No grammars and can’t afford private - how to help gifted son

Which part of Surrey? If the east side consider Whitgift/Trinity in Croydon whose bursary pots are pretty generous. He may not get a bursary at some of the others but Sports and Academic awards can be combined.

As pp have said, there is no reason why your son would not be stretched at a non selective state school. In my career in state schools I've taught very gifted children and have seen many go on to Oxbridge. As a non selective state school, we actually get more into Oxbridge than the local (very expensive) private school. So don't discount what is on offer at no cost.

There will be someone coming along soon stating that bright children do well regardless of what school they go to (not true!).

We had both our children at private school and I dont regret it for a moment. I went to a standard comp and to say the expectations were low is an understatement. I often wonder how much better I would have done if I had been stretched!

Unless your local comprehensive school is really bad, to the point where teaching is disrupted and it is an unpleasant place to spend time, I really wouldn't worry too much. Most bright children have far less need of private school resources and attention than more average kids, so long as they have encouragement at home, and find at least some like-minded friends. It's very easy to "stretch" a bright child - far harder to help a struggling one. Plus University admissions now take into account average exam marks at schools attended, which can actually be a disadvantage to kids going to very high performing schools like super-selective grammars.

Could you look to see if anywhere near you has any 'super selective' schools. Bromley in Kent has St Olaves which is not a fee paying school but you have to pass an exam to get into it.

You say you have 2 children, if one gets in private can you afford for the other to go?

My brother was sent to private as he was "gifted" turns out we all were but he was the oldest so recognised first. Me and my sister were sent to the local comp as my parents couldn't afford all 3, where we did really well, but not as well as we could have done. I'd say our sibling relationship has been tainted by this.

Private school may not be the best option now that universities are looking much more to state school pupils.

I'd talk to any nearby private schools about scholarships AND a bursary.

If he is bright he will be in top sets and get great teaching anyway so honestly I wouldn't stress

Try for a scholarship at Private (we got 25%) but be realistic with your son about his chances
If he ends up at Comp just be as supportive and involved as possible and pay for tutors if necessary

(Except Carrington)

None of those look particularly like 'failing' if you consider their Progress 8 scores.

I have two very able DC, both doing brilliantly in our local comprehensive school.
There are lots of opportunities for enrichment online - for example mine are enrolled on the Maths Masterclass programme run by Simon Singh and they also use the Nrich maths resources.
Try not to panic - able kids can do fantastically well in state schools.

This is a list of all the secondary schools in Surrey.

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/schools-by-type?step=default&table=schools&region=936&la-name=surrey&geographic=la&for=secondary

Apply to RGS. They have a massive campaign going at the moment to give 100% bursaries to any local (Surrey should cover it) boy who is bright enough to pass. It is a private school but it isn't elitist and they do massive fundraising drives to increase these bursaries year on year. Definitely worth a look.

Depending where you are in Surrey you could also apply to Tiffin grammar, Sutton Grammar, Wallington and Wilson's - all within reach of East Surrey.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/2380902-Surrey-grammar-schools-best-place-to-live link

This might be a useful thread: depending on whereabouts you are in surrey, tiffin or the Croydon/Sutton options might be with considering. .

Most of the country doesn't have grammar schools, and kids do just fine if their comp is decent.
When you say 'failing local comp' can I just check what your definition of failing is?

So Ofsted Inadequate I would agree maybe try to avoid, though depends on the reasons.
However 65% getting 5 GCSEs grade 5-9 incl English and Maths would not be failing, even if results look poor compared with grammars.

Look at the reality of your local schools, where would he have a chance of getting into (admissions info is published by your LA). You've left it late to move house however.

My friend’s son is at a private school and the parents don’t pay a penny (they bring in around £80k a year. He has an academic and sport scholarship (not sure about the nursery side of things).

I have no idea about independent schools I’m afraid but loads of people here do and should be able to help.

Either ring the private schools and enquire about each school's bursary (each school can have a slightly different criteria), look at whether you are in the catchment for Reading boys grammar (that covers some of Surrey but depends which bit of Surrey you are looking at) or use any spare money for clubs etc.