other two, although I'd say Habs has a slight edge. There's a different vibe at all of them - St A is very much a city centre school and parents find the bus-ing to Woollams a bit frustrating for sports activities at times. I'd say they're stronger at rugby than hockey and cricket.

Habs is probably the most 'nerdy'. Gets excellent results but not particularly strong at sport.

MTS more of an all-rounder - similar to St A academically but more sports focused.

One friend at St As hasn't been wowed by her experience. Nothing in particular but a bit underwhelmed on a few fronts.

While places do come up, I'd strongly recommend giving it to the end of the year before you decide.

Definitely think your DS needs support at the moment and look into autism (from the limited information it sounds like that might be the case).

It is early days, and he's at that tricky age. It might just be it's a bit harder to make friends as such, assuming the boys have been together since y7, so the 'new kid' is floating around? It will get easier, but of course there's a huge difference in joining a school in year 7 compared to year 9.

Hopefully he will find his tribe soon, and enjoys school.

Agree with others, sounds like he might have ASD. Any major change will really knock a child with ASD, so you will have a turbulent time initially no matter what school you send him to.
Grammars usually have a few similar boys floating around. My (grammar school) son was part of a politics and philosophy whatsapp group age 12 with a few of his classmates, and he is on the spectrum. That said, if I were you I would sit tight at his current school and try to reassure him. Once he has settled things should improve.

The worst teacher I have ever worked with had a doctorate from Cambridge.

I don't know anything about the school apart from what others on this thread have said, but if it is one of the "top" academic schools in the country then it should be challenging enough for the brightest minds. What I see is a deeply unhappy boy who is masking this behind arrogance towards his teachers and fellow pupils. I imagine the school wants intellectuals and debaters but also to build boys who can lead, inspire, work a room, and that requires social skills your son is evidently lacking. Don't make a knee-jerk reaction and move schools, especially if you are only willing to consider very similar type settings. Set up a meeting with pastoral care, looking into assessments, counselling etc. Setting himself up as a superior loner is not an attractive future.

Is there not a junior debating club?
My experience is only with London private school but usually these schools are full of boys like your son and would have loads of boys who have an interest in philosophy.
There are very unlikely to be places in schools like St Paul's and Westminster. I'm sure if you son gives it time he will find his tribe.

@Logicalwannabemother it sounds to me that the most pressing thing (speaking as a teacher) would be to have your son assessed for social communication difficulties. He sounds like he is seriously struggling in these areas and St Albans should have a decent Learning Support department where they can enquire into what the problem may be.

@Logicalwannabemother , it's too late to move your ds to a leading boys private day school and I don't think you would find the situation any different if you did. Plus you need a reference from St Albans to move him. I suggest you meet with his class teacher / head of the year soon to discuss these issues and they can bring in extra support. He can move again for A levels and there are lots of options - a leading boarding, IB at somewhere like Sevenoaks or travel into London to a college like MPW where he only attends for lessons. Or he could try for a state grammar like QE.
Don't worry about the social stuff at weekends, I have a ds at a leading boys school and he sees few friends at the weekends as he likes to have a break from friends, these schools are very full on during the week.
You need to get on top of these issues as he won't find UK universities much different either.

I agree with PP that there could be autism there. Sounds a lot like YP I work with. And it runs in families. Have you considered this op? Can help people find a sense of their identity and tribe

1. Is he being bullied?
2. Is he going to be happy anywhere? Sounds like he has a view of himself that he is superior to all - he will be in for a bigger shock if you don't sort this out now.

My Dd started secondary last year. We had a very difficult first few weeks but by half term she had settled, found her tribe (in her case bright but sporty girls) and is now pretty happy.

Realistically it is unlikely that a school that has empty places 2 weeks into term is going to be what your son is looking for.

Could he have mental health issues? Like the previous pp suggested is he depressed or suffering with anxiety maybe? And using this 'arrogance' as a mask?

I know nothing at all about the school (beyond having heard of it) but what jumped out from your posts was that your son sounds very unhappy.

Is he depressed or anxious? You say he had difficulties in his last school, doesn't want to spend time with his friends at weekends - does he have hobbies that he enjoys? His attitude to his new school is very negative after only a week and seems to be finding fault for the sake of it. The 'arrogance' could be a defense mechanism if he has been hurt by friends in the past? I don't think moving him elsewhere as a knee-jerk reaction would necessarily help. Would you consider some therapy or counselling for him?

Your son sounds so intellectual, clever and mature . You must be so proud 😊

Your post is surprising because STABS is one of those schools that seems to produce confident but not cocky engaged boys and men.
Academically they want to be serious but not overly competitive. I would say it is a very balanced school.
13/14 is a weird age anyhow and moving schools is never easy. I would talk to his form or house teacher and see what they suggest doing to help him settle.
I wouldn’t indulge conversations about him moving for sure. That’s not the right message and won’t help with trying to make friends.

Well, I can understand you don't want to go into outing details on here. But it sounds like he urgently needs some more support - without more details it's hard to say what. I am still wondering whether he may have some form of neurodiversity.

What do his teachers think? How is he really doing? They may have ideas about extension activities that would help him find a niche.

You need to sit down with your son and explain to him he's not better than anyone else. Maybe he has matured intellectually a little earlier than some of his peers but they will catch him up and do just as well as him in the long run.

In the mean time, he needs to concentrate on finding ways to get on with everyone else as that is as likely to lead to future success as academic qualifications. I suggest leaving his niche interests to the weekend, as they are likely to antagonize fellow pupils. Nobody likes a smartarse, after all.