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Secondary education

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Original poster

How much input from child on secondary choice

34 replies

bingandflop · 15/10/2021 16:34

Hi there

We are struggling with our secondary choices. My daughter is hellbent on a school the next town over which would require a bus journey. This school is ofsted rated good.

We live with in walking distance of 2 secondaries that are ofsted rated outstanding.

I like the school the next town over but also the ones nearby. I just think it's madness to get a bus with all the hassle that involves (not turning up, being full, getting up earlier, hanging round bus stops in the cold and dark in winter, cost etc) when she could just walk up the road.

I am struggling with it, as I don't know if I should let her do 100% of the decision making or overrule what we put in which order on the form.

What do you think? Has anyone ever been jn a similar situation and what did you do?

Thanks for any advice

OP posts:
JKDinomum · 15/10/2021 16:49

We did the list of pros and cons with my son. As a parent you can make the pros on the one you think would be best seem more important.

Does your daughter have sensible reasons for the school she wants? Obviously I would take her opinion into account but look at her reasons and how good they are long term. Kids sometimes make choices based on stuff that might not be relevant later or as important as they think it is.

breakforthewest · 15/10/2021 16:49

What did she think of the orther 2 schools when you visited?

Original poster
bingandflop · 15/10/2021 16:47

Good point her best friend wants the same school but my daughter says she wants to go there even if her best friend doesn't go. I don't think she's thought through the practicalities, I just feel she is too young to make a decision this important

OP posts:
ifoundthebread · 15/10/2021 16:45

Which school are been friendship circle going to?

Original poster
bingandflop · 15/10/2021 16:42

She should do we live about 5 miles away and they usually take from 8 miles. She just liked the vibe but can't seem to give me any particularly sound reason

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/10/2021 16:40

We asked our DD on her thoughts of our two realistic schools. She said it was too confusing. So we chose.

Soontobe60 · 15/10/2021 16:40

First of all, the order you put the schools on the form isn’t really relevant. If you put the furthest school 1st and she doesn’t get a place, that doesn’t mean she goes further down the list for the nearer schools. You need to look at how likely she is to get into the school furthest away, then let her know the chances of her getting a place.
Why is it she wants to go there?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/10/2021 16:38

Would she even get into the further away school?

KingofQueens · 15/10/2021 16:37

I think it depends on her reasons for wanting to go there. Can you all sit down and make a list of all the good things about each school? We gave our children a choice of school we were happy with and let them pick from those. We told them we had ruled out ones too far away.