Issue with school uniform

They all do it, whatever parents and teachers say.

DD's school have pretied ties that you can't mess with, and a uniform that is reasonably hard to make look terrible.

I went to a school that put us all in navy jersey roll-necks under a v-neck jumper ... impossible to make look different or scruffy. So we wore the wrong colour socks instead.

Unclench a bit OP. He will change his uniform as soon as he is at the end of the road anyway and it just starts everyone's day off with a shit start. I think this is a prime example of why schools should adapt and let hoodies and joggers/leggings etc.... as uniform. You don't have any of this hassle that way.

For the first week of year 7 we tried to send our son off looking properly that was it, he has to abide by the school after that it's up to him what he does

at my old school the uniform was long sleeve shirt, tie tight, waistcoat fully buttoned, blazer fully buttoned. Sometimes people wouldn’t do their top button up because it was so hot- but they would have to do it up again, then run a lap outside in the heat in full uniform. i think you should force your kid to wear it right.

OP - have you never been a teenager?! It's so important to fit in. I let my year 8 daughter shorten her skirt and not wear a blazer because that's what her friends so and it's important to belong. My daughter spends her morning working on her "look" but only 3 mins on packing her bag 🤦‍♀️

JaneStiler
However the first 2 days of year 8 he has both times left with his shirt hanging out and a short tie with a fat knot in addition to the top button undone and no blazer.

How do parents even let their kids go to school like that???

You tell us😀

Seriously, relax.

Sounds completely normal to me. Mass rebellion year 8 style 😀

Unless the school intervenes, there is nothing you can do.

This is the kind of situation where schools could sort the issue if they had the will. A few mornings at the start of term making everyone sort themselves out (in the rain?) before entering might make for less trouble later in the year.
Children will follow rules that are applied. If school doesn't enforce uniform rules then they can't be surprised if they aren't followed.

That said, DD's old HT said teens need something to rebel against, so if you let them rebel against how they wear uniform that need is satisfied and they won't feel so obliged to rebel somewhere else that might be harmful.

Well of course not, but he's not a man. He's a child.

Does he have a bedroom like a grown man would have? And watch programmes a man would watch? And go to bars and date women?

Do you treat him like a man? Or does he have restrictions that apply to children. Like telling you where he is going and when he will be home.

You have two choices-

1. Let him choose.
2. Make him leave the house looking smart but knowing his shirt will he untucked and tie tucked in when he's out of sight.

Realistically what can you do?. You've supplied the correct uniform. He can wear it however he wants & if he gets a detention then that's on him.

I'm already out the house myself some days when the kids go off, including my DS in Y8

They've both been told that I will supply the correct uniform items, if they choose not to wear them properly then that's between them and the school. They are on school transport so if they get a detention is a long old journey home on two service buses which is also a bit of an incentive...

Pick your battles. My mum always used to insist I unrolled my skirt before I left the house, I did, then rolled it back up again before I was at the end of the road. As long as you have supplied the correct uniform leave your child to it- the school will tell them if they have a problem

Grown men aren’t teenagers. It’s an inorganic time of pushing ii Darius and defining your own identity.

Didn’t you rebel at all as a teenager?

Teens don't want to wear that shit. They put up with it because they have to and get away with what they can.
If there wasn't a uniform most would be in jeans/trackies and t-shirts and wouldn't feel the need to rebel from it because they would actually choose the style they are comfortable in and in turn look smarter because they actually care.
As for the whole 'office workers wear suits' nonsense - adults choose where they work so technically get a choice in what they get to wear.
Leave him alone and the school can deal with it if they are bothered.

Is there a group of them trying to look cool in front of the others?

Our school would have made them put on a blazer from the preloved uniform store.

If the school doesn't care why are you getting worked up about it? If they go to college or uni then they can look like scruffbags there as they don't care either.

When I was in school in the 90s we tucked our tie in right at the top. I'd pick your battles- let him deal with it if he gets into trouble at school.

I supervise DD's roll. Otherwise it looks like a bustle at the back.

My mother (70) and I (late 30s) had a reminiscing session a few months ago about school skirts... turns out the reason my strict parents never bothered about me doing itvwas my mother remembered doing it in the sixties and so it for it was... harmless expression.