Called a ''Social Parasite'' -- for sending DC to grammar

Totally jumped the shark with that one.

But I knew all of what I have said before the decision was taken. Our DS will need to carry this cross for the rest of his days.
Oh, ffs, op! You can't be serious?

Sending DD to grammar school imploded our wider family. DH no longer talks to his brother and his wife. Brother has poisoned wider family against us.

Do I regret sending Dd to grammar? No. It works for her and she is thriving. The family can all sod off.

nasty, snobbish and blinkered as one could imagine. Our fellow parents are neurotic beyond belief, maniacally obsessing over the children’s superiority and difference over non gs children
Yeah, no. Don't believe a word of it.

I’d happily lose the ‘friends’ and tolerate the family in your situation. I went to an excellent grammar school and had a wonderful time. If we were in an area with Grammar schools I’d be absolutely delighted if my child could attend one.

OP, are you feeling ok??????

Half you posts sound like you are writing an essay and the other half sounds irrational and a bit mad! We are at a grammar and I don't know any people who match this profile 😂.

nasty, snobbish and blinkered as one could imagine. Our fellow parents are neurotic beyond belief, maniacally obsessing over the children’s superiority and difference over non gs children.

If you are feeling that conflicted, it's best you take your son out and leave that GS place for someone who appreciates it.

This is why I don’t employ anyone left-leaning. Holier-than-though ‘holes.

This ^^ with bells on

I'm surprised by the posters saying 'I'm against grammar schools and wouldn't do what you have done'. I also live in a grammar area and am massively against the grammar system. I hate it with a passion - it's unfair, regressive and favours privilege. It's also pretty shitty in the way that it divides kids up at the age of 11 into 'you're good enough' and 'you're not good enough' camps - the affect this has (in both camps) can't be underestimated - I've witnessed both the sense of failure, and the sense of superiority, each group of kids feel. It's utterly horrible and needs to be scrapped.

However, if you live within the system, as OP does, then your hands are tied. If the best school in your area for your kid is the grammar, as painful as this might be ideologically, then it's totally understandable that you have to work with what you've got. In my area, there are grammar schools and other schools that range from pretty shit to OKish. Surely it would be wrong to send your child to the wrong school for them based on your own ideology?

My children aren't at secondary age yet but when they get there, the thing I'm going to really struggle with is the fact that the test has been devised to virtually require tutoring... It's an incredibly difficult test to pass unless you understand what is required of you from it (gone are the days of some comprehension and maths questions, like I did for my 11+ years ago) so, yet again, it'll only be those who are willing and able to tutor that will pass. What's more, primary schools don't teach the test yet local private prep schools do - the whole thing just reeks of money and privilege. It's disgusting. So - if you feel how I do, and the right school for your child in the area is the grammar, do you properly buy into the system (literally), despite how sick it makes you feel, or do you not and let them go to the less good school, even though it isn't right for them?

My in-laws fell out with DH and I and top of the list of reasons was grammar schools. Most of my friends know DD well and respect us for our choice and know it was the right fit to send her to a grammar.

We had the choice of a grammar which was our nearest secondary school and that DD could walk to or the comprehensive (live in a borough with only two superselective grammars so the non-selective schools are still described as comprehensive) two buses away and failing.

I really don't get people who would judge a friend on something like this which is absolutely none of their business. I couldn't give a shit how friends chose to educate their kids. People like this are so intolerant it's unreal.

Why would anyone want you to send your child to a secondary modern school when they could go the sister grammar school? These are 2 sides of the same coin.
I am all for a decent eduction for everyone, and can see how the grammar school system disadvantages those who can't go to the grammar, but you don't have another option. You didn't create the system, and I don't think it's reasonable to expect you send your child to a faith school if that is not in accordance with your beliefs. I don't think faith schools should exist in a comprehensive system either, tbh.
But in your area there is a selective system, based on faith and ability. It sucks but what are you supposed to do?
It is none if anyone else's business ,and if they are disparaging of your choice, you can explain your reasons or tell them fuck off.

You seem surprised that a non-grammar school has “even” sent some pupils to Oxbridge so yes that suggests some snobbery/attitude problems on your part.

Thank you! Honestly I was thinking it was weird a group of professionals working it support families to manage assets would be anti academic separation!

STEP is short for stop the eleven plus.

What is STEP? I can only find an asset management organisation.

Sadly OP it seems that these days people have lost the ability to recognise that someone who doesn't have the same views as they do is not automatically wrong. Anyone who does things differently to them or does not think as they do is automatically described in a derogatory way. People don't seem to realise that just because someone doesn't share your views doesn't make them scum or thick which seem to be the go to insults. I think this has been made worse by social media as it it so easy to be vile to someone when you are not standing in front of them.

I recall having very lively discussions with friends at uni and although we had differing views and opinions we still managed to get on without being offensive to each other

Frankly if someone expressed that opinion to me I would be more than happy to have nothing more to do with them.

WTF? Are you, an adult and a parent, seriously considering moving your kid's school because someone in your family is saying mean things to you @Basherbasher?🙄

This is why I'm so pleased to live in Hampshire - no grammars at all. All this grammar talk confuses me as its just so alien to me but I didn't realise it was so decisive. But if I was you, I wouldn't move and would live DC in rage framer.

Get different friends. I lost 2 friends as a result of sending DD Private.
I don’t miss them or regret my decision

Also OP how far do you take the idea that it is immoral to have any unearned advantage of privilege? Some children at a fully comprehensive school will have parents who can help them with their homework and revision, some might pay for tutors, some have revision guides bought for them etc. All of these things are in some way creating an uneven playing field.

Ignore it you are doing the best you can for your son that is all that matters