Horrible phone call with school😭

With a full blown migraine it really isn’t possible to do an exam. I would be sick if I sat up in bed.
OP I had to miss an exam as a teenager (had evidence) and they awarded it on my coursework and other evidence. So don’t panic.

Excellent post from @bronzepig BTW.

This might sound rude but is doing A levels the best path to go down if exam stress is causing this? She can love history but doesn't need to do an A level in it.
Does she have a plan of what she wants to 'do' with her life? There is always different routes to getting somewhere without such intense exam pressure.

OP, this is MN. A school can NEVER be wrong.

I've had extenuating circumstances for my DD at GCSE, it was sorted out, the school initially behaved in exactly the same way. Whatever doctors evidence I had the school said it wasn't enough; its one of the ways they manipulate you - constantly asking for more. They dont read and cant understand it in any case. I had a letter from a forensic consultant and they ignored it (too much evidence maybe!)

Your only mistake was expecting them to be sympathetic or professional, but then if you've been a teacher you're probably be a bit blind to the reality of how appallingly many parents are treated in these circumstances. It makes you feel sick the way they speak to you, I know from bitter experience. Get something in writing to the Head of Year, copy in the exams officer (I did find them usually pretty knowledgeable). Any more problems check if there is a SENDIASS in your area or hop onto special needs board for more advice.

This is important to repeat and repeat again because migraine is an incredibly stigamatised disease.

Your poor daughter, that sounds horrendous. I think the school are being a bit harsh, but I’m sure they’ve only got your daughter’s best interests at heart. I can see how frustrating it must be seeing how unwell your daughter is, and then thinking that people think she’s making it up to get out of an exam.

It’s not the worst thing in the world if she doesn’t get her History GCSE. Sad for her because she did all of that work, but it shouldn’t hold her back. If she wants to pursue History it might be a bit trickier but I’m sure even that could be worked out.

It sounds like a BTEC/ T-Level might be a good idea if she struggles with exams so much. I think there are some exams, but definitely way less than A Level. Some people just aren’t exam people. I’m one of them, and hence I’ve picked a degree course that has very few exams. There are some degree courses with no exams at all so it wouldn’t even stop her from going to university.

If your DD's anxiety is at the root of her illness, then the best thing you can do is remain very calm.

Migraine is a neurological disease - genetic liability is at the "root" of it, not something like anxiety.

Remaining calm and managing anxiety will not magically make susceptibility to migraine go away @amicissimma

No advice but really hope your DD is okay❤💐

I see no reason in the OP to think that the school thought you were lying.

It's the school's job to do their utmost to ensure the pupils get the exam results they deserve. It's the doctor's job to ensure that a patient receives the treatment they need. It's a parent's job to try to balance the conflicting pressures on their children.

You DD is not well enough to take an exam. You called the school and informed them. They did their best to ensure you knew the implications and that your DD is definitely unwell. There are DCs up and down the country missing exams every day because of illness. The school told you what they need to present her case to the exam board. The schools take each case to the exam board and in due course the board's decision will come back. They would be wrong to tell you what the outcome would be when they don't know for sure.

If your DD's anxiety is at the root of her illness, then the best thing you can do is remain very calm. Getting upset and accusing the school of 'guilt tripping' when they were doing their best for her is not going to help. Assure her she is not the only one missing an exam today and that you and the school will provide everything the exam board need when considering her case.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow - phoned again and ask to be put through to the Exams Officer; teachers or reception teams aren't always sighted on the various protocols in placed. In this case you need the schools Exams Officer they will in the authoritative position to advise you. Good luck

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Book her into see one of the doctors here: www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk/

Considered to be the best centre for migraine/headache treatment in Europe. They do online appointments and really know what they're doing.

GPs & even neurologists are in general absolutely terrible at managing migraine.

l understand that the school need to weed out the ones who might be malingering. But she’s not one of them.

I really don't think school is disbelieving that she is ill, just trying to figure out something for her best interest for long term if they could, tbh. It's not the school that have consequences of not sitting exam, after all.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Your poor daughter I’ve suffered from migraines since age four. Had nerve blocks every medication under the sun and they work for a bit then stop.

The idiots here saying she should have gone in are as ignorant as the school. Migraines are not a ‘headache’ they are a recognised disability. I legally cannot drive during a migraine attack due to it impairing my decision making, reflexes and vision.

Call the migraine association and find out your rights under the disability act. Give her a hug from this fellow migraine sufferer.

Also if sumatriptan isn’t effective ask your gp to try her on the nasel spray zomig. This drug is very good. Also full fat Coke when they come on and during an attack does wonders.

True. I started with immigran, then Sumatriptan and finally Maxalt melts which worked far better. Maybe ask the GP about that, OP? I also found the format far easier and more pleasant to use meaning I was more likely to take a dose at the earliest sign.

I've been in this situation and had to sit my GCSE maths at home with a teacher present. this was the aftermath of a migraine, not the migraine itself. doing anything with a migraine can be impossible. if you get an aura, you can't even see and may have aphasia (inability to find words). I get go numb down my right side so I can't even write or type. there's no way you can sit an exam. the school handled this badly - the kid is sick and can't do the exam. end of. the wheedling, guilt-tripping response is inappropriate. the school are doing what's best for them - get all the students to do the exams on the day and minimise work and complications for them. they are not doing what's best for your daughter. you do what's best for your daughter and don't worry about it. you have medical evidence so the exam board should see that it is a legitimate extenuating circumstance. at least at uni level (where I work), a doctor's note is always accepted so I don't think you have much to worry about.

there's lots of medications to try. also, magnesium, q10 and one of the B vitamins is supposed shorten duration, pain and frequency (I've never tried it as - hurrah! perimenopause has reduced them massively). consider food intolerances: sulphites are triggers for me (not chocolate, cheese or citrus fruit though) as well as sunlight (you can buy special sunglasses for this). good luck to you both. migraines are awful.

You are projecting your (understandable) worries about your DD onto this conversation with the school and it is a total waste of energy which should be focused on ensuring that special consideration is applied. You need to calm down and speak to the examinations officer.

I think the person at the school was just doing her job and making sure that you know that medical evidence is required.

What the exam board will want to see is not that she has a general medical condition (the extensive letter) but actual medical evidence that she is ill today. And that means you contacting the doctor today to get that.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I have chronic migraine (defined as having symptoms more than 15 days a month), and have been affected since I was a kid. You have my sympathies

School will take their lead from you. Stop saying "stress migraine", or mentioning the anxiety. If they think it's MH problem, then they will be doing their best to encourage her in.

You need to speak to proper specialists - the national migraine centre and the migraine trust, and keep repeating "it is a disability, unfortunately she's too ill to come in." This is manageable with proper support but you have to be really firm with people when it comes to migraine unfortunately.

Whatever you do don’t show her that you’re upset and drag her into the argument, it will make it a lot worse for her. Not saying you are, but it’s easy to forget in the heat of the moment. Plan something really fun after the exam that she can look forward to.

There are plenty of students who would try and get out of an exam and parents who would support them. Unless the person you were speaking to knows your daughter well, what do you expect

It is not ok for schools to assume everyone is lying!

I am fortunate not to have ever had a migraine... but I'm pretty sure one doesn't need to have particularly great empathetic qualities to understand that some people get something a bit like headaches but MASSIVELY worse, and when they do they really can't do much at all. I don't get how the school don't understand this

or indeed why some MNers cannot accept that migraine is not just a headache

I think you are right OP and as a pp said, the schools have protocols to follow with the exam board.

It's fine for them to say "can she really not come in because we don't know how the exam board will treat her case" and then accept you saying "no she is lying down in great pain in a dark room" without implying you are lying.

Hopefully she did well on her first exam and the mark will be adjusted in accordance with that. I hope she recovers quickly and is ok to do her other exams. And don't worry about the A level, not sure if she is staying at the same place to do A levels, but any sixth form should make allowances if the mark isn't as high as it should be to do A level (eg if they require a 7 and she gets a 6) - and if they don't, I'd look for another sixth form.

Different triptans work for different people and it can be a process of trial and error to find the right one. If sumatriptan isn't working for her then ask the GP to prescribe another one.