Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Playing along to delusions - costumes and PE

32 replies

GreenAndSpringy · 09/03/2022 21:26

One of my biggest peeves at Primary School was the expectation that children would be dressed up for a event, particularly World Book Day, AND take part in PE (Physical Education).

I had hoped this ridiculousness would be something the kids could be allowed to evolve out of, but no….

Culture Day!

There’s enormous pressure and expectation for the young people to be ambassadors for their ethnic heritage, and it sits alongside a refusal to acknowledge that many of them can’t just slip into and out of cultural clothing for a PE lesson.

There’s something icky and disrespectful about getting young people to compromise and “play at” cultural representation so that boxes can get ticked. It isn’t “inclusive” at all, some will get to reflect their heritage truthfully whilst others, if they do attempt to participate, end up doing it in a half-arsed and embarrassing way.

Somehow I have to square the circle so that my daughter doesn’t feel let down. Makes me so cross!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
reluctantbrit · 13/03/2022 12:57

DD's school does it and some girls dress in very beautiful clothes from the country they come from. They are proud of it but it's a style of dress you wear normally, not dressing up to stereotypes.

We are Germans and DD was asked by friends if she would wear a Dirndel. Well, we come from the north and a Dirndel is worn in Bavaria, 700km away from DH's hometown. So that was a no as it's not something she identifies with.

Not sure about PE but I would think as you don't have to dress differently you could just skip it and wear your normal uniform like everyone else.

Teachers also participated btw.

NotDonna · 13/03/2022 09:43

Have you mentioned this to the PE department?

sashh · 11/03/2022 11:29

Maybe the PE lesson could be a dance, linked to one or more cultures. I think you can dance in most clothes.

It would link with the day in a way a game of rounders wouldn't.

BTW that is a stunning dress / outfit.

Original poster
GreenAndSpringy · 11/03/2022 10:05

[quote ancientgran]@GreenAndSpringy that's a lovely costume. I bet she was really proud of it.[/quote]
Thank you! The photo shows her reacting to seeing herself in it for the first time, she loved it (just as well, because if she hadn’t there is no way she would have agreed to keep wearing it for the day!)
She has been involved with events and ceremonies growing up that have involved her dressing up, and I have had to learn and re-learn quite a few skills from both sides of the family.

Bringing these experiences to a school and sharing those of others is a real highlight, something that I believe enriches everybody. That’s why it is such a shame when schools don’t really take in what is actually involved and just pay lip service to the concept of a culture sharing day.

An occasion to reflect and celebrate the cultures of a school community deserves more than a casually highlighted date on a calendar.

OP posts:
ancientgran · 11/03/2022 09:28

@GreenAndSpringy that's a lovely costume. I bet she was really proud of it.

ancientgran · 11/03/2022 09:25

@Whatwouldscullydo

I agree about the mixture, my kids would have 4 cultures to pick from, I'm not sure if that would make it easier or harder

It kinda seems a bit like celebrating diversity whilst assuming everyone " sticks to their own" which doesn't that kinda miss what diversity has lead to and that's friendships amd families with all sorts of mixtures/combinations of backgrounds.

I was born in this country , and my dad is half Eastern European. My grandfather married an English woman. I have distant Eastern European relatives.

I wonder what kids with mixtures of backgrounds would do.

If my kids were at the age where I had to sort out the costume they'd have whichever one I found easiest to provide.
Original poster
GreenAndSpringy · 11/03/2022 08:33

@Camdenish

That’s a fantastic costume Green, beautiful. She could wear trainers with that and go skateboarding surely?
😆😆🤣
OP posts:
Camdenish · 10/03/2022 22:58

That’s a fantastic costume Green, beautiful. She could wear trainers with that and go skateboarding surely?

Original poster
GreenAndSpringy · 10/03/2022 21:28

@Liverbird77

Culture day? It doesn't sit right with me. Would they expect my children to go in as a bull fighter and flamenco dancer? Both of these costumes are wildly inappropriate. As a family we despise one and have no connection with the other! If not, what would they expect? The Spanish side of the family dresses just like the English side! It seems like a silly idea!
Here’s my kid in Spanish regional dress on a day we didn’t have to worry about PE kit.

That’s the thing, we take these opportunities to share our culture seriously.

Playing along to delusions - costumes and PE
OP posts:
Cryingbutstilltrying · 10/03/2022 20:41

I’ve never heard of culture day but it sounds like an almighty pain for many kids whose authentic ethnic outfit could indeed be very fiddly or easily damaged.
Luckily my kids are just English. School uniform will do nicely if they ever try this bollox around here.

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/03/2022 20:36

I agree about the mixture, my kids would have 4 cultures to pick from, I'm not sure if that would make it easier or harder

It kinda seems a bit like celebrating diversity whilst assuming everyone " sticks to their own" which doesn't that kinda miss what diversity has lead to and that's friendships amd families with all sorts of mixtures/combinations of backgrounds.

I was born in this country , and my dad is half Eastern European. My grandfather married an English woman. I have distant Eastern European relatives.

I wonder what kids with mixtures of backgrounds would do.

sliverpink · 10/03/2022 20:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons

ancientgran · 10/03/2022 20:20

@Whatwouldscullydo

ancient It was unclear if it was like a Halloween situation where kids just pick an outfit or whether it would actually just be the ones with different backgrounds. Alot of thide costumes border on cultural appropriation such as native American costumes( I hope that's the correct description aploogies if not) After all British culture is very much now a huge mix of cultures. And families are now also a huge mix if different backgrounds.

I certainly can imagine it being extremely difficult to decide " which one" so to speak.

I read this bit There’s enormous pressure and expectation for the young people to be ambassadors for their ethnic heritage so couldn't see where the cultural appropriation came into it. If it was just "pick a culture" obviously it would be.

I agree about the mixture, my kids would have 4 cultures to pick from, I'm not sure if that would make it easier or harder.

Original poster
GreenAndSpringy · 10/03/2022 20:14

I ended up finding something appropriate that my kid could take on and off, before and after PE.

It’s not what we hoped she would be able to wear tomorrow, and is a massive compromise, but it’s all we can do.

The dressing up part is never the problem, dressing up IS great! I object to how certain kids are singled out by the decision into huge difficulties others won’t have when trying to comply.

In short, sure, World Book Day, Culture Day, Ancient Civilisation Day, whatever you like, but just suspend the PE Kit expectations for that one blasted occasion.

OP posts:
cherryonthecakes · 10/03/2022 19:11

Just had a closer look at the academy newsletter and it was just Sixth Formers. They don't wear uniform so it makes sense that they might have a day when they all dress up in Cultural dress for the day instead.

cherryonthecakes · 10/03/2022 19:06

Are you local to me? Our school is in an academy trust with another school and the other school had a Culture Day. It looks like it was kids who wanted to show their culture who were dressed up. Teenagers wouldn't want to appropriate another culture so I assume it's optional iyswim

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/03/2022 16:52

Plus surely some of the clothing is special. Hand made or handmade embroidered. Been in the family a long time etc worn for something specific/special.

The last place on earth you'd wanna wear it would be school where your likely ha e a coffee knocked over you or someone's pen flicked at you etc

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/03/2022 16:43

ancient It was unclear if it was like a Halloween situation where kids just pick an outfit or whether it would actually just be the ones with different backgrounds. Alot of thide costumes border on cultural appropriation such as native American costumes( I hope that's the correct description aploogies if not) After all British culture is very much now a huge mix of cultures. And families are now also a huge mix if different backgrounds.

I certainly can imagine it being extremely difficult to decide " which one" so to speak.

TizerorFizz · 10/03/2022 16:13

If is quite odd to see how views have changed though. When DD2 was a secondary school around 13 years ago, we had a fancy dress evening fund raiser for parents where people dressed up as folk from another country. No one thought it odd that I wore a Spanish costume and DD borrowed a Nigerian one from a Nigerian friend who was delighted to lend it. Others represented all sorts of nations. We didn’t offend anyone I think.

ancientgran · 10/03/2022 15:47

@Revengeofthepangolins

And what are boring old english heritage children meant to wear? Last year there an Out break of shorts worn with black socks and sandals/crocs to be British man abroad
Morris dancers?
ancientgran · 10/03/2022 15:46

@Whatwouldscullydo

Cultural appropriation is not appropriate. Things have meanings fgs. There are outfits/traditional dress/ accessories etc that have alot of meaning behind them. Symbols of traditions and perhaps spiritual significance etc. Somethings aren't just an outfit.
Is it cultural appropriation if it is their family's culture? The Polish kids I went to school with had a very strong Polish identity, went to Polish school on Saturday and Sunday, spoke Polish at home, had Polish food. I know as I had Polish friends and visited their homes.

Wearing Polish national costume was something they were proud of. I'm not sure why it was only Polish kids who did it, the school also had Irish, Scottish, Spanish and Italian kids but they never did it.

CruCru · 10/03/2022 15:12

This is a weird thing to expect of secondary age children. Are 14 year olds really expected to dress up?

TizerorFizz · 10/03/2022 14:35

Just don’t do it. Leave it those for whom it means something. It’s a stupid idea though. Far better to look at literature, art and music/theatre of other cultures.

Camdenish · 10/03/2022 13:11

I’m going to send DD n with that quote on a t shirt *whatwould!

Cultural Appropriation is Not Appropriate

Revengeofthepangolins · 10/03/2022 11:04

And what are boring old english heritage children meant to wear? Last year there an Out break of shorts worn with black socks and sandals/crocs to be British man abroad