Is it likely everyone else right and I am wrong?

go with your gut

I have a theory that time-travelling will be possible in the future and gut instincts are the proof - they are the warnings from your future self!
🤣🤣

seriously though, gut instincts are a manifestation of your brain being able to process more pieces of information unconsciously than your conscious mind is able to comprehend & express into coherent thoughts.

if you have a bad feeling then don't do it.

@PupInAPram Vey true, but the OP still needs to decide the order to put the schools on her preference form, which should be in the genuine order of preference.

If either or both schools are oversubscribed, it may be a choice that is out of your hands!

First of all, what school did your child like?

I was going to ask this too. If both you and your DD's gut feeling was for school 2, I would definitely go for that. If however your DD thinks she would prefer school 1, then I would hesitate. If you go against the grain, and where her friends are going, and where she thinks she prefers, and then it doesn't work out, you will also have her against you for having made the wrong choice. And don't forget she is going to turn into a teenager at this school. "It's all your fault that I am at this stupid school, when all my friends went to X school" (even if she doesn't actually say it - and teenagers often do, but even if she will think it), is not the best basis for then dealing with problems that will then occur.

The OP liked the stricter school! That’s the dilemma. Other parents prefer the more relaxed ambience elsewhere. Academy chains can be difficult to avoid in some places.

I think the OP looked at slightly superficial things but clearly likes newness and a stricter environment. I would want to look at results and whether the school gets DC performing to the best of their abilities. So progress 8 and destinations would be in my mix. Is the strict school punching above it’s weight, or not? What does if offer in terms of enrichment and breadth of subjects? What did DC showing you round say about teaching? Was there great art and what about music and drama??

I tend to think DC must be involved in this decision too. Would a military style academy with inflexible rules suit them? Or would if stifle their individuality and make them anxious? I don’t think gut reaction by parents is the way to go if DC is not on board.

I’m a teacher and I’d be hugely wary of academy chains. In humane workloads for staff and inflexible rules for students.

I think in East London (Walthamstow in our case) a lot of middle class parents are keen to dismiss schools which are openly aspirational and focused on results and ratings. I think this is partly because they know they can provide their DC with the support to do well in a less pushy school, so they look at other factors (including sociodemographic and racial).

Meanwhile my very aspirational Bulgarian and Chinese neighbours send their DC to Harris academy in Tottenham. They love it there, and they will do very well by being there. I myself see nothing wrong with being ambitious - I wish my DS's primary school was a bit more ambitious tbh.

Go with your instinct as Schools change all the time. That said though I know plenty of people who didn't listen to good advice and trusted their very wrong instincts and chose the wrong school

Go with what you think is right for your child.

I went with a very relaxed school - people were perplexed at my choice, but I 100% made the right decision for my DC.

Different people want different things for their DC.

No school can be right for every child and their families.

You are effectively entering into a 5 or 7 year relationship with an institution. It's a big investment. You DC has to go every day. So, I'd look very carefully at the things that matter to the DC. You say school one has great bands and performances. Is she into that? Would that be a clincher for her? If not, then it doesn't matter that that's what they do well.

Look at what interests your DC. Science? Pay close attention to the science dept. Sports? Pay close attention to that. Etc.

Also, consider travel time. We sent our DC to a school almost an hour away by public transport. It's a pig. Anything out of hours, any parents evenings, matches, all mean were ferrying him around a lot. The other difference is my DC is out of the house at 7am every day, instead of the 8:15 it would have been to the local school. It's a big difference. Add in the fact he's never home before 5, instead of 3:45 and he has a long day on his hands.

Also, ask you child. They're the ones going there.

I think that some schools that are very popular and over subscribed don’t feel they need to try and attract children (which they don’t to be fair) so don’t make a lot of effort for open evenings.

EBacc is just a measure for schools. It means nothing to unis, it won't appear on their CV etc. Fully live remote teaching isn't necessarily a good thing either.

But if the vibe wasn't there for you choose the school where it was. Sometimes historic reputation is what people rely on and continue to do so even when the school may be quite a different place. Productions are all well and good but not if something your child wouldn't want to participate in anyway.

It’s a very personal choice - a bit like buying a house. Do you know any parents from the other school who could give you feedback (remember open days are not a true indication at all of the reality of school life there.) more importantly do you know children in each school? Being surrounded by children they feel comfortable with is a big marker for a child’s happiness at school, and happiness at school is the biggest marker for a constructive and ambitious education, not 100% online learning.

You may be right for your kid, but that doesn't stop them being right for theirs too.

We chose to send dd to the less often used school at secondary because it was a better fit for her. It wasn't necessarily wrong for others to send theirs to that school.

First of all, what school did your child like?

It could be that you don’t have the same priorities as other people. I wasn’t that bothered about pastoral care! As long as the had the staff and policies in place, I felt all schools would be fine on this. I wanted absolutely the best teaching and my child to be a valued member of the school community. Lots of clubs and things to do so they got a broad education was important for us.

I don’t care who showed us round as long as they knew something when we asked a question. I can assure you that you never ever get all pupils volunteering to show parents round. You always get the more engaged ones offering. Wild horses would not drag some kids back into school so don’t kid yourself about student ambassadors being drawn from all pupils!

It’s perfectly ok to choose the school that looks more disciplined but I wouldn’t go for this. I actually like DC to develop and flourish within boundaries but schools with strict rules can be very stifling and can take initiative away. If you are always told what to do and think, do you mature and think for yourself? Most schools do have good discipline by the way, but in some it’s hammered home and it’s a usp. Not for me though. Often it’s like this in schools that were previously failing so I would check that out too.

Do people prefer the school because of the local population? There's a lot of snobbery here around postcodes, I understand to a degree, the fear of "the wrong crowd" but not to the extent that I will overlook a good school because it's in a "poorer area".

It can be hard to tell just from a couple of visits, OP. I sent my DD to the distinctly underwhelming bog standard local comprehensive.
The staff were brilliant. One even tutored DD in her house while recovering from chemo, as she was concerned the supply teacher wasn’t up to scratch.
They also arranged for DD to attend part time at a different comp down the road, to study a subject they didn’t cover.
DD came out with 5 grade A Advanced Highers in STEM subjects (Scotland - roughly equivalent to A levels) and went to a RG uni for a maths degree.
Meanwhile, the hugely expensive private school in our area (“stabling for your child’s polo pony provided”!) had dismal exam results.

I think some schools are good at marketing and doing a hard sell. I was very impressed by one of our local ones at an open day expecting to hate it, very engaged staff and pupils with a very aspirational message, new bright classrooms. The other mixed school that lots of parents favoured seemed much more chaotic and less ambitious, in an older building. But talking to parents, they were overwhelming positive about school 2 and pastoral care was a particular plus. One parent also told me that school 2 was the only one where all children show prospective parents round, rather than the ones who have been cherry picked for the role.

We didn't end up going for either as put a single sex one and grammar school as 1 & 2 but would did put school 2 above school 1 despite initial impressions.

Its so difficult isn't it. I mean schools now are falling apart . You have such high hopes of feeling like its the right place for your child and you leave puzzled at why this crumbling crap hole with chewing gum stained carpets desks with holes gouged in to them has so many peope raving about it. Didnthey not see the missing ceiling tiles and the door that's clearly been kicked ?

Yesbits all down to funding etc not the teachers ir the kids faults but this is what they poor buggers are supoosed to teach and learn in.

I'd say go witg the one the kids seemed happiest in. The building will soon resemble a crap hole after all.

We are north London, too. DD is year 8. I think that for many of the parents I have spoken to it comes down to (perhaps not acknowledged) racism; they want the white school. And have actually said that to me. But they couch it in more acceptable terms (to them). Things like “people like us”. They just mean white and middle class.

We said no to the one virtually all DD's friends went to. It is very highly thought of locally, indeed there seems to be a bit of snobbery attached to sending your child there in some quarters. In her case they were dismissive of her dyslexia diagnosis, but there were other warning bells, a governor publicly criticising the other local comprehensive, a very pushy staff member coming into years 5 and 6 doing a hard sell on the pupils. Most of my friends DCs have been absolutely fine there and they are not snobby at all. But I'm still very glad DD didn't go there.

It can take a long time for public perception of a school to change unless there is a major incident. Everyone may talk positively about a school but it doesn't mean that they will have any direct experience of it. Even if they do, whether your child has a good experience or not will largely depend on things entirely out of your or the school's control such as whether she happens to get on with the people in her class & likes her teacher.
We spent a long time deciding about our first choice for DC1. In the end, we went with the popular one but it was for our own reasons. We put the other one down as our second choice knowing we had a high chance of getting it and that was unusual amongst our friends. What became clear, was that they had different priorities and concerns to us. Views on single sex education, diversity, modern foreign languages, number and variety of sports teams were all relevant as were family ties.

You need to choose as best you can for your child. You clearly prefer one school over the other. There are two local comps near me. One a big chain which some people hate and another a new partner school for another local school. Some people prefer one, some people prefer the other. Kids are pretty much happy either way.