Horrible phone call with school😭

Some 20 years ago I took my A level German as an adult after 7 years of evening classes.

Worst migraine of my entire life and I’m now in my 50s with some real stinkers along the way. They’re so debilitating. Your daughter has my absolute sympathy OP. I used to drag myself to exams with horrendous hay fever but the migraine was on a whole other level.

As my username implies, I’m deaf, so it was a lot of hard work and the exam board weren’t very willing to make adjustments which made for a stressful situation all round (I think it’s easier if you have a school behind you as they’re more able to advocate and put a plan in place).

The most they would agree to was my tutor, with whom I was most familiar, doing the oral and comprehension elements so at least I could lipread someone familiar, with an invigilator supervising. (Otherwise, it would’ve been a test of how well I could lipread German, not how well I understood and interpret the actual words and respond accordingly - with an unfamiliar speaker I might not have lipread them at all or very well even though I might actually have understood the words spoken if I could lipread them!)

The stress contributed to the most horrendous migraine ever on the day, which got progressively worse. I was so ill I had to ask for a time out to be sick and then complete the exam. I could barely even see as my vision goes grainy when it’s as bad as that.

I think I did bloody well to get a B in the circumstances - I’d been slated for an A. I don’t think I got any adjustments for the illness on the day, but the adult education college gave me the prize that year for the star languages pupil as they recognised the sheer effort I’d put in!

You’d think the school would be more accommodating in this day and age. ‘Can’t she come in for the hour?’ forsooth!

Anyone here who is saying can you just get her to go in has obviously never had a severe migraine.
The pain in your head is so intense It feels like your brain could actually explode and you are so beside yourself with pain that you don’t know what to do.
You can hardly move or speak or think.
The absolute best you can hope for us sleep but imagine trying to get to sleep whilst someone slowly drills into your skull. It’s that bad.
OP the school are just trying to get her in as I imagine they have had other instances of kids not going in for an exam for not a good reason so they just have to check.
You can get this sorted for your daughter with CBT for anxiety and there are some very strong but good medications to take to help too but it is sometimes a long road to get the good medications supplied.

Obviously she can't go in for any exams at the moment. Anyone who has suffered severe migraine will know this. Unfortunately some people still compare a bad migraine with a headache and think a couple of paracetamol and you can carry on. Some of her teachers might think this.I used to get migraines and going to bed with medication and waiting for it to subside was the best thing I could do. If I couldn't, the migraine would get worse until I had to go to bed. Afterwards I felt like a wrung out rag. I hope your daughter gets good medical help. For today, tell her you love her and reassure her that the exam situation will be sorted out later. I was a teacher and know that exams are not the be all and end all.

I had my first migraine during a GCSE exam many years ago. I remember it vividly, I put my hand up to go to the loo because I couldn’t see properly, horrendous aura, stood up and immediately threw up everywhere.

Your daughter has my understanding and sympathy. Migraines are a bastard and if you’ve never experienced one it’s hard to understand it isn’t ‘like a headache”.

There are much much easier ways of getting exam access arrangements in place than an EHCP. Not saying it isn't appropriate for the OP's daughter but there are easier routes to try first.

So sorry to hear this OP. I hope your DD feels better soon. If she is looking to do A levels I'd get an EHCP in place first, then she is legally entitled to special exam concessions like a small room, breaks etc, which may lessen her anxiety. My DD suffers from severe anxiety too, she ended up having a breakdown at A levels & was subsequently diagnosed ASD. Too little too late for her, but you can get your DD assessed ASAP privately & exam concessions in place. Tbh I'd probably be steering her towards something other than A levels though as the daily pressure ramps up tenfold in comparison to GCSEs.

@Dibbydoos

I would strongly recommend hypnosis and CBT. Medication is not the way to go, illnesses of the mind typically need mind work not chemicals.

Gosh.

Medications can be lifechanging and lifesaving for "illnesses of the mind" like depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, anorexia nervosa etc.

Migraine is not a psychiatric condition. It is a neurological and vascualar disorder. There is no robust evidence CBT nor hyponotherapy are effective. Would you be suggesting this for epilepsy?

This thread is like going back about 30 years!

Sadly this is true. I’ve seen a student who was in a car accident (quite a significant one) didn’t attend exam and they still refused her reason and evidence. Though usually they are understanding and will accept other evidence

it’s a horrid situation. I understand op why she can’t do it but I think the school was just concerned because they can’t overrule an exam board either

My son was held by a knife to his throat in a robbery at our house immediately before his gcses. He took all of his exams. He passed 5. He is super bright bur was clearly badly affected and sadly, I realised too late he missed his gcse English by 3 points otherwise I'd have appealed. The school did nothing. That's one of the UKs top Outstanding schools for you!

Your daughter, OP will probably need to resit unless you find an alternative way for her to gain qualifications like Get Skilled. I would strongly recommend hypnosis and CBT. Medication is not the way to go, illnesses of the mind typically need mind work not chemicals. Good luck to her x

I forgot to mention what worked. I had horrible visual migraines where I would see zig zag lines and then later the migraine came on fully.

CBT, meditation, therapy, journaling, venlafaxine, telmisartan Got rid of the anxiety and migraines.

I'm old though. The GP might have something that works in the same way for teens.

Poor girl. I was very poorly during my GCSEs and still remember both how much it sucked, and the kindness of my parents. You are doing a great thing for her

@TriceratopsRocks it did nothing for me either. While I'm wary of listing my full protocol here because what is right for me as an adult probably wouldn't be for any of the children mentioned on the thread, I can say I now take two preventers for migraine, and rizatriptan as my main reliever (having tried multiple others). I have other conditions so my situation is unusually complicated, but seeing a proper specialist has been life changing for me in terms of reduced pain and is what I would now recommend to anyone with more than occasional migraine x

@Artwodeetoo after 3 decades surely you must realise some dc do struggle with stress related health problems.

OP your dd is only 16, reassure her that she has plenty of opportunities ahead to do her exams.
An extra year will not matter.

@bronzepig yes, absolutely agree with you! I would be lost without the cocktail of meds I take as treatment now, both to prevent and relieve. And plenty of them are okay for paeds. Red listing is a very sensible practice but does mean parents have to be proactive in getting children to a consultant if that's what is blocking full access to some meds.

Your posts are great, btw, bronzepig :)

Pizotifen is quite an outdated med - I was on that in the 90s and my migraine specialist (who is one of the best in the country) has been very sniffy about it.

This is interesting. I also have a 15 year old DD who was diagnosed with stress related migraines by our GP at age 8 or 9. She also has ASD. She has been on pizotifen on and off since then, as it's the only thing ever offered. She's currently not taking anything because she says the Pizotifen doesn't make any difference. Her migraines do seem to have lessened in severity though, and she currently has them less often, however her anxiety has definitely increased massively over the past year. Having read this thread, if they worsen again I'll ask for something else, or a referral. Last time she saw the GP about her migraines was over a year ago, and although I asked about alternatives, all they did was tell her to double the Pizotifen dose, which didn't help at all. Like OP's DD, she doesn't get them in the school holidays. She is currently on part time school hours because she can't cope with full time school, so she is missing so much. We have another year till GCSEs and I'm hoping that a separate referal for anti anxiety/anti depressant meds will help enough to get her through them.

To be honest with you if you water off a ducks back with the school made any comments like that to me about my child I don’t know maybe it’s because I’ve had to deal with them for a very long time but I just nodded and smiled and then did whatever the fuck I wanted in my child’s best interests because you have to live with the kids and the consequences for a lot longer than they do.

You’ve clearly never had a migraine.

I’m with you OP. You cannot take someone with a severe migraine anywhere, much less to an exam. My DB attempted his O level English Language paper with a bad migraine - for some reason in those days it seems it was only one paper. He had to leave early to vomit, and got no grade or maybe F (can’t remember now). Had a chance to resit it in his Year 12 and got a B.

Hopefully once you’ve got the migraines under control it won’t be a problem for further exams at A level and beyond. Managing triggers with a migraine diary will help - many triggers may need manageable whether that is stress, lack of sleep, too much screen use, changes in blood sugar, dehydration, bad PMT or sudden changes in the weather (air pressure).

I’m sorry the school didn’t seem sympathetic, a lot of people just equate migraine with headache and don’t understand the severity of the problem when you have a bad attack. Just calmly stand your ground and keep saying what you’re saying to them.

Yes and other things like magnesium/riboflavin, taking an anti-emetic along with acute medication x

You are taking your understandable upset at the situation, out on the school.

They were suggesting solutions, not disbelieving you. You just needed to continue saying not possible.

As a fellow migraine sufferer, they are fucking ridiculous. I can't see when I have migraine. Let alone actually read anything.