To think teachers' kids have all the advantages

I've not noticed teachers kids being any brighter than mine, it's more likely they are being brought up in an environment where education is valued and prioritised. My ex is a lecturer rather than school and my kids got dragged out to museums, castles and historical places rather than a beach holiday, because that's what he liked to do too. They call it cultural capital, and it's definitely something that puts kids at an advantage, I didn't know about it years ago, it was just the life we lived, more recently I've read the research and it explains a lot

@RosesAndHellebores my 'not linear' was aimed at @Haudyourwheesht not you. You sound like a perfect example of the fact that 'success' isn't linear. In my case, I wouldn't be at all surprised if at least one of my children ended up teaching. I would count that as a 'success' if it's what they want to do and makes them happy. Other people would look at income level and say that teaching would not be a 'successful' outcome given the child's current academic success. So much depends on definitions.

@Haudyourwheesht how did I do that if I didn't go to university? Because in my 20s I worked in the City from 1981 and did very well. At 25 I owned my own house in SW London and by the time I met DH had hardly any mortgage. It was my success that allowed me 7 years at home with the children and in my early 40s I took professional qualifications and have been a director of a quasi public sector organisation since.

University isn't a pre-requisite for success you know and wasn't essential in the 70s. I was as well educated at 21 as most people who did have a degree.

@butwait I don't think I was saying it was linear, far from it but what I'd like to know is what all these children of school teachers are doing in 20 years. MiL had a 1 in 3 success rate, neither of DH's sibling went to Oxbridge and neither are successful - far from it despite going to Russell Group Universities.

Marrying DH helped of course

@Haudyourwheesht i don't know about @RosesAndHellebores but it's not always as linear as that. I went to Oxbridge as a first generation university entrant. Nobody on either side of the close family had been to university before, but both my parents were bright and they massively valued education, for its own sake as well as for the opportunities it might provide. As for wealth, looking at the people I know, I don't think that necessarily follows education. You've got academic types like me, who don't necessarily want to follow high earning careers, and you've got go-getting types who earn loads through grit and entrepreneurship, in spite of mediocre exam results. Of course there's a broad correlation, but it's not a hard rule that the better educated you are, the more you'll earn. And sorry if it's unpalatable, but a lot of the wealthiest women I know got there through marriage, not work.

So you paid for private education? How did you do that, if you didn't go to university? I'd assume you value education if your children went to such prestigious universities? Did anyone in their lives attend university? Do you work long hours?

Yes I do, so I look at them at 2.5 and think what's a reasonable age to do the ECT - they'll go full time just before they turn 5 (one of oldest in their class) so that would be September 2024. I've got 3 years left of OU degree though so 2025. I'll be 44. Is that too late I wonder

Presumably from that you were at your parents school? Which is different to the general I didn’t consciously decide to ‘teach them’ anything before they started school- it was just how I’d been trained to interact with children. They could read and write before they started school. kind o advantage that most people are talking about. In your case your parents didn't do fair by you in their attempt to be equal.

Another one who thinks that it's more to do with the type of people who become teachers than any specific advantage from being the child of a teacher. My kids are the children of a teacher (DH not me) and they are both doing extremely well academically. But DH and I are both masters-educated bookish types, so it's not really all that surprising that they have a greater than average chance of doing well. I suspect people probably look at them and assume that DH's job has made a big difference, but actually I'm the one who played a much bigger role in their early education. I was the SAHM who spent endless hours reading to them, doing jigsaws, playing board games, going to the library, doing puzzles etc - not because I was trying to make them clever, but just because that's what came naturally to me - it's what I enjoyed. They've grown up in a house full of books, with parents whose idea of a fun Saturday night is playing Scrabble or doing the crossword. They've grown up with the unspoken assumption that school is fun, that teachers are nice people, that education is not only valuable but also enjoyable - and all that has come from me just as much as DH. I'm not saying that his job hasn't had any advantages - but they mainly came later on, once the kids hit 11+ stage and started doing more serious work at home. At that point, his teaching experience was useful. But up until then, it really made very little difference - he knew bugger all about the primary school curriculum, and any homework help was just as likely to be done by me, as him.

I can't think of a single mother except me who didn't go to university. DS went to Oxford; DD to Cambridge. DS has just submitted his PhD. MIL was a teacher but only one of her DC went to Oxford.

My DC both started school reading. You don't have to be a teacher or university graduate to read to your children, teach them phonics, colours, flower names, trees, to recognise birdsong, listen to music, go to museums, build sandcastles, hunt for pebbles, have bear hunts and play sardines.

I do expect a teacher to prepare all children for exams in accordance with the curriculum. We paid.for our children to be well educated as well as well qualified.

I’m an ex teacher. DS was exceptionally bright and always excelled in everything he did. For that reason I was often told it must be because I was teaching him at home. Not the case at all. I never once did extra work with him! He didn’t need or want it.

DD is different. Although she’s above average in literacy, she really struggles with numeracy. I will be doing some extra work with her over the summer in Maths. Even if I wasn’t qualified as a teacher I would do this. Her teacher has recommended it and I know she needs it. I don’t expect that she will end up doing exceptionally well, but for her sake I would like her to be able to keep up with her class.

But @thepogues many teachers are not primary teachers so this is not a thing for them. I know about PEE and its various variants, but because my DC have talked about it, rather than because I am a teacher. It's not something that is used in MFL.

I honestly don't think it is beyond the wit of an educated adult to read an exam mark scheme and the examiners' report and work out what is needed. They are hardly written in technical language. I did this when DS1 was struggling with English language as, despite being a teacher, I didn;t know all about the GCSE english exam. Anyone else could have done the same.

Are you a teacher or is this your take as a parent?

Either way, I feel quite sad for you, as that is really not anything like my experience at all.

@worriedaboutmoney2022 * I agree
One of the teachers has a child in my daughters year and at parties etc it's massively awkward for everyone else and she looks uncomfortable too

If they have to be in the same school they should definately not be in their clas and if there's only a one form entry they shouldn't be there*

You feel awkward because a parent is a teacher? Why?

I’ve taught a few teacher’s kids and I don’t think any stood out in terms of being really bright. Most were top groups though I’d say, one wasn’t but it is infants I teach so that might have changed as they moved through school. Every single one was very mannerly and polite though, which is in huge contrast to many of the children from non-teacher parents. Their parents clearly showed how important school was. Many said to me that they hadn’t started the Primary 1 work with them prior to starting school as they didn’t want them to be ‘one of those ones’ and now I have my own child I will be completely the same. I would hate to think of my child being over-confident and shouting out ‘we’ve done this’ ‘I already know this’ etc, as lots of very well-read children have done in the past 😑

I was friends with a few kids at school, who also had siblings in different years. From experience, one child was the "clever" one (top of the class, straight A etc) and one sibling was the one who was constantly under pressure being compared to their sibling. They were no means stupid but other teachers expected higher marks, especially if it was the older sibling who excelled.

Both of my parents are teachers and I did very well in school. But I found it highly stressful and pressurised and the requirement to do well was pervasive, despite the fact that neither of them taught in my schools.

There was also a lot of pressure socially, as ‘everyone knew who my parents were’. It felt claustrophobic.

It also became very apparent when I entered the ‘real’ world, that having 2 parents in the school world, was zero preparation for the commercial world, and my husband, whose parents were in business has absolutely thrived in that environment, whereas I found it much more difficult.

I teach twins whose mum is a teacher at the school. One is very very good. One is alright. Not sure how that fits into your theory?

As a daughter of a teacher, your post sickens me.

I'm academically bright but ever time I did well in school,I was told by other children that I must have been told the answers before the test etc.

In my case, my parent was so focused on fairness that I often had it tougher, wasn't give the extra help or support that other kids got. Never give the best role in a play,never captain of the sports team etc. even though I should have been on merit on many occasions.

To see this attitude from children is understandable as they know no better. To see it from an ill informed adult is grating.

Just out of interest, what to do you? What favours does it do your children? What advantages do they have as a result? Or does it have any impact at all?

I don’t own a dictionary. What a stupid homework!

It is very much down to the value placed on education. Also with my own children(who did not attend the school I taught in) they knew that I was unlikely to have any sympathy with them if they complained about a detention etc.

As a pp has said, lots of our holidays included educational 'stuff' - museum visits, archaeological sites. Both of my children love history and have visited lots and lots of historical sites. We also watched a lot of history programmes on TV - starting way back with Horrible Histories when they were small. Reading for pleasure is also important. As a family we have always been big readers, and their dad read to them at bedtime for years.

When it came to the exam years it helped that I knew where to go for good resources - good internet sites, or past papers. Uni applications were the same - they had lots and lots of relevant things to put on their personal statement.

I wouldn't say this just applies to teachers though. Any parent who values education and has lots of shred interests with their children would do the same.

I was at grammar school back in the stone age, and there was a high proportion of teachers' kids, including me. I used to wonder whether this was because teachers recognised the value of grammar school education more than other parents did, so were more likely to try and send their kids there. Or maybe it was because the teacher parents knew more about bringing up well-educated children, or children better prepared for passing exams. Or, genetics/intelligence (this one seemed unlikely as there are many other professions that require higher education).

We always had plenty of books in the house, from fiction to encyclopedias. A few years ago I met another parent and we were discussing the difficulties of getting homework done at primary level (didn't exist when I was a child, but that's for another thread). She was struggling as the homework her child had been set required a dictionary, and she didn't own one, so had to find time to take her child (and other children) to the library. I couldn't imagine not having a dictionary in the house!

DM was a teacher. I did really well at school, DM constantly got complaints about DB in the staff room. He goon his GCSEs twice and failed both times. (He is doing well now though!)

Oh, come on. That’s just really disingenuous.

Its not awkward when the child you’ve put on detention and called home about turns up at your child’s party?

It’s not awkward when you have to complain about another teacher?

Its not awkward for your child when they have their school friends telling them you’re an arse?

Yes, I know the above can be mitigated by having spouses do any complaining, by having a separate ‘work’ and ‘home’ persona and so on. It’s still awkward. It gives you absolutely no space from your child and you both need it, but more so them.

@worriedaboutmoney2022 why was it uncomfortable? They are just teachers, still human and not vampires. I don't understand why you would feel awkward at all.

True but most of the parents I know are all educated, including many with post-docs. In fact, many more 'educated' than some of the teachers I know. And they all value education, reading etc etc. I think knowing what is expected for grades and being able to help in primary is key; especially as there is so much that rides on how the kids do in primary for their confidence/setting and future school choices.'

I found this interesting. For example, I have a lot of friends who have post-docs, in fact, DH's best friend and his wife are doctors, as are his parents and siblings. Massively intelligent family. Equally they have no common sense between them. We now no longer travel together to a destination, for example, we meet them there.

So yes, they are educated to a much higher degree than DH and I, however, they are completely scatty and their lives are often chaotic and without order.

I see this pattern in a lot of our friends.

However, what is distinguishable for me is that parents who are involved in their child's education (and I don't mean helicopter parenting, just normally yet actively enquiring after the child's curiosity and assisting the child to satiate this) are a deciding factor on how well the child will do at school. This requires not only a respect for education but also the child's path, and their agency in their learning path.

But, in answer to your OP, no we don't have access in advance to prepare our own children. Nor do we have the energy!
The questions I have are: what drove you to post? Do you feel an injustice over something?