Boarding School Help

It isn't an odd list at all. You have a selected of strong, all-rounder, academic schools. Saying that, it sounds like your DC is pretty academically able - in which case I would switch Uppingham for Rugby, which has the edge on academics. Note that Rugby, Oundle and the other Midlands schools are popular with Scotland-based families. I'd add Harrow to the list, too.

There are other excellent academic boys' schools - Tonbridge and Sevenoaks - but probably not geographically easy for you.

Size is a big consideration - Oundle and Eton are huge. If your DC likes sports but doesn't excel, he will likely make a higher team at a slightly smaller school such as Rugby.

Strathallan might be worth a visit.

I’m curious as to why your HM has come up with such an England-heavy list. Fettes isn’t the only excellent school in Scotland- Merchiston, Glenalmond, Loretto should all be worth considering and (depending on where in Scotland you are) might reduce the logistical challenges others have identified. Don’t underestimate the benefits of being reasonably close at hand; I’ve done it both ways and promise you both parents and DC are happier if you are able to pop down for matches, concerts and the odd tea. If you are set on the HM’s list the best thing to do is visit as many schools as you can. As one teacher said to me “all these schools are much better than they need to be”- there’s no bad choice here, it’s a question of which school community you want to be part of. The two on your list I know reasonably well are Eton and Winchester. Of course these are both great schools but highly flavoured, so only pursue them if you are clear they are what your DS and you really want in terms of ethos and culture as well as academic prestige. Oundle and Uppingham by reputation are really strong at present but less quirky and self-referential than E and W, and might feel more ‘normal’ as co-Educational. Good luck with your choice, @AviatorMama

Sorry - was responding above to @FinnRussell

There’s so much money available to households that use public schools that it’s inevitable that drugs (particularly coke) will be very present….

Our son is Academic and he wants us to consider the likes of Eton/Winchester but he is equally conscious of the fact that we are a little uncomfortable with such schools

What a shame if your being ‘a little uncomfortable with such schools’ prevents your son from going to schools that he would like to consider.
On the other hand, were he to attend either of those schools, then it wouldn’t be much fun for him if you were complaining about his choice throughout his school career.

Fettes has a bad drug reputation I think. The kids I know from Dollar and Loretto are all lovely!

OP might be looking for something that Scottish full boarding schools cannot provide which is surely why all of us choosing boarding schools opt for something further away. Perhaps the academics elsewhere are better suited to the OP’s child (G’stoun certainly not known for academic excellence but a more holistic approach …) or maybe just offering a broader experience outside of Scotland.

Back to your original quest for questions…. How many in the boarding house? How many resident staff in the boarding house? How many hours are these staff expected to teach etc in addition to their pastoral responsibilities? Do you think the remaining time they have left is adequate to be loco parentis to that many teens? Do you trust them adequately that you are happy for them to take your place for about 60% of the year? Do you think they’ll do as good a job as you will in supporting your child? Your child’s peers will actually most likely have more influence on their experience than anything else but sadly you can’t interview them!!

Seems odd you've given no consideration to any of the Scottish boarding schools other than Fettes. Trekking up and down the country at the start and end of each term, plus exeat weekends sounds dreadful.

Have a look at Dollar Academy, excellent CCF, music and other extra curricular as well as academic.

If you are in Scotland what about Glenalmond ? My friend’s DGS is there and loves it . Or Gordonstoun ?

I think a bit of boarding in year 8 is nice to do but nothing more. Boarding year 7 and 8 will make the transition at senior full boarding a breeze but children arriving at senior are 13, approaching 14 and adapt very quickly. They become very sociable at that stage and many needs start to be met by friends rather than mummy and daddy at that age (day or boarding!). I think experienced senior schools combined with prep heads can get a handle on whether a child is cut out for senior boarding before offering a place. That’s how Oundle offer places anyway - subject to entry exams.

Other boarding things to consider are ratio of overseas to uk nationals (higher in proper boarding schools for obvious reason), whether houses are eat in or central canteen (pros and cons to each), frequency of exeats and how they fit with your expectations. If you choose a school that is not convenient for you to drive to every Saturday and Sunday (weekly) then make sure no pupils are allowed out at weekends on flexi exeats as the boarding houses will empty (no matter what the head says!!) and weekend activities fall apart if pupils can head home as there’s no one left to take part. I cannot stress this enough .

get shown round the schools by pupils on a normal school day and see how you find the school vibe

meet the housemasters of prospective boarding houses. See who you think would gel with your child the best .

Wow, £27k is cheap!

One thing that is quite important is that students get a taste of boarding in prep school, gradually ramping up between Y3 and Y8.

I was looking at Bedales school today. Just being nosy, really. £27,000 per year before you add music, etc. The educational timetable is worlds away from my girls' state offering. School for day pupils finishes at 6.30pm and the boarders keep going until 8.30pm.

One thing stuck out for me, though, about your post. You said that your DS is nearly 10, so it's not hard to imagine him as 13. My girls were all completely different children at 13 than at 10. They go through so much brain development and hormonal shifting during that time.

It is absolutely right that your DS is the one to drive this, assuming you can afford it.

Obviously, there are lots of factors to consider such as academics vs pastoral.

But for screening, look at:

Single sex vs co-ed
Boarding vs day (ie which drives the culture of the school).
Town vs Country
Exeats and ease of getting home.
Rugby vs Soccer
Religious ethos
Sports on offer
SQA vs GCE qualifications, and vocational
CCF
etc etc.

Strange collection of schools!

Distance is one of the most important criteria I think. I would narrow it down by thinking mixed or single sex, and then visit the schools that are left. It all becomes quite clear once you have visited them as some you will love and some you will not like.

Any reason you've not mentioned Strathallan?

Agree that Oundle isn't second rate.It isn't on the map so much in the south east b cause there are options that are easier logistically but people I know in east anglia and the midlands rate it very highly and my DD has a group of friends who went there who are a very sparky and academic crowd.

Agree with others who said it is a weird grouping.

From my prep school days (as a teacher), I would say that Winchester is for the quirky student. Eton - you can't go wrong.

I've never warmed to Fettes from my school days in Edinburgh, but that is 40 years ago. I would say you can't go wrong with Merchiston Castle or Loretto.

Is your DS in a prep school now? Does the headteacher have a good knowledge of boarding schools?

Probably people who don’t actually know it.

We looked at a lot of boarding schools in the midlands. I struggle to think of a more academic proper full boarding school north of the M40.
Uppingham used to be less academic but three years ago they upped their entry requirements. Rugby is comparable to Oundle on many levels. Oakham not much of a boarding school these days and definitely less academic. They offer btec’s for a start whereas every person at Oundle must do at least 11 GCSE’s and select 4 a levels (but one can be dropped down the line).
stowe used to be full boarding but I believe they’ve just chosen to go weekly and it’s also much lower academic entry requirements.
repton in the midlands not a proper full boarding school and hot houses hockey and cricket with many on full scholarships for sport (leaving fee paying pupils to fill the B teams!)

What about Wellington? I’ve just been around it and thought it was amazing; child has however decided not to board. Excellent academics and masses of sports of every type you can imagine. Astonishing facilities (though same for Eton, the only other one on your list I’ve been to), really impressive and very nice kids who showed us around.

I am amazed at people describing Oundle as somehow second rate. It’s not an Uber selective hot house but it is very academic with lots of bright children and great results. It’s quite a big school so plenty of opportunities to find your tribe, lots of extra curricular activities and a good contingent of proper full boarders.

We decided on single sex but Oundle would have been first choice if we wanted co-Ed.

Honestly, the best thing to do is visit all of these schools as each one has a different vibe. It’s kind of like buying a house. You just get the feeling that it’s the right place.

Those are all good and relevant questions, breakdown19 - but I’d be astonished if they’re not all more than adequately addressed in either the prospectus (which I know can be a touch theoretical) or, in considerably more depth, during the course of an Open Day visit.

In my experience schools really do want parents and children to know exactly what they’re signing up to, down to the last detail, because it’s so incredibly disruptive and time consuming to have to deal with the fallout if a pupil finds they don’t like boarding life.

If you look at Oundle then tour Laundimer House. Known as the Scottish house as lots of boys hail from there. Masses go home to Scotland on the train from Peterborough which is 10mins on the school bus that is put on for pupils at all exeats. Oundle v popular for Scots based on excellent train links home.
you need to be an academic type to thrive at Oundle however as it’s academics above all else there - esp STEM which is very popular.
other thoughts -
WinColl transport links not as good as Eton probably as train easier from eton?
rugby Marlborough being other comparable coed boarding schools don’t have such good links from Scotland /Edinburgh . Would make sense to look at schools on the Edin. to London train line.

Sorry I did look at the OP - but hadn't seen that.

These are less for WinColl/Eton where my opinion is more like the others here.
but questions you may want to ask about BOARDING.

I ask about him wanting to board because I wanted to be sure that's what was actually wanted.

Fwiw I am an adult who boarded very very happily (interestingly from Scotland to england 30 years ago from young.
My DC are at state day schools and thriving academically and socially though they lack CCF, rowing and weekend trips to museums en masse.

As the DC reach the ages I was at certain points in my school career when I compare my life then to theirs now, they are definitely happier and more secure and less institutionalised than I was. I developed a coping mechanism that was necessary as you had to always be on your guard as you never knew who you may be sharing a dorm with next term.

I have also worked in a non-academic role in a major boarding school in the past 5 years and would still definitely not want my children to board until sixth form.

What responsibilities will they have in the house?

How many other tutors are there responsible for each house as well as the main head of house? How involved are they?

How much free time outside of co-curricular time is there? What do pupils usually do during this time?

How much external use of the facilities is there? This can be a pain as they are
promised so much access to amazing courts/theatre/pool/climbing wall etc and then the commercial team constantly let it out and pupils barely get a look in.

Is there any kind of a buddy system with older pupils when they arrive in y9?

What kind of house activities are there (my friend is house master and prepared an impromptu pre-exeat BBQ last weekend for all 60 of his house) ?

What kind of activities will they be doing which aren't co curricular?

E.g weekend trips are there? _ the geography will impact this to an extent
How much compulsory chapel etc is there?

Hope this helps-