What to wear when touring a fee-paying school?

Glad it went well! I'm glad I went as my usual dishevelled self - I couldn't have kept up the pretence for years! Best of luck for September x

So glad you had a good visit, @MamaMeBe . My only other piece of advice, which you probably don’t need, is to make sure you visit a few schools to make sure you choose the one that is best for your DC and you as a family. The schools will set out to impress you and it can be very seductive. Having a look at a few will help you discern which elements are most important to you from the plethora of attractive options. And when you have narrowed it down to two schools, visit them both again. You are making an enormous investment and have the right to be sure. It’s a bit like buying a house- one visit for the heart and one for the head.

My DC's school has the kids giving the open day tours, so they're certainly not judging the prospective parents clothes! In addition to comfy shoes, I'd suggest making sure you'll be warm enough standing outdoors - there can be a certain amount of outdoor queueing up involved if there are things like the headteacher giving a talk in the hall.

We went to one a few weekends ago. We both wore jeans and a top, my daughter wore shorts and a jumper!
There were people there in all sorts of clothes. They are more interested in your child than what you're wearing.

Just don't wear high heels as always loads of stairs to negotiate and large grounds to walk around

I agree to just wear something clean, reasonably presentable and low key. The only school where I felt a little 'judged' on what I wore and some of the parents really went to town was one of the schools in the same league as Eton which was super-competitive to get into.

It doesn’t matter what you wear @MamaMeBe EXCEPT that you should wear something that’s normal for you. Be comfortable. And best avoid conscious ‘messaging’ as that just comes across as insecure and trying too hard. Speech Day / Sports Day (not routine matches) may need a little effort (print dress and trainers will do it) but otherwise dress for the weather not the setting.

My dc's are at 3 different private schools and I have never at any of them felt judged or out of place with what I've been wearing whether it was jeans and a T-shirt, a smart dress after going straight from work or muddy jodhpurs and wellies after rushing there straight from horse riding!

Honestly, no one cares - and if they did I would have doubts about sending my dc's there!

I haven't rtft so apologies if someone has already said this, but surely they are trying to impress you not the other way round? So wear whatever you want...

Ime, the more of an upmarket impression people could make if they wanted, the less bothered they are about doing so. You get some very well off parents in jeans and t shirts. You really don’t need to try too hard. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in.

Remember that the tour is the time for the school to impress you, not the other way around! Of course it’s nice to feel you have made a good impression, but focus on getting the information you need above all. Such an important opportunity to see if the school feels right. Good luck!

I just wore t-shirt, jeans and comfy shoes - some of the sites are massive!

If it's a senior boarding school, these can be massive. One tour I did 13000 steps on - inc grass and country lanes so wear something you can walk in

Depends on whether you want to be memorable or not. I once turned up to a fairly rural school on my bike with sensible clothes and my helmet, and was viewed with a fair amount of bemusement. At the end they said I could email with any further questions and just mention I was the bike lady and they would know who I was!!!!

Dress down.

Don’t wear big designer labels especially not on your handbag.

Don’t wear a bling watch.

For reasons too outing to mention I know a lot about this topic, and it’s always better to look inconspicuous and low maintenance. Even if people claim not to “judge” they are still reading you sub-consciously.

Echoing others to say just wear normal clothes. There will probably be a huge array of outfits depending on what people are doing that day.

At an open day, it really doesn't matter much. Wear whatever you are comfortable in.
Are school events such as a play or a concert, it's smart casual but not for an open day.

Be comfortable, there can be a lot of walking if there’s a lot of grounds or stairs if there are old buildings.
There will be a mix of what people wear and only very scruffy or very dressed up people are likely to raise eyebrows

I've been to ones after work where I have been wearing black trousers and a smart top and ones at a weekend where I have been wearing jeans and a t shirt. I've seen everything from gym wear to suits to parents who have come from their farm or construction site!

Whatever you’d wear to look at any school.

Private schools can, at the risk of stating the obvious, be snooty. You and/or your kids might well end up being judged [by some, certainly not all fellow parents] at some point for one or more aspects of your dress, car, address, holidays, accent, academics, etc etc etc.

But you will never, ever, be judged by anyone halfway sensible for what you wear to an open day. It just couldn't ever happen.

I wore whatever I'd worn to work that day (it was pre-covid when I was still in the office every day and I came straight from work), so probably black jeans, trainers, black t shirt and blazer. DH wore jeans, t shirt and trainers. Everyone else was dressed similarly. But it wasn't Eton or Harrow!

Fee paying schools are businesses. You are a potential customer and they need to please you, not you them. So you can pretty much wear what you want and feel comfortable in. Just avoid anything tight or skimpy at boys/mixed schools as you may be shown round by a pair of adolescent boys.

At DC school some of the richest parents (really rich!) turn up in jeans and jumpers. Think of the Queen at Balmoral for example.

I’m also of the mind that essentially you’re the customer and it shouldn’t matter what you wear - neat and clean, comfortable.
If they’re the type to judge your (the parent) clothes, then possibly not the right school for your child.
Good luck!