No grammars and can’t afford private - how to help gifted son

The local schools will have measures in place for gifted and talented kids. Have a look at their prospectuses to see what they have in place. All grammars do, is take off the top percentage of the kids. In n9n-grammar areas, these study at normal schools.

Private schools don’t always equate to a higher academic ability.

Getting good grades doesn’t mean the child had a good school experience. I got A* grades at a state school. I was also miserable, had the shit beaten out of me regularly and attempted suicide on one occasion. I was called a swot and ostracised for getting good grades. My friend went to a private school where achievement was applauded and it was a whole different ball game. His final grades weren’t as good as mine but he had a much better school experience.

Urgh,

The state school did way better than the private one she nearly went too

I agree with all of the others, apply for a bursary/scholarship. DD was accepted to our local very popular private school & no fees at all to pay. She did however decide she didn't want to go, as she absolutely loved a state school we did visit & she ended up there instead. There were a few things about the private school that did put me off too, in that a friend whose DS was there on a scholarship, was really struggling with the immense pressure the school put on her to join in & volunteer in the school, hence why we let DD choose.

In the end, the state school did way better on exam results than the state school too. A good state school with great SN & gifted programs, & classes streamed to abilities, can be a better fit, as we found out. So I'd look more closely at your state schools too

@Suddha

My dd got a*'s from her comp in special measures. Kids can do well anywhere

My dd got full marks in maths throughout including GCSE, some kids are very good at maths. State schools can cater for him

If your son is 'gifted' he will be fine wherever he goes.

But don't ignore your other child.

My elder brother was very 'gifted', won a scholarship to a private school where he was bullied for being 'the scholarship kid'. My sibling and I went to the local comp which was a shitehole and did fine.

Thank you, @clary, and good point about the private v state debate.

@stratforduponavon I don't think anyone saying this: There will be someone coming along soon stating that bright children do well regardless of what school they go to (not true!)
Some people, such as @Maireas in some excellent posts, are saying that bright children can and do well in comprehensive schools. Private or grammar are not the only options fir a bright student, which is worth saying. Mate of ds2's is ace at maths, was well supported and challenged at their state comp and is now at Cambridge.

And while children may do well in private, there is no way of knowing how they might have done in state. Let's not make this a private v state debate.

You can look into scholarships for private schools.

From my experience motivated and bright children do well most places generally though. I think it’s the middling children that can be overlooked.

My dses have been through the local below average comp. Ds1 got 9’s at gcse, A*’s at A level and is now at Oxford university, Ds2 did similarly well at GCSE, is predicted A’s at A level and will hopefully be going to UCL this year.

To be fair the school has been awesome and they did really support and push both my dses so don’t write off a school because of exam results, that’s far from the full picture.

Scholarship

He should do well in any school, if he is really that good he will be outstripping his teachers pretty soon. Longer term check out the Olympiads and Kings College Maths.

@KimGa I have a son at the RGS. I don't know how to post a link but if you look on the RGS website under the "support us" heading at the top of the page you'll find info on the campaign. Hope that helps.

My children were both educated in the state system in Surrey. No complaints about how DS1 did, & DS2 who is very academic was exceptionally well supported by his school (for ezample allowing him to take an extra GCSE). After his gap year DS2 is taking a place at Oxford this autumn.

I don't believe DS2 would have done better going private.

Who knows. However, it is fair to say that times have changed, and all state schools are measured now on progress and you can check the results.
Every school I've ever worked in has stretched bright children.

but don’t let anyone tell you that bright kids do ok in a state comp - they do not Surely that depends on the school, and to a certain extent the kid? Of course they won't necessarily always thrive, but I certainly wouldn't assume they won't either. I know plenty who have done extremely well. Sometimes after transferring from a private school as they weren't happy. I know of very few bright kids who have struggled in any way at a comp, but do know some middle of the road or weaker kids who have benefited hugely from the additional time and attention given at a private school.

Kings College Guildford is absolutely ok. I have friends who have children there and they are doing really well. You can always start him off there and get in the waitlist for GA or GCS if you wish. But he is doing well at a state primary so he should be fine in a state secondary.

I think it's fair to say, @Suddha, that bullying does occur at private schools as well.

If your child is gifted the main concern in a state school is bullying. This can lead to the child pulling back on their work to get lower grades so the bullying will stop. Worst case he will have a terrible time at school. I agree he needs to be in a school where achievement is valued and the average standard is higher. No advice to offer sorry but don’t let anyone tell you that bright kids do ok in a state comp - they do not.

If you are in Guildford, then I might understand your issues. I would expect both Guildford County and George Abbot to be good for a bright pupil - they regularly get pupils going to Oxbridge, for example. The rather odd catchment rules for each aren’t helpful though. Despite them being our closest two schools we were offered neither and have gone private (RGS) instead. The head of RGS has stated on numerous occasions his goal of making school places available to all bright boys regardless of income, so I would agree with the previous poster that it is well worth a call to the school to discuss your situation.

Just a word of caution re his y5 maths results. My DS was also considered to be gifted at maths in Y5 and Y6. He was the first child in the history of his school to achieve a gold medal in the national school maths competition. He passed the 11 plus and went to grammar. He was put in top set based on his Y6 sats but found himself in a class full of amazing mathematicians. These kids didn't even need teaching the curriculum - they already knew it so the teacher skipped ahead far too fast for my DS to keep up.

He was so miserable that we asked for him to be put down a set. Then he would be put back up after a few end of term tests and would be miserable again. In the end we instructed the school to leave him in the second set where he was happy.

A decent comp will put him in top set and I'm sure he will thrive. If you look around any state schools see if they take part in any national maths awards as they may give extra lunchtime lessons to prepare for those.

Possibly read the competitive parents posts elsewhere too

Hmm, so you say your child is gifted and got 100% in his various maths tests. But then your immediate response is to remove him from an environment he is doing well in and put him into one he may or may not do well in.

He is also above average at most things including sport. TBH he sounds like a well grounded allround good egg. But i cant get my head around the need to change things. Why not speak to the existing school and ask them how they can stretch him. Get him a maths tutor you can afford and really push him (At his own pace). That way you dont stretch your family, you dont effect siblings by moving them away from a place they are happy and quite possibly you may be able to afford to help his siblings in the same way if needed.

Just to note. I'm coming from the perspective of someone who 1) makes Oxbridge admissions decisions 2) has kids who went to the Reading super-selectives with zero tutoring but who saw their peers do just as well at the local comp 3) was easily in top 0.1% kind of territory back in the day (before my brain rotted...) and did more than fine at the local comp.