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Secondary education

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Getting DS ready for Yr7

37 replies

Feckthisishard · 26/07/2022 18:32

Hallo, I’m sure this has been covered many times but I’m looking for any advice on how to prep my son for secondary school (state).

It’s obviously a big jump, with the biggest change seeming to be the moving around between classes, and having to remember all the different books. For those who’ve got a yr8 or older boys, is there anything I need to particularly think about, and help him get ready for?

thanks 🙏

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reluctantbrit · 15/08/2022 19:49

ChnandlerBong · 08/08/2022 13:27

Wow some people very involved in the secondary years here?

My only tip for year 7 is to keep talking to them. It's a busy time and if they have someone to offload on then that's helpful?

Plus stationery. Buy lots.

It all depends on the school's policy. DD got a detention in the first month for bringing the wrong RE workbook, two differnent teachers, two different books and she mixed it up.

Hardly a crime to teach a child to organise when the primary school was all about leaving everything in the school and having homework once a week. Or if the school route now involves public transport a child hasn't been using on it's own.

reluctantbrit · 15/08/2022 19:45

Muchtoomuchtodo · 08/08/2022 17:40

Sticky back plastic.

ours need to cover their books in the first week and it always catches people by surprise

Our school luckily stopped it as they really got into avoiding plastic waste as the books can't be recycled anymore.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 08/08/2022 17:40

Sticky back plastic.

ours need to cover their books in the first week and it always catches people by surprise

ChnandlerBong · 08/08/2022 13:27

Wow some people very involved in the secondary years here?

My only tip for year 7 is to keep talking to them. It's a busy time and if they have someone to offload on then that's helpful?

Plus stationery. Buy lots.

singingirl · 08/08/2022 12:56

My children are all very different and have needed differing levels of support actually. I found the key thing was to keep asking questions and keep communication very open so that you know how they are coping and what they need support with.

One of my children needed lots of support to be organised enough for each day, and took much longer to be confident in that area than another child. I ended up writing up the timetable for each day with room numbers on as little credit card sized cards that they could pop in their blazer pockets - seeing room numbers for the next lesson in an instant was super helpful and took away the panic about where they were supposed to be through the day!

I have another child starting in September and have a feeling he will be different again! Would counsel lots of patience, being there to chat to, and a recognition that all children are different and will need different levels of support, and that is really ok. 😊

Lubdeness · 06/08/2022 19:34

Empty bag every night of all books and as mentioned upthread, put the books into the magazine files of when they are next needed. A printed timetable next to where this takes place is essential. We also had a timetable on the back of the front door and the breakfast bar where they ate breakfast. They also had a laminated one in their pencil case too.

We had a homework time period, home, get changed, snack then homework. If no homework then time was spent expanding learning whether actual stuff they were covering in school or general learning about the world.

Whiteboard or notice board labelled with days of the week so they can write their homework on it under the day it is due in. The date it is due in was also written so they can see what to prioritise and you can see what they have.

2 pencil cases in their bag, one with the essential day to day equipment in and then another with compass, protractor, etc plus spares of any of the required equipment, for my sons that included whiteboard markers, pens in different colours, ruler, rubber, pencil sharpener, pencil. Kids can nick stuff to deliberately get you into trouble for the next lesson. None of these ever leave their bags. You have extras of these at home so they never forget a pencil case.

DCs used a locker in year 7 where they left their pe kit. As it meant two bags I made sure that their school rucksack had a carabiner clip to clip the straps of the pe kit to the main bag, that way you can't accidentally leave it under a table.

Make sure your child knows your mobile number off by heart and put it in their planner.

AlwaysLatte · 06/08/2022 08:17

Also, we have a separate notice board in the kitchen for them - calendar, timetables pinned up, a bulldog clip each for all their trip letters, etc, and the log in details for all their online resource apps. Certificates go on there too and they're always using it so it's been a great help.

AlwaysLatte · 06/08/2022 08:14

I love the idea of attaching the house key to the springy clip in the blazer! A few times we've had to be out when they've got home, and we've given them a key with fingers crossed and hoped for the best but thats such a good idea!

AlwaysLatte · 06/08/2022 08:10

I bought expanding A4 file organisers for each of them so that they could put each subject's books/papers in each section. I sorted books and kit every night for the first couple of terms (at least for the youngest, who is such a daydreamer he's even gone off to school in socks before I called him back!)
Decent backpack that's on trend but plain black/dark grey (I only let them have the type that have a drinks holder outside the bag, and with an inner laptop area to keep books flat). Also plain-ish pencil case and contexts (miss those Smiggle shops!)
Maybe consider buying a hot food thermos flask - both my boys say they waste most of their lunchtime queuing up if they choose school lunch.
I drove them and their friends the bus route one day then they went on the bus the next day as a practise during the hols.
Take them there and back on the first day to take the separate bus worry out of the equation for the first day.
Have 5x everything except blazer so it's all ready for the week on a Sunday night. Spare tie in case they lose it as it's a detention issue.
Get yourself familiar with all the apps they'll be using for homework/communications etc.
Make sure they know their own mobile number to share with their friends and have WhatsApp set up ready if they don't already have it.
We had a couple of get-togethers during the hols with their new classmates so that they could get to know each other beforehand.

grafittiartist · 06/08/2022 08:06

It would be worth teaching him how to tie an apron, and shoes for that matter.
I spend loads of time helping kids with this- it's a tricky thing for lots.

mumonthehill · 06/08/2022 07:42

Print out timetable and put it on the fridge. You then know what books they need for a gentle reminder and dc can have an easy look in the mornings.

MarchingFrogs · 06/08/2022 07:34

Cards, keys etc on a springy lanyard in a bag can be useful, if they always have that bag with them.

The second part being the operative one. If they get public transport, there is the possibility that the bag will be left to.ride the system until it (hopefully) ends up in the lost property office, while its owner arrives home / at school cardless and keyless😕. Springy lanyards for ours were attached to an inside pocket on their blazers, particularly useful for DS1, thanks to whom, DH and I became quite chummy with the staff in the lost property offices at both bus companies covering his route to and from school, not to mention at least two of those providing their services for school trips...

Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 05/08/2022 09:18

As a teacher and former head of year I have two things to add to this collection of excellent advice.
Firstly for the love of the great god Crom, make your your child has written down their user name and log in for the school system and any specialist sites, maths and English are notorious for giving these out .
Secondly be very firm about phones and contact. Every year in September we have anxious and sometimes angry parents on phone or in person reporting that their child has been seriously injured or bullied or both. Said child has texted parent at break etc to report a minor incident that has caused mayhem for the staff and parents.
Trust me if something important happens you will be contacted.
Tell your child to turn phone off. Or better still leave it at home. You would be amazed at the number of phones in lost property.

QuattroFromagio · 28/07/2022 09:45

Agree about the detentions - I've taught pupils who've been so anxious about getting one, and the longer it goes on without one, the more anxious they get. Once it's happened and they know what it's like, they relax and feel much better about everything. it doesn't mean they don't care or don't try not to get one, but the fear of the unknown is removed.

Cards, keys etc on a springy lanyard in a bag can be useful, if they always have that bag with them. A sneaky fiver or a few coins somewhere that they don't use often as an emergency is handy, if you can trust them not to just spend them every break!

Spare pens and pencils that you don't mind getting lost, so that they can on occasion lend them out to someone who doesn't have one, which can be a useful way of starting to chat to someone.

Photo of timetable on phone.

Write down clearly all the user names and passwords for every different email, homework site, maths program etc etc. So many children put them in once, have the device save the password, and then can't remember it a couple of months later when they have to log in somewhere else, or reset their device or whatever. Then they can't remember to go to the IT office or teacher to get a new one, etc, and there's no access for ages to their accounts.

Sorting out any extra loose worksheets, tests etc and keeping them somewhere safe, preferably in the book or in a pocket attached to the book. Encourage children to bring home the whole book if they're allowed, rather than just the one page of homework that they think will be easier to carry, as it doesn't end up getting back to the right place, and then when it's time for a test, all you have are half empty books, and random screwed up bits of paper at the bottom of a bag or shoved in other books, or even notes at the back of other books. They don't always encourage a jotter book any more, but you could provide a small notebook if they don't, for times when they do need a bit of paper to write something down, so that the useful information doesn't then end up scattered at the back of whichever exercise books are handy at the time.

Learning to use the reminders app on a phone can be handy, depending on the school policy on phone use. You can even be really specific and get it to remind you of something once you physically enter the school grounds, for example, as well as at whatever time. You can make it stay on the front screen of the phone until you click 'done', so that it's always there reminding you even if you don't do it straight away. Or get into the habit of resetting the time on it, if you don't do it straight away. Useful for reminding them for anything, like 'tell mum about food tech ingredients when I get home' or 'turn in permission slip for school trip at the office instead of carrying it around all day' or 'remember to go to maths tutor'. The more they get used to using that (or a paper diary and remembering to check it), the more they can put in it.

Sweetleftfood · 28/07/2022 09:23

All really good tips here, I have two boys, and the Y8 one is really organised, packs his bag the night before and leaves early, while the Y10 is shockingly disorganised ;-) up and down the stairs about a million times in the morning. He is never late but I am sure it's touch and go some mornings. I have given up even shouting at him in the mornings

One little tip is when you wash the blazer if he has one, make sure you put all their stuff from the pockets in the same place as in our house anything and everything get lost and I always get the blame .....

reluctantbrit · 28/07/2022 07:26

How to travel to and from school
If he needs a bus/train, organise an app on his phone
Set up a fixed area at home where his school books are and where he will do his homework.
Ensure you set up a list with all log ins for his school websites and apps.
If he has a locker with a key padlock, keep a spare key at home.
Always pack bags the previous day

TeenDivided · 27/07/2022 09:55

A good quality stiff plastic A4 wallet for transferring loose sheets of paper too and from home so they don't end up crumpled in the bottom of the bag.

(Possibly less relevant now than 6 years ago when DD2 started, or 12 years ago when DD1 started.)

A copy of the timetable up at home.

An understanding that some children may be independent within 2 weeks, some will take until half term or Christmas, but some who are less mature or who have diagnosed/undiagnosed SN may need much more scaffolding for far longer.

Some children need help because their parents do too much for them, some parents do a lot because their children wouldn't otherwise cope.

Singleandproud · 27/07/2022 09:46

The idea if getting a detention filled my DD with dread, we were late one morning in October as the car unexpectedly needed defrosting. She had a detention, lost her break but it was well worth it as it eased her mind. She's never had a detention since but at least she knows it's not like going to the choky in Matilda, she had this idea that it would be a scary experience rather than a mild inconvenience. So whilst I don't advocate poor behaviour, getting a detention for a minor issue early on is quite good if you have a worrier child.

Swimmum1206 · 27/07/2022 08:58

DS is about to go into Y12. I still remember day 3 of Y7 he forgot his pencil case and was absolutely devastated about the threat of a lunchtime detention!! Definitely pack the bag the night before. All through Y7-Y11 he insisted I check his timetable and bag with him every night before bed after forgetting his pencil case on day 3! Also have a complete pencil case/stationary set at home for homework so the school pencil case stays in the bag.

Have a copy of the timetable printed and somewhere around his homework area

Try to relax and enjoy the next few years. Believe me, they go far too fast!!

NeverEnoughCake2 · 27/07/2022 00:59

Agree with establishing a single space at home to store all books/textbooks that aren't needed for the next day's lessons. Saves endless faffing looking in multiple places for what he needs the next day.

Other useful trick was teaching him to use the washing machine, so he can stick his own muddy PE kit in as soon as he gets home

NoodleSnow · 26/07/2022 21:24

There’s a nice book for the transition - Go Big: The Survivor’s Guide to Secondary School.

redskyatnight · 26/07/2022 19:31

I think it's worth pointing out that schools do do things differently. For example, my DC's school doesn't allow books home unless revising for tests/exams so the book related tips here would be irrelevant.
If you can find out a bit more about routine at the school you are actually going to ahead of time that would be useful (try local Facebook group or one of his friend's parents with an older sibling).

MeditationAndMusic · 26/07/2022 19:29

Encourage good organisational skills. From having his bag ready to getting homework in on time, it will really help.

Schools are really good at getting the kids settled though in in my experience. I was surprised both times how smooth the transition was for my children. Within a few weeks it was like they’d been there for years. I think the whole process has much improved from when I started secondary school.

Feckthisishard · 26/07/2022 19:29

Thanks everyone. It’s good to get the tips.

I’m fully on board with the independence thing and I’m a single parent working FT, so the OTT mollycoddling has never been a practical approach in our house!

DS is actually pretty good at remembering stuff but I think secondary is still a big step up. He’s packed his own PE kit (and remembered which day etc) for years but getting him to do his own lunches might be an idea, even on a couple of days pw.

Any way that I can help him find his own feet is a good thing, I think.

OP posts:
MrsScrubbingbrush · 26/07/2022 19:27

The best tip we picked up on Mumsnet was to invest in a set of cardboard magazine holders. Label them Monday-Friday for his workbooks.

Then when he's packing his bag for the next day he can check when he has that subject again. So, say he has Maths on Monday but not again until Wednesday he puts his maths book in the holder marked Wednesday. It makes it easy to find the books and he's not left last minute hunting.

My DDs have just finished Secondary School & about to go off to 6th form college. This system has worked for them throughout their time at school. It may involve you helping to start with.

Also, remember that the move will be a steep learning curve for him and a lot gets thrown at them in Y7 especially the threat of detention for just about anything!