Child not enjoying St Albans school what should I do?

It sounds like your son needs some coaching in how to have normal conversations. I presume he’s an only child and I wonder if he’s used to getting all the attention - easy to do, he is your child and they are obviously fabulous, but you are not helping his social skills if you are allowing his ‘arrogance’ to continue.
Two of my children have needed specific help with not correcting people when they are wrong unless someone will get hurt, for example. They were about nine, but I think the point still stands. We went through a few examples of scenarios and responses and what would be good and what wouldn’t.

I have girls, so no particular axe to grind - but I’ve been involved with that school (sixth form) in a volunteering capacity. There are some very bright, very engaged kids there. And they’re an eclectic bunch with a wide range of interests and experience. As someone with an Oxbridge degree myself, I felt I learned a lot from listening to and chatting to them. I can’t believe that your son - however bright - wouldn’t find something or someone to learn from in that environment.

Do you think Boris was discussing Kant at break time? 😅

Eton might have done. Missed that boat!

I'm not sure this is for real. In your 2 June thread in your son being bullied at cricket (in his nihilistic Nietzsche phase) he was your only child. But in a further thread the next day you had 3 children (one at St Paul's and another at Cambridge). I hope this is fake because the reality is obviously a difficult position for a child to be in. If this is real, my advice would be to speak to Mr Burger.

If your DS is as intelligent as you claim and needs some additional intellectual stimulation, perhaps he could teach you the differences between their/there/they're and are/our.

They'll keep him occupied for a while, no doubt.

You’ve given a hell of a lot of personal information out on this thread. Let’s hope nobody from school sees it

Um... a diagnosis might be useful for an unhappy ND child because his teachers might understand him better and he might gain a greater understanding of his own needs. It doesn't necessarily mean his mother has to do loads of work on his social skills.

@Logicalwannabemother I, like other posters, have to say, immediately assumed your DS is autistic. As his Mother you need to work on his soft skills immediately. Your child is arrogant by your own admission, and alienated himself at his previous school. You have to start teaching him some humility and social skills - because as bright as he is, he’s going to have a very lonely future otherwise.

Sorry if it’s been said, but a grammar may be better? They all out perform the private schools around here in terms of exam results. More academic for your son? I went to a grammar and we accepted people in all years.

I also went to a grammar but this isn't the case in our area. For 2022 GCSE results, St A achieved 93% grade 7-9 and Watford Grammar 59%.

Watford Grammar isn't technically a grammar school as it accepts a large proportion of pupils on distance without any exam element, although is highly regarded.

Bucks has a full grammar system and Dr Challoner's also has an excellent reputation for being highly academic. It achieved 77% which is impressive but still below St Albans.

St As is an academic school so I don't think that's where the problem lies but the social aspect of starting secondary and the time it can take to find your 'tribe''.

Home education wouldn't necessarily be worse for his social skills - if he's less unhappy he's more likely to be able to make friends. It's a big step and I've never done it myself but it might be a decent choice for him.

Sorry if it’s been said, but a grammar may be better? They all out perform the private schools around here in terms of exam results. More academic for your son? I went to a grammar and we accepted people in all years.

Or he could try for a state grammar like QE.

On a practical note, assuming you don't mean the one in Lincs or the one in Cumbria (or any other 'QE' in the country), unfortunately the OP can skip that idea, since QE, Barnet, is the only 11-18 state school I am aware of that does not allow external entrants into its sixth form.

Advanced philosophy, huh?
In what way?

Have you thought about home schooling? 😳

He sounds like his social skills are poor. Moving schools won't fix this.

I’ve missed this!

What is going on on here today. Everything I click on reads like absolute nonsense.

Despite how tempting it is to laugh at some of the stuff in this thread, it actually sounds like your son is really struggling socially and has no idea how to bond with his peers. No school will necessarily solve this. He’s trying too hard. Get him out of his books, talk about anything other than school and introduce new things that he hasn’t tried.

He needs less school, not a different one.

And get him the hell away from philosophy. It’s an intellectual cul de sac that he can explore when he’s older. At his age it’s meaningless.

(Also this thread is extremely outing so do have a think about asking to take it down.)

Moving school will not help him. Where has he got this notion that academics are everything? I'm sure there are many boys in his school brighter than him, and as he starts his GCSE syllabus how will he cope when he maybe fails at something? He needs to understand that social skills and the ability to get on with his peers is as important if not more. Not just at school but in life generally. I would definitely get him to see somebody who can assess why he is so behind in these areas. He sounds unhappy and rather than looking at what is really the issue he's blaming the school.

Either your son has some issues rated to ASD or he is a superior little shit who will get not nearly as far as he thinks he should because if it's absolute lack of EQ. mummy - you - clearly can't see this is you think his views after such a short time there are worth listening to.

He's only been there 5 minutes so it's far too soon to make a decision like this.

At a school like St Albans there will be a (fairly narrow) range of abilities- your son may be near the top and that's fine- doesn't mean it's the wrong school. He needs to find his feet and find some like-minded boys to befriend. My suspicion is that he's struggling socially and (consciously or unconsciously) mentally dismissing the other boys because of this. He needs to try to stop this and to stop arbitrarily dismissing the teachers likewise- he is in no position to gauge their teaching ability, what with him having been there a week and a half and being a 13yo boy.

So first, give it some time. Then maybe speak to his teacher if he's still struggling, in particular about clubs and activities that might help him meet some boys he'll get on with. If there's no philosophy club, maybe he can start one? I'd resist the urge to agree with him that the problem is that he's too clever, although I can see that that's a comforting idea for you both.

As for moving to Westminster etc- that's a very long shot but there's nothing to stop you picking up the phone and speaking to the head of admissions about whether there's any hope of a chance. Did he apply to those schools? But really, I don't think moving will necessarily solve the problem- I'm an OW and I can tell you from experience that 13yo boys at Westminster don't all sit around discussing Aristotle during break- they play football and laugh and dick about, same at St Albans boys and boys at all the other schools. He'd be far better off giving St Albans a proper chance.

I know one of these highly qualified teachers. After Brexit, research positions in their field dried up and they had to find alternative employment. Why your 13 year old son thinks he is in a position to judge the life choices of others, I really don't know.