Should I move heaven and earth to get DD (13) into a better school?

I was this child. I actually got brilliant grades (all A*s and As and GCSE and 4 As at A-level) but I lost my passion for learning at secondary. I'm not sure if it's the case at your DD's school but at mine there wasn't really a learning culture and it wasn't "cool" to want to do well so I used to do the bare minimum and pretend I didn't care.

It was a real shock when I got to uni and the other students actually had opinions they wanted to share, read around the subject voluntarily etc. I also work in an industry where the vast majority of my peers when to private or selective secondaries - of course that may change in future.

Ultimately it might not be possible but I'd look very seriously at moving her. It might be a slim chance but I think it's worth going on the waiting lists of all the better schools in the area - you might think you don't live close enough but you never know, you might get lucky.

What are her sixth form options?

Round here most DC go on to sixth form college, which is a whole different kettle of fish for A levels. Or go private at that point for 2 years.

If she wants to go Oxbridge she needs to take some ownership herself of this. It’s no good saying “I’m bored and no one is as academic as me” - there’s loads of ways she can stretch herself with the help of just one or two teachers, IMO.

Ultimately motivation needs to come from her- if the prospect of Oxford is sufficiently motivating get her researching exactly what she needs to get there now…

I'd hold my nerve @FrazzledY9Parent. It might just be your dd who's going through a phase and changing school will add potentially lots of stress. What does she want? What are her interests? Has she got good friends in our outside of school?

Also, do you have younger siblings to think of? Which schools are better for them? IME with older dc, it really depends on the attitude of the child, it's easy to feel the school is responsible but your dd has to find the motivation to do well within herself. The general stroppiness could well be hormones.

Honestly, I think you will struggle to find a secondary school that stretches.

Schools are judged on their GCSE/A-level results. If a student can easily achieve A/A with no support, teachers will rightly give more energy to students who's results they can improve. There is really no incentive to move a student beyond the A/A range.

Both my boys achieve in school very easily. I moved a child to an independent school for GCSE. They did not stretch him so much as hyper-prepare him to succeed on exams. I think the stretching comes from extra-curricular activities. I'd concentrate on those. (my youngest son has just learned to be lazy, but he achieves straight A*. I worry, but I am aware it is a priviledged worry. He is looking forward to mocks as a bit of fun).

OP, I don't think you should be researching extra-curricular groups etc - your dd should be doing it if she really believes that she's only working at 30% of her capacity and is motivated to do more.

From personal experience, I was this kid. I absolutely loved learning, was always in the top 2% and then at some point, school just slowed down far too much to be interesting and was more busy work than stimulation. It killed any interest I had in learning, and my life stalled out for a while. I ended up doing fairly poorly my last four years of school. If you think she's losing interest and can do something to retain her passion in learning, I would do it.

If she's clever then there's no reason she can't get good grades at any school, my DD's school was in special measures and they sacked the head half way through her year 10 and was on acting head for the rest of her time there - she got 10 A's & a*'s. Change her for 6th form though, you can't self teach a levels. Get a tutor perhaps if budget allows - I topped up with homeschooling as tutors weren't an option

OP,
I moved when my DCs secondary school went downhill. We went outside the city to a village with a very good state school. It was the best thing we ever did as not only did this school actually support gifted children, it even had links with top universities to help the students with their applications. My DC also made new friends with people that were more academic and similar to them in interest.

I think if there are no bursaries, you would not be wrong to look at moving outside your city and to a place that encourages your DC academically.

But if she capable of the very top grades, she should get them wherever she is.

That’s not how it works in reality. There have been numerous scientific studies on the wasted potential of students in bad schools and how a poor education is the primary influence on a person’s academic achievements. Your viewpoint is that the education one receives has no bearing on your academic achievement. If this were true, then you’d also be saying that all middle class children are simply more intelligent than working class children, because they do better.

OP I’d echo looking in to bursaries, if (big if) there are any private schools nearby that you think would suit her. Beyond that, have you looked at online groups for gifted children? There are some fantastic things on offer which provide a similar peer group, as well as some brain stretching, this is one I’ve found and would recommend www.p4he.org/

Ownership obliterates boredom. Let her take her education into her own hands.

By your description of the school, it's clear the School is not an academic one and neither does it claim to be as it takes in students with a wide range of ability. The high achieving students it seems either go private or to the 2/3 oversubscribed schools.

Unfortunately your case is not unique as there are loads of schools up and down the country similar to yours. If as you claim your child is working at close to 30% and is acing every single one of Her test, then there I say it, we might have a mini genius on our hands so She better start applying to Private schools who would be more than happy to have Her.

Alternatively, She could copy what most Bright students who are left with no choice but to attend middle of the road Secondary schools do which is knuckledown and get go great GCSE results and then change schools. In London for example, I know a good chunk of pupils that attend sixth form colleges like Harris Westminster,Newham Collegiate Sixth-form,Brampton Manor,Woodhouse college,King's college maths school, London Academy of Excellence et al are from these said schools.

Should say *boarding schools!

You could look into scholarships at 13+ at biasing schools? Lots of mixed schools have a reasonable intake at that age. Don't know when you need to register by though, but worth exploring if she's academic.

@Magicalwoodlands Boredom is a genuine problem with gifted children, which OP's daughter probably is. Of course every school has some less interesting lessons, but more academic schools go faster and spend less time trying to raise the grades of low attaining kids.

Differentiation is supposed to happen in state education, but realistically teachers are struggling as much as any of us - and doing their best! It isn't easy to differentiate for one notably gifted child.

She probably does have an attitude and is being lazy, but that doesn't mean the boredom isn't real.

Hopefully this won’t sound harsh but I think the ‘boredom’ thing can be a bit of a cop-out.

Do you (or she) really think that if she was at a super academic private or grammar school that she’d be stimulated and engaged and stretched all day? I doubt it. I think you’d be more likely to get more of the same. Any school will consist of a certain amount of seemingly pointless tests, sit here, do that, repeat that.

I think it’s really easy to make assumptions about different schools but they are all probably more similar than different - as much as every school claims to have an individual ethos, they don’t, really.

Personally, I think moving schools at this late stage has the potential to cause a few difficulties.

Some suggestions for out of school things, that will keep her interests going and ultimately make her a more prepared candidate if she does apply for Oxford - or any other top university!

Subscribe to science and geography magazines - while there is a lot online, the reading experience is different with a physical text.

There are interesting ongoing programmes to bring children into cyber security (at an appropriate fun level). The main 'challenge' isn't currently running, but check out cybersecuritychallenge.org.uk/what-we-do/schools-programme# - they do have games etc to try out now, and I'm sure will open up their larger programmes.

Oxford's own online resources for students in her age group is a fantastic portal with links to each subject. When she is eligible (should be in year 10), she should start considering whether she wants to enter their science essay competition - it's a challenge that will really help her to start thinking in the way she'll need to later for interviews. And you can bet plenty of kids at private schools enter! Plus, a good way to push herself and work independently, with a tangible goal.

Since she is musical, she should consider studying for ABRSM music theory exams. It will hugely enhance her instrumental work later and will certainly challenge her.

Regarding bursaries, you can always ring around and just ask. All circumstances are taken into account including being single parent. My DD knows children whose mums are eg nurses and one child whose parents are quite well off but have 7 children. The youngest is very bright and was having trouble at school and is an ethnic minority - he got so much help including free therapy and ended up at oxbridge. So it can be worth a try.

I went to a crappy comprehensive. Was bored. Ended up with mediocre results. Wasted. Find alternatives.

Sadly I think quite a lot of bright kids experience this,esp in years 7-9. I certainly did at my ‘good’ comprehensive. It was a perfectly reasonable comprehensive but was certainly not stretched in any way until a level. (Except music gcse composition which I sucked at)

I would
A) raise your concerns with school - being bored is not great, much worse is losing interest in education because of boredom
B) find out if they set for more subjects at gcse
C) consider entering her for local private school entrance. You might well qualify for a substantial bursary and if she is really bright schools will want her.
D) consider things which are challenging outside school- music, drama, sport, extra gcse from home this year

There's a 13+ I think. Maybe see if she can take that at a nearby grammar?

I was like this at school. I wouldn't have been able to put it into words and no-one was bothered in my crappy comprehensive school in the 1980s, but I so remember being bored day after day, scoring really highly in all assessments and wondering what on earth was the purpose of going to school.

There wasn't anyone at home to support my learning and I was very depressed (for different reasons).

If I had had support at home, what would have helped me was being encouraged to pursue additional interests. Does she play instruments? Does she want to do grades? She can work towards those at her own pace.

Is she involved in any online/f2f extra-curricular stuff to stretch her academically? Young mathematicians/geographers/scientists groups? If she feels that she's only working at 30% of her capabilities, it's up to her to decide how she makes the most of herself, with your support of course.

To put things into perspective, it sounds like she's having a boring, rather than distressing, traumatic, frightening or lonely time at school. If all that is missing is academic stretching, that sounds very make-up-able outside of school.

Encourage her to see school and GCSEs as a means to an end - just get on with it - and use her other time to challenge herself intellectually.