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Original poster

GCSE results - how to react to disappointing grades

55 replies

justcheckin22 · 17/02/2022 14:10

DD is doing very little revision and if her recent mocks are anything to go by, she will be very lucky to pass any, let alone all, her GCSEs.

This is obviously very disappointing particularly as up until two years ago she was predicted steady 5&6's possibly one 7 so some subjects better than others not particularly academic but quite capable. When lockdown hit she pretty much switched off and lost all interest and motivation in work. No concerns about her MH but she's discovered boys, parties, gaming and just won't engage with anything about her future, school work or what failing might mean (leaving school and probably most of her friends, not being able to take the gap year she's planning etc

I've been thinking recently about the practicalities of results day - if by some miracle she does scrape a pass and secure a place at 6th form (Btec so only needs APS of 3.5)I honestly think I'm going to struggle to be pleased for her when I know how little she's done and how much more she is capable of. She has a bee in her bonnet about us having too high expectations so I'm conscious of not being too down on her about any achievements but in all honesty, yes maybe few years ago we would talk about how a 5 could be a 6 with hard work but now, if she got 5 & 6's I'd be bloody ecstatic so just keen for her to pass.
Anyone been in this situation or have any pearls of wisdom?

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 17/02/2022 15:41

Sorry, I answered the wrong question. You asked how to react to disappointing grades, not what to say now.

I think I would avoid reacting much at all tbh. Just ask if she is happy with the results. If she is, then I wouldn't offer any further comment. If she isn't, then that's the time to have a conversation about what she could have done differently.

AlexaShutUp · 17/02/2022 15:39

I would dial down all expectations from your point of view. Let her know that you've resigned yourself to whatever grades she gets and that you respect the fact that it's her life, not yours. Then ask her what her plan B is if she doesn't get enough for her BTEC. Make sure that she knows this is not about you and your disappointment. It's about her life and what she wants from it.

TheSongAboutMe · 17/02/2022 15:20

Parties and gaming wouldn’t be an option for my kids if they were not trying their best at school. I’d put a stop to those things/limit them until your daughter is willing to engage. And I wouldn’t hide my disappointment at results if she hadn't worked hard. Any results are to be celebrated if they have been worked for.

RedskyThisNight · 17/02/2022 15:10

Matter of fact "I'm glad you've got the grades you needed to do your BTec. How do you feel about it?" If she is happy and she's done enough to get onto the next stage does it really matter that she's getting 4s and not 5s or 6s?

TeenPlusCat · 17/02/2022 14:34

I haven't been in this position, DD2's GCSEs were a write off due to pandemic/MH. DD1 tried hard for her B/C grades.

I would perhaps just try to be matter of fact, so maybe try to hide disappointment? It is what it is.

Does she have a 'Plan B' if things go even worse than you expect - e.g. doing a Level 2 BTEC whilst retaking maths/English?

We always talked about

  • having the good grades opens more choices
  • not wanting any 'if onlys' on results day
  • the fact you have to resit English & maths and that will be a pain when moving on to next studies (and yes, for DD2 it is a real pain, and I am so sad for her she needs to do it)