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Original poster

How to feel more positive about DC not getting first choice school

31 replies

greatthings344 · 02/03/2022 08:39

We applied for some of the very selective grammar and private schools and didn't get our first choice for either. Got an offer from what are classed as very good schools in both the private and grammar category but I can't help feel deflated. We started the whole process in Yr 5 and even though DC is bright and motivated had a LOT of catching up to do. I know I'm being unreasonable but I come from a very academic family which is skewing my perspective on things.

Anyone else feel this way and manage to get themselves out of this sulk

OP posts:
GraciousPiglet · 02/03/2022 08:54

He did get a grammar place though, just not in the top school? They are still very sought after!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/03/2022 08:53

I’d be pleased to be breaking the cycle, if sounds like setting a child up for a lifetime of failure or feeling inadequate otherwise if failing to meet family and school expectations. I agree a bright child will do well anywhere, it’s normally the middle ground kids who benefit from being pushed. I’d rather my child was happy and progressing in a school with a poorer OFSTED report than always playing second fiddle in a better school. Probably a weird analogy but I think it’s often better to have the best room in a three star hotel, than the most basic in a four star, it sounds like a more relaxed approach is a good thing here.

Littlemissprosecco · 02/03/2022 08:48

Even the best schools can’t guarantee the top grades. A friend sent her son to a top independent as it would guarantee oxbridge, guess what? He didn’t get in!!
My child is very poorly and struggling, there are no real certainties in life, just take everything as an opportunity and run with it, who knows where he’ll end up. Probably doing something non of you ever dreamed of. Don’t set him off on a set path, he’s too young let him explore

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/03/2022 08:45

They will be in the best school for them. All your choices would probably be a disaster for my DD for example... and you probably wouldn't value the good things about DDs school (great SEN department, lots of vocational options as well as academic). But it will, fingers crossed, by great for her. And as I've pointed out to her younger sister we will look at the best options for her when the time comes.

Cheekypeach · 02/03/2022 08:42

Because, what’s the point? Your son ends up at one of these pushy schools, gets a stressful jobs, pushes his own kids and the cycle starts again? Let him enjoy his teen years and do things at a more relaxed pace and stop making him a mini-you.

Littlemissprosecco · 02/03/2022 08:41

Hard working kids do well wherever they go. There’s more to life than a string of grade 8s