Horrible phone call with school😭

Schools hear so many tall stories that when for once someone is telling the truth the processes that they are obliged to follow will seem harsh.

Hope your DD gets well soon, and as someone noted, education is lifelong and exams can be sat again.

You have to remember OP that the school will deal with these types of medical/exams issues all the time. She will not be the only one not sitting her exams today due to stress.

What you are viewing as them insinuating that you and your daughter are lying- is them trying to make sure they have done all that is possible to get their student who has been working all year in preparation for her exams, in school. They will know she is hard working and diligent and they will want the best for her.

They can maybe potentially see too, that if the exams can cause this much anxiety then nothing will change for the next set of exams and may feel they are helping to try and break the anxiety cycle she could be setting herself up for

On a different note. Do what you can to not add more stress. Please give heat therapy for her neck and forehead, it can help relieve tension which can exasperate migraines or run along with migraines.

You’ve done the right thing OP, and I understand your frustration. If your daughter could take medication or ‘come in for an hour’ you wouldn’t have been getting doctors’ letters and phoning the school to say she couldn’t. A few people here seem to be struggling with that too.
You haven’t said whether you’re asking for special consideration but it looks like worst case scenario is your daughter doesn’t get her history GCSE…is that the end of the world?

When GCSEs and A-Levels were reformed by Michael Gove, numerous people & organisations warned during the consultation that the total reliance on end-of-course exams would lead to some students with health or family issues at exam time either, at best, losing a year or else having their futures destroyed. We couldn't have predicted the Covid pandemic then (although it had been recognised for many, many years that a devastating pandemic was inevitably going to occur at some time), but that was the event that showed most clearly how precarious our school and qualifications system is. These smaller-scale effects on individual students get ignored.

That's rubbish. I'm also a secondary school teacher with almost 30 years experience. Schools don't gets penalised. Genuine sickness (the case here) does NOT bring average results down, nor does it reflect on the teacher.

OP, as you know, if your DD has sat one of the papers, it will be graded and she will get the grade based on papers she has sat. The school has to be seen to be doing the correct things, hence the ridiculous questions. However, you might consider contacting the GP and getting it put on your DD's medical records that she was suffering badly today, just in case evidence from the GP is needed. All the best to both of you.

I think maybe you are stressed yourself here op which is why you are reacting as you are. I’d say take a few deep breaths, try to calm down, and then realise this will be sorted, you have the evidence to support. I think I’d focus now on how to move forward, if she can’t do exams then how will she be assessed.

That is a really awful situation. Hope your dd is feeling better soon.

From the schools point of view they can't see her, some people say migraine when they mean headache. So in your circumstances i completely understand your frustrations. But i also don't blame the school for the conversation they had.

I get it too op. I’m a migraine sufferer and a parent with a DD in the midst of GCSEs

I’ve had migraines where for a brief moment you feel like you want to die it’s so bad. No way could you do an exam.

Ultimately it won’t matter. She may get a grade or she can resit and life will move on. What she’ll remember is your care and support.

It's not that they think she is malingering, it's just that missing a GCSE exam is pretty serious and they need to be sure there is really no alternative (including strong painkillers). It is also important because the migraines are caused by stress and sometimes avoiding the thing that stressed you can lead to a cycle of avoidance. I don't think they are unreasonable to ask questions around this.

It's a horrible situation for you but I would guess some of your anger is more about knowing missing a state exam is not ideal than the school's response.

The greatest life lesson I have ever learnt and would have almost saved my life between 16-18 was that education is lifelong and if it doesn't get completed in school it is not the end of the world, in fact it's no big deal.

She's too ill? She can resit. She flunks it? She can resit.

No exam is worth dragging her too that is further going to exacerbate her health concerns to this degree. Would they insist she come in and write an exam by hand with a broken wrist? No, they would make allowances.

At seventeen I had lost my Father, had a terminally ill mother for whom I was a carer, was holding down a job on the weekend, college during the week and made to feel that if I failed my exams I could write my life off. This resulted in a lifelong battle with mental health issues, alcohol abuse and self harm.

It's an exam, it really, really doesn't matter. She can resit it. Keep her home.

But doesn’t she need a medical certificate to say she was too ill to attend today to get the special consideration?

It all very well railing against the school, but that’s not going to get your DD very far if she becomes the first person you know in 26 years not to get special consideration because you’ve decided the evidence the exam board will need isn’t necessary.

My DD came off her horse last Sunday and has subsequently had to miss all of her GCSE's last week and this. She had 3 days in hospital and has to wear a neck brace still intermittently. Because she has sat at least one exam in each subject she has missed she will be given assessment grades. The school exam officer explained this was actually a better option than special consideration as the death of a parent only warrants a 5% leeway so injury/illness is hardly anything.

Tbh though this is on top of me having a diabetic hypo my DH and DD spent 90 minutes getting me out of and the death of my MIL 3 days before the accident so if she passes anything it'll be a miracle!

I hope your DD is soon feeling better @ArseInTheCoOpWindow , there's been so much pressure this year on being the first post covid exam takers. It's amazing what a cool dark room can do and a decent amount of sleep. Only 2 more exam days to get through and then we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Schools get penalised when dc don’t show up. It’s massively unfair but no shows bring their average down hugely and reflects on the teacher - the numbers are presented with no context.

school is trying to ensure they’ve done all they can; you’ve made a call about your dc. No one is wrong. You need to be less sensitive.

In university we have a "fit to sit" policy with exams. By sending her in you are basically saying she's fit to sit the exam, which she's not. You did the right thing. Get the doctors evidence and let them know her special circumstances and ask what adjustments can be put in place. Whoever called you from the school sounds like a dickhead.

But do you also have an exam resit session, in a few months time? Most universities do, which is world apart from GCSE where not there often = fail. No second chances in school.

The school were only following protocol.
They want your child to have every opportunity to sit her exams and have a good outcome.
It is really is down to her whether she can sit the exam or not.
In the larger scale of things she will lose out.
What exactly did you want the school to do/say?

"l was a secondary teacher for 26 years. I’ve never known special consideration not be applied.

Have the school said they won't apply for special consideration? Or just that they can't guarantee the outcome?"

I have. I've worked in FE for most of my 25 year career, so I have hundreds of exam students every year (it's all I teach) and I would say exam boards can be very inconsistent in what they give special consideration for. I've seen some allow it because a student had piles (couldn't sit down) but in another case, one was refused when the doctor verified the student had an ongoing illness but because the student hadn't seen the doctor on the day of the exam, the exam board wouldn't give it. Some require the doctor to have seen the patient to verify the illness, others only require the doctor to say the student had the illness and they reported being affected by it on the day of the exam.

It can be hit and miss

In university we have a "fit to sit" policy with exams. By sending her in you are basically saying she's fit to sit the exam, which she's not. You did the right thing. Get the doctors evidence and let them know her special circumstances and ask what adjustments can be put in place. Whoever called you from the school sounds like a dickhead.

The poor kid! I understand her pain and that of being accused of malingering because of migraines. She is extremely young. I do hope you get her referred to a specialist for treatment. I have tiny scars scattered all through my brain because I didn’t get onto the right treatment.

It sounds to me like the school are just trying to get her to come and do her exam which is totally reasonable. They haven't said anything they shouldn't have done.
I'm sorry your daughter isn't well but the school have done the right thing.

My dd has bad anxiety and severe stress

I worked in schools and the amount of parents saying their kids have this ''severely'' is the problem op. It diminishes the genuine cases.

Though I suppose if she dragged herself into the hall then threw up everywhere it might get her message across...

But how would taking her dd in to the exam help, when, presumably, her dd can't sit up or open her eyes to any light let alone walk into the exam room?

I can't see the school has done anything wrong here. Of course it is in her best interest to sit the exam. From what you've written I can't see any evidence of the school saying you lied.

If she's had the worst migraine ever after starting meds, keep an eye on it. I was given amitriptyline for migraines and had a reaction to it, I've never known pain like it, I ended up collapsing and being taking in via A&E