Horrible phone call with school😭

I am fortunate not to have ever had a migraine... but I'm pretty sure one doesn't need to have particularly great empathetic qualities to understand that some people get something a bit like headaches but MASSIVELY worse, and when they do they really can't do much at all. I don't get how the school don't understand this.

Sumatriptan didn't work at all for me btw.

I suffer with migraines and I understand that there is absolutely no way your dd would be able to do an exam while she’s having one. I could barely walk to the bathroom to be sick when I’m at my worst. I understand where the school are coming from though, obviously they don’t want her to miss it. I’ve not got to the end of the thread yet but if they’re brought on by stress you’re both going to have to find a solution/look for relaxation strategies for the long term. It’ll make life very difficult otherwise.

Sadly they’re just trying to do their job and make sure she has the best chance possible. If she’s hard working they won’t want her to be disadvantaged by not sitting her exam. Sounds like she’s having a hard time.. but also it’s their job to push to make sure you’re doing everything you can to get her into school.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I am amazed that someone who used to be a secondary teacher would write this "I think I’m angry at the fact they seemed she could ‘just come in for the hour’ well, doh obviously she would be in if she could have been. She’s so upset at missing it."

There are plenty of students who would try and get out of an exam and parents who would support them. Unless the person you were speaking to knows your daughter well, what do you expect?

That's really rubbish and my sympathies go out to her.

I assume the nasal spray you were talking about was a triptan? If so, has she tried different ones? Some of them do take a while to work. Mine (Zomig) take 1-2hrs to fully work which is annoying.

OP, I can't see the post now but did you say she usually goes into a darkened room? This is normal for most migraine sufferers, but have she considered that what she needs is the opposite? It won't make the migraine go away, but if she hasn't tried it already, I would recommend that she tries sitting in your garden if you have one, even if she has to cover her eyes. If she has to be in her bedroom, I would recommend opening the window to make sure there's plenty of fresh air circulating. Again, these are only mild therapeutic things but it's worth a try to take the edge off.

It sounds to me like the school are just doing what you're doing - ignoring the fact that she cannot come and do her exam, which is totally unreasonable.

OP.

School should send you a 'form 14' to complete alongside sending in the medical evidence (which you have).

They will then apply for special consideration.

I'm an EO and this is all very normal (as you will know from teaching).

If that was the EO you spoke to, they perhaps could have worded it differently. If it was attendance officer or reception, ignore them and email or call the EO directly.

For info though, the JCQ guidelines are that it is always better for a child to sit and exam if possible. So that might be what they were getting at.

If you want more info, Google JCQ Ice 2022 and you can read the guidelines for sickness for this year's exams. It's all open documentation.

I completely understand why you're worried about your daughter and of course she can't sit an exam with a severe migraine, poor kid.

However, I think maybe your stress and worry over her situation might be making you a little over-sensitive to the school's comments. I know they've had all the doctor's letters etc, but they have hundreds of pupils and I'm guessing that as a matter of routine they always try to push for a student to sit an exam if they think there is the tiniest chance that it might be viable. You're obviously a responsible parent doing the best thing for your daughter and you know that she is too ill to manage it, but they will also take calls every year from parents who want to excuse their child from exams because they've got a bit of a sniffle or are feeling a bit tired, so they have to question parents as far as they can - and, of course, make them aware of the need to provide a doctor's note and any caveats about the possible consequences from the exam board etc. I don't think it's at all the case that they're accusing your child of malingering. She is your DD so of course you are protective of her and of course you know everything about her medical history etc and probably know every letter and every appointment that's been sent and received to the school off the top of your head, but the school have hundreds of pupils with a whole range of issues and needs so they won't necessarily immediately remember on the spot the details of your DD's migraine problems.

You, and more importantly your DD, are not going to benefit from you hanging on to your anger and stress over this call, so try to let it go for now if you can and focus on helping your DD stay as calm and quiet as possible so she doesn't pick up on your stress, and then do whatever you need to do re. the requirements of the exam board. Migraines are foul and it's horrible to watch someone suffer with them, so I sympathise hugely with you both, but you gain nothing from getting so worked about the phone conversation.

I had a migraine yesterday, I couldn't see, vomiting, blinding pain. I have meds from the doctors and they knock me out, I couldn't even work. I can't imagine trying to sit a GCSE test like that. Your poor DD.

I think that you are overreacting here.
If your daughter has missed an exam she needs to send in a doctor’s note from the day her exam was due to be taken to send to the exam board. It is at the exam board’s discretion as to whether they accept it or not. Please do not rage at the school they obviously think that they are doing their best for your daughter.

Most people do not understand what a migraine actually means. They think a bad headache. It comes from ignorance.

Unless she has a major desire to become a historian then she doesn't need a GCSE in history.
Has she sat the 'important' exams - English and Maths? If so then she has done what she really needs to do.
Then she never has to do an exam again in her life if she doesn't want to.
Health is more important than exams.

It's not a headache though.....

A migraine means been unable to read, needing to stay in a dark room, no noise. Often accompanied with nausea and/or being sick. My son gets visial disturbances too so he can't see what's in the middle of his eyes. No way he could read.

Absolutely not the same than a very bad headache (plus of course a migraine doesn't just go away whereas a bad headacje eases of with painkiller, even if you need to take codeine for it)

Might be something to consider in the future

migrainetrust.org/news/botox-for-migraine-what-to-expect/

The school hasn't done anything wrong. Despite the medical evidence already submitted then your daughter will also need medical evidence that she could not attend today specifically. If she has already sat a certain percentage of the history exam with that medical evidence the exam board would be able to give her a grade based on her other papers. If they don't have that evidence they can't give her a grade.

If she hasn't sat any of her history papers or hadn't reached the high enough percentage described above perhaps they were suggesting that if at all possible she could make it through today's paper it would give the sufficient for a grade to be awarded.

Please work with them rather than fight them as this will give the best result for your daughter gradeswise. It is not them that set the % or that insist on medical certificates for every day an exam is missed or special extenuating circumstances are applied for but the exam boards as guided by JCQ.

I get why this situation is really upsettng for you and for your dd.

First of all this is new and it can be hard to juggle the pain as well as the worry of what will happen in the future and the anxiety of how people see you (aka how are they judging her, etc...)

The bottom line is that she is ill and she can't go. No discussion after that. The best you can do is to simply reiterate 'No she is too ill for that' at any suggestion.
If she needs a 'note from the GP' for that day, try and get it. It will make it easier for the exam board to decide if she can sit the exam again at the end of next week (if he is able to). If she isn't, then it's just ONE exam. She had done all the others and this is great. Congratulate her on having managed those.

Remember that anyone telling you she should 'try this and that' or gives you the feleing she is just trying to get away with murder are not your dd. Their reaction says a lot about them and their beliefs about migraines (as well as their lack of knowledge tbh). IT might also be that they think that she sort of managed with the other exams the she ought to manage with that one too. Again that's about them, not about your dd.

Migraines can be linked with stress and anxiety. There is also some good medications available when she finds the right ne for her. She will also need to learn to know what are the warning signs of the migraine so she can take her medication sooner rather than later.
My advice would be to let the GCSE go. What she can do she does and that's great. What she hasnt been able to do, she hasn't. There is nothing to do. It's just the way it is.

Looking forward, she can look at various ways of handling it. The NICE guidelines for migraines is medication (I imagine this is what the GP gave her) but also acupuncture (great in my experience). Fwiw the new NICE guidelines for pain and chronic pain are saying no painkiller but keeping moving, counselling and acupuncture again. So I'd look at all of those too (both beause exercise/moving can help with pain and anxiety and counselling might help her find ways to deal with her exam anxiety too). Acupuncture just because of the pain side of things.

I get very bad migraines and I wouldn't be able to just get up and walk out of the house, then go in a car to school! If people don't get migraines they don't know what they are like or how long they go on for. Some people tend to think of them as just headaches!
I hope your daughter feels better soon. I'm sure the exam board will take this into account.

Migraines can be horrendous and often reading can trigger off another

i suffer with hemiplegic migraines and I can’t function for 48 hours after one

I wish people would realise that migraines aren't a headache you could pop a pill and work through. For me the only tiny relief is lying in a dark room alternating between hot and cold packs across my head. Any movement and I'm usually sick. Even if she managed to crawl into school and sit her exam what would be the point? She wouldn't even be able to read it let alone thought process the questions and answers. Surely there is a way she can re sit this one? Children are poorly and schools should be able to accommodate this. Hope she feels better soon xxx

The school are thinking about her, exam board rules are that schools need to try to get kids to take exams even those in hospital sit them. It's very tough, nobody is doubting that but school cannot pretend that the exam board will take this into consideration, a blinding headache is horrible but most people could still function, yes I get migraines and it's really horrible, I dose up on painkillers and can't even drive because of the flashing but I carry on because I have to, bills don't stop because you have migraines.

It doesn't mean they think you're making it up/exaggerating- if they don't ask the question, then they don't know the answer. They need to make sure that you understand the potential ramifications of her missing the exam. They also have to be honest that they don't know for certain how the exam board will process this particular case (although it sounds like you have the appropriate paperwork).

Try not to take it personally, they will be asking every single parent the exact same questions. And some of those parents will then say "actually, I didn't realise that, it's probably better if we try and get her in, if we dose her with painkillers now then she'll probably make it through one hour OK".

@Bootothegoose

💯 agree with you … at school age, kids are made to feel that their lives are over if they fail or miss an exam! It’s not!!

I suffer vile migraines about 3 times a year, and really sympathise with your poor DC. They are so debilitating.
Please tell her it’s not the end of the world to miss an exam