Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

AIBU to not reward results?

79 replies

MerryMarigold · 11/07/2022 16:19

DS2 today came home and said he'd got 100% in both Maths tests so we 'have to take him out for a posh meal'. DH thinks we should. I don't think he should be rewarded for being naturally talented. My Mum siesta said we should reward the hard work put in and not reward the result.

To complicate matters, DS1 has just finished GCSEs. He's stressed about getting a 7 in Maths to get into 6th form. I got him a few little celebratory bits and we bought him an Xbox game when he finished his exams but I think the reward for a good grade will be the good grade.

I'm not sure what to do here. What do others think?

OP posts:
pepsirolla · 11/07/2022 16:26

I've always thought the buzz from achieving something was reward in itself. I always bigged up mine when they did well and let them choose their favourite meal or special pudding that evening that we'd cook.

EduCated · 11/07/2022 16:22

I think I would be rolling my eyes at being told you have to take him. Rewards should be offered not demanded. Why a meal particularly? Is this a thing?

BlueKaftan · 11/07/2022 16:22

Are you saying he didn’t revise? Just breezed in and got 100%? Take him for a nice meal. This is an enormously stressful time in his life and he did incredibly well.

Original poster
MerryMarigold · 11/07/2022 16:21

Oh, a postscript, DS2 can be lazy and not that motivated to do well. He is chuffed with himself, which is actually quite nice (that he's happy he's done well), so perhaps we should reward him. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts: