Girls not allowed to use toilet during lessons - what to do?

My sisters lessons are 100 minutes long

I'd challenge it and also ask for a toilet pass for her.

DD2 was very anxious about starting secondary school in 2020. The toilet message was so strict that she wasn't drinking her water and was holding in her wee and ended up with UTIs, which she hadn't had since she was 4/5 - starting primary school, oddly enough!

What school should be doing is teaching kindness, trust and maturity. If you then misbehave yes there is a sanction to go with it.

What they do teach is zero tolerance, suspicion, mistrust and immaturity with their ridiculous discipline rules. Many schools are like massive prisons these days, it's quite disgusting.

@tigerbear the policy might not say it as they won't include every exception but there will be allowances for medical reasons etc. If your child really is that shy/anxious she feels she can't ask to go to the toilet then speak to the school and see if they can get her a toilet pass, like a little card she can just hand over to the teacher instead when she needs to go. Maybe my school is just very understanding, but we would try to find a way to help her in these circumstances.
But even the strictest of schools wouldn't want the pupils to suffer unnecessarily, that's not the nature of schools or teachers. I think some parents make a big issue out of things like this without even trying to discuss with the school first to see if they can resolve the problem. Just ask to speak to he head of year or form tutor and explain the situation, don't go in there shouting about it and demanding they change the policy because that won't get you anywhere.

Workplaces do, call centres for instance. Traffic wardens, police, surgeons, delivery drivers, teachers lots of people have to plan around their breaks/toilet availability.

Constant toilet trips are distracting for the whole class and are constantly misused.

Our school has this rule but its not enforced like that.
The expectation is that you go at break or lunch or before/after school, but if a student asks in class they are still allowed to go.
It's just in the rules to discourage people from going and missing class. Especially because the toilets are all on the ground floors and our school is five floors high in the main building and two or three floors in all the others- it takes them ages to get there and back, especially if they dawdle or chat while they are there.

Especially with younger students, the teachers never stop someone from going- the students just know that ideally they would wait.

If the school is so strict, and stupid/cruel enough to set this policy in the first place, I’d do a lot of googling and have a quiet word with a lawyer (or Citizens Advice) first to check if there is anything unlawful about the policy. They won’t change it on the basis of one complaint but they might if you send quite a formal letter pointing out that it’s unlawful in some way. Does seem in breach of their duty of care.

If there isn’t any legal issue you can raise, you might need to make a fuss. Complain to the head and governers, start parent petition etc.

What a nasty and stupid headteacher 😔

Be careful what you wish for. Year 7 kids are likely to be cautious and compliant. However this all changes as they get older. At DD's school, in a 40 minute lesson, up to 20 girls have walked out 'to use the loo' in a single lesson. And then do the same the lesson after. Some pack up their entire school bag because it is apparently their right to not have to discreetly hide their sanpro items (since this is the excuse) when they leave.
It is unbelievably disruptive and I have written to the school, and hope they will take action this academic year.
For your daughter - get her some period pants! She can wear these whether or not she is on her period and this might help her to feel less anxious.

As a teacher this pisses me off so much!!!

Yes there is a chance they’re doing it to get out of lessons or to meet up with their mates and smoke - but the majority just need the toilet!!!

My own DD did not eat or drink anything from when she woke up until after she finished school as she was worried she’d need the toilet during school.

Fortunately the rules have relaxed after so many parents complained.

It’s not just about holding it in.
It’s also the fact that there are hundreds of other students also needing to use the toilet in the same 20 minutes and many of the older ones or bullies will push past them or hang out in the toilets.

This isn’t just about girls either, boys also need the option to use the toilet.

Please complain.

The argument will be that teachers have to hold it as well which is true, but we also don’t have the worry about feeling intimidated when going at break time.

Our rules don't state it either.
So we just let teenagers wet themselves or soil themselves.
Or, hold on a minute, like every school in the land, we're told by the HT to use our common sense.

OP I think our daughters are at the same school. In West Sussex? I'm going to email, DD spent most of yesterday morning with her legs crossed, then had to queue for the loo for ages at lunchtime with everyone else and missed her lunch.
This is a new rule just introduced due to the problems mentioned, also vaping, so I understand the reasoning but am not happy for her to not have access when needed.

If 12 and 14 year old NT females are having toileting accidents, they need doctors.

This !

ive had nothing but issues with it , my girls are currently 12/14 , both have had accidents because of it , they categorically aren’t allowed to use the toilet even if they have started there period mid lessons or there pads need changing resulting in them regularly soiling in their self

so few toilets 1310 pupils , the queues mean they can line up all break and still not be able to go before the bell goes , they often spend half there lunch in queues

The toilet facilities their selves are disgusting , 9/10 there’s no toilet roll or running water or soap and bins over flowing

there school like most are a joke they reasoning is it disturbs lessons and a few pupils misbehaving, it’s simple punishing those pupils with genuine needs , it’s totally unfair to make people soil there selfs and then expect them to sit in it all day not to mention the embarrassment

school have requested a medical letter stating they need the toilet , going to the toilet as and when needed is a basic human right

Our daughters school has a similar rule. My older daughter left school last year. I’m not worried about UTI or flooding risks as I trust the school teachers are sensible.
The rules are for guidance. A teacher is well aware of the students who just want to go and meet mates and also the ones that rarely asked to go so it would be needed.
My younger year 8 daughter did panic as she has just started her period - i reassured her that if it’s an emergency the teachers are fine to be asked.

Sadly some teenagers push boundaries and take the mick so rules are needed.

Its so wrong i mean.. you dont see workplaces policing adults going to the loo so why children?

My dd attends a mixed state school and they had a similar rule. My dd said girls would ask to go to the loo but be refused. A couple of times she said girls have stood up regardless and said "sorry Miss, my period has just started and I need a pad" and walked out of the class. Good for the girls for being brave, but the teacher actually gave them detention!

And if there is a medical problem such as UTI, IBS or heavy periods just let the school know and they can pass it on to the teachers. But for most people not going to the toilet for an hour or two is fine.

l was a teacher for 27 years.

The main reasons they are not allowed out in lessons, is this is when most vandalism happens.

Teachers can check toilets on duty at dinner and break. There’s no one to check during lesson.

The last straw in the school l taught in was a trend for going to the toilet in lesson, turning all the taps on, and then leaving, causing 1000’s of pounds of damage. After this happened 3 times, they were only allowed to go at dinner and break. But we could override this if they were desperate.

I often see on here people quoting UTIs when you hold in too long - but how long is too long?

DS lessons are 50 minutes, surely no one is getting UTIs from waiting more than 50 minutes to go to the toilet?

(I understand in the OPs situation it's different as their school have said they can't go between lessons, which is ridiculous!)

But at DS school, with the exception of emergency situations (sudden upset tummy or for periods) I can't see any reason why pupils would need to leave class to use the bathroom.

Completely agree. I think it's absolutely shocking!

Check what the actual rules are.
Ours is: nobody can go during first or final lesson of the day unless there is a pressing need.
It's pragmatic.
Kid 1 goes to the loo every hour. Everybody knows she's going to meet her mate from another class/waste time/have a fab.
Kid 2 rarely goes. You know if she puts her hand up, she needs to go genuinely.
It's not hard.

I just think as young people, there shouldn't have to be a justification.. in the same where that you shouldn't have to justify your reason to your boss if you need to go.

These are young adults and we should treat them with respect

This 100%