Horrible phone call with school😭

Everyone's experiences are valid; schools, when put on the spot, will probably react in a way that would attempt to minimize the departure from their norm; and the recommendations about specialists will be helpful for the girl's condition down the line, but...

I don't think any amount of magnesium, painkillers, vitamin B, beta blockers, meditation, cold flannels, whatever, can help sufficiently quickly, in this particular situation, in a time window of a week or 2. The DD is taking medication and the OP has said it's not that straightforward, as she is under 16, so too much experimentation with different things won't be possible. She has several letters regarding mitigating circumstances from her doctor, which the school has been given ahead of the exams with clear alerts that there is a problem.

There is only so much the school can do for helping with the environment of exam conditions, but it won't stop the girl being too ill to come into school, even for an hour, as it's nothing at all to do with her condition as it presents itself this week and that day. If she could have done something to get to 'functional' (as she'd had to for the other exams), then I'm sure she would have. There's no deception here, it's a pain to go to the exam board and have to try an alternative plan that probably won't be offered to you very supportively (if there is one), but give your energies to that, to start with, and be prepared to consider things like this instead if she is set on going through an exam - but in a different year: online-learning-college.com/knowledge-hub/gcses/booking-gcses-as-a-private-candidate/

OP, I wonder if the rise in anxiety among students over these kind of exams is due to the stress laid upon them. When I listen to posters here, you'd think that these exams would make or break a life. That if they can't take them or do poorly, their lives with be ruined.

Well, they are still children with only a little bit of life-experience of their own. How are they to know that not being able to take an exam or failing them is not the end of the world? It's only a brief moment in time, yet their whole career depends on the outcome of these exams?

There has got to be a better way to go about this. These attitudes and stress-levels put on children and young adults are unsustainable.

Can she take Naproxen? My ed is on day 8 of the worse migraine she has ever had and her gp prescribed that for her as the Sumatriptan wasn't helping at all. The Naproxen really has helped relieve the pressure and the past couple of days have been a bit better.

That’s the response I’d expect tbh.
of course they’re going to try and encourage you to bring her in for her exam.
my daughter has complex disabilities and even when she can barely walk on some days she still has to attend school by law.
I know it’s frustrating but there’s no free passes for people who have illness or disability.
schools will always exhaust every method to get your child in to learn or test that’s just the way it is.

Op I don't think it's ASD, every one automatically assumes ASD but it's likely to be a stress disorder about any little thing.

Schools to make such a massive deal out of GCSEs and it puts a huge amount of stress on students. They make out its the be all and end all when actually lots of students will re take them again during A levels any way.

I know your DD at the moment won't beable to see it that way. Get tough with the school if you have to. Your doing the best thing for your daughter.

The school and people on here saying she should go in clearly have no idea of how Ill a migraine can make you feel.

Hi, OP -

I have only read your posts so I hope I am not repeating anyone. But I know a lot about three things going on here.

1. Migraines are hell and I am so sorry for what your DD is going through. I have migraines, and Topiramate changed my life. I know it approved for children for seizures. I simply don’t know about migraines. To minimise side effects, I worked up to my current (large) dose very slowly, I think at about one quarter of the recommended speed. And I split my daily dose into three rather than two. But I am not a large person, and the only side effect I have is that fizzy drinks have a funny, unappealing taste. Well worth it! I was also referred to a Migraine Centre at a large NHS Hospital and put on a second med with the T for a couple of years. At the first appointment the consultant bedazzled me with the treatment arsenal. Perhaps your DD needs such a referral?
2. I have sat on a number of University Mitigating Circumstances Panels and while I would hope that with proper documentation your DD will be excused - it is the only civilised outcome - one can never guarantee what will happen. I don’t mean to alarm you, because it should all work out, but I think that phone call was likely an attempt to look out for your DD. I don’t see it as a reason for anger.
3. I hope you can start planning ahead now, because I think you will be needing to establish habits to help your DD through her A levels and, if she chooses to go, through the university years. Migraine is a misunderstood condition. We need to be proactive in doing the best we can for ourselves. That is especially difficult when you are first away from home so the next two years are really important. Best wishes

Lots of lucky people have never experienced a migraine here!

Agree totally.

I envy people so much who say ''I never get headaches!''

They absolutely cannot begin to understand that under the grip of a really bad pounding Migraine, it's hard to even walk a couple of steps.

Migraine sufferers are also more likely to suffer motion sickness.

GCSE’s are such a waste of time. Universities don’t even look at them. Don’t worry about it. Her mental health and stress levels are far more important. She will feel the love and support from you - that will last a lifetime.

@oakleaffy absolutely correct about the absorption issues related to migraine! It's another reason why some people do better with non traditional forms of administering their triptan (eg nasal spray or subcutaneous injection).

I have gastroparesis too, which is a complicating factor.

Migraine as a diagnosis refers to the mechanism and the syndrome rather than just the intensity of the pain, which is part of the reason why it doesn't only refer to absolutely excruciatingly awful headache pain. (There are other causes of very severe headache pain, too.)

As someone with a diagnosis of severe chronic migraine, I've been told that it is specifically the same basic causality giving me the day to day headache pain, which isn't always as bad as the excruciating pain most commonly associated with the 'migraine' label. The doctor who told me this is a world renowned expert and researcher, working at one of the foremost hospitals with a speciality in these issues, so I do believe him! Hence why I have taken exams with ongoing migraine: I had chronic migraine symptoms as a constant background. I was never free of them. For some chronic migraine patients that is how it presents, and it's not the same as people who have migraines from time to time where the pain is incredibly severe, and different from any other pain they suffer.

I think you're being very unfair to the school, especially as you understand the system. They have done what they are supposed to do and will make application for Special Consideration in the usual way, all their messages mean is that they are making sure all avenues have been addressed, they don't seem to suggest that SC will not be applied.

My {Female} GP says for her an anti~nauseant {Prescribed} and ''The cheapest Tesco soluble aspirin'' are her ''Go~to'' treatment for her migraines.

She swears by them.
But taking them at first sign of the Aura is crucial, as the digestive tract doesn't absorb as well once the migraine is under way with it's ''Boom Boom Boom'' pain that gallops in like a thundering Cavalry.

I do sympathise very much with your Daughter.
As a child, I'd often be prostrated at school with sick headaches, lying in the medical room , under a scratchy grey blanket.

{Even at Junior school}

We had a lovely young man student teacher come in, and he too had sick headaches, bless him.
He too was in the medical room with the sick bucket..

Stress/excitement plays a huge part in my migraines, even a ''Fun'' thing like a party or a riding holiday could set them off.

I never found effective drugs, and once the ''B@stard'' has bedded in, {EG, if you wake up with one} no drugs shift it, even morphine.

Maybe yoga or relaxation might help your DD as well as eating enough.
Hunger can be a trigger for some people, too.

Best wishes.

Migraines are grim, the ''Blinding'' part tends to last a relatively short time,{under 40 mins} as the vision is absolutely obscured with the scintillations and shimmering of the 'Aura'.
One can still ''See'' these visuals with closed eyes.

When the Aura clears, the pain begins.

The pain and nausea/vomiting can be stalled or ameliorated in some cases by taking meds the second the first tiny ''Dazzle'' appears.

I have done two exams with a migraine..Was physically sick afterwards though.
Passed one, not the Maths paper though, had to redo that.

Best to show up, but I sympathise.

Finding the right drugs is difficult. Very hit and miss.

Stress is a massive trigger for some people.

Migraines are horrific things.

I just want to correct something which keeps being repeated on here. You can't resit GCSES - only English and maths in November. Other subjects can, theoretically, be 'resat' but only in the next wave of GCSE exams a full year later.

A lot of students and parents do seem oblivious to tis.

OP you have the GP note now and therefore school will process the absence and medical evidence and the exam board will apply this year's absence policies.

Going forward, there needs to be proper discussion with a range of professionals about how she manages anxiety, and her migraines : it seems that her anxiety is worse surrounding the subjects she treasures most? If she is to do A Levels, that needs strategies and mitigations in place to help her.

I love the idea that schizophrenics just need CBT not medication... we would have a lot of dead scizopherenic if they took that advice.

Anti-pychotic medications are absoloutly needed and deamed a critical and emergancy supply medication in the UK meaning a person can present to A&E or other drug carrying medical facilities and get an emergency refill immediately (pretty much the only other drug deamed as highly important is Insulin).

I can't remember my own name during migraines. I don't get pain but get visual auras, complete confusion and pins and needles travelling from one side of my body to another. There's no way on earth I could do an exam in the middle of a migraine.

Sorry the school handled the call badly. She couldn't go in, clearly.

I used to get horrific migraines (plus nosebleeds) so you have my full sympathy. Please don't panic! In the big scheme of things, how important is this particular GCSE?Is your DD planning on taking History at A-level? Does the school insist that pupils have the subject GCSE before they can progress? If yes, can she resit in school or elsewhere?
Your only job right now is to look after her and tell her it'll work out, because it will. It might need some creative thinking but her school will have dealt with exam-time medical issues and emergencies.
My saving grace was being referred to a paediatric neorologist. The Migraine Trust or the National Migraine Centre [https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk] may be able to help, if you're not already in contact with them.

Theres apparently different levels of migrains.

I got ones as a kid (sound like what OP is discribing) where crippling and rendered me complely non functional. My mam had to adapt the house to be sesnsory deprivation because even an led standby light had me screaming in pain like a drill through the eye and into the brain.

I then laughed a few years ago when a friend was discribing her migraine, Im like 'thats not a migraine just a standard headache, I get them all the time' (nothing like I had as a kid). They got out the doctors note (bit excessive honestly) and pulled up the NHS migrains info and it turns out they also class as 'migraine' which is in sane because apart from the vision interferance they are nothing like the crippling agony I had as a kid, just a mild irratation really.

So migrains can run the gauntle from completely debilitating to just a mild headache with vision issues.

Turns out I had an undiagnosed eye sight problem (eyes dont focus together) due to my brain damage and thats why I get them.

Ive mercifully only had one migraine. I was out of action and spend 3 days lying in a dark room. Its horrendous.

You mentioned earlier that she takes propranolol for anxiety, is that a regular dose or something she just takes as needed? It can be used as a migraine preventative, although generally in a higher dose than for anxiety, so that potentially may be another option?

Only migraine sufferers or those witness to it will understand how absolutely impossible an exam would be during an attack.
I lose 40/50% of my vision. Couldn’t see the paper for a start. I once had to wait 3 hours for someone to collect me from a motorway service station because I had an attack mid journey.

The GCSE belongs to your DD not the school so I’m sure you would do anything possible to get her there were she able.
This is about them & their stats which is why I also would be upset. Not an ounce of sympathy.

Sorry to your DD.