Is another move of school crazy?

I think it legit depends on groupings.

If he struggles he’s likely to end up in the lower sets where expectations are lower and parents aren’t too bothered about education or they get little support at home.

Neither had I until we really needed to move dc out of a horrendous school, panicking as it was mid covid so couldn't visit and the new school suggested it!

Definately worth a try

Have you asked the state school Re a managed move?

It's usually for behavioural issue pupils to spend a few weeks at a different school to see if it helps them improve, however schools may be flexible in allowing you to try this with a view to transferring.

Not sure how private school would entertain tjis, and as another poster said they may still want fees to keep your dc on roll.

wish you could get something like a trial 2 weeks and then decide !
This might be an option Be prepared to pay 2 terms at the private school and ask them to keep his place. If they agree to that accept the state option and see how it goes for the first few weeks /half term. If it does n’t work out return to the private school.

Keep him where he is. If his confidence is rising and his school work is going well it's the right place for him now.

I had similar issues with my DS and have seen what 3 years private schooling can do. He's completely changed. It's not that it's private maybe, just that it's a much smaller setting. Maybe if we lived in a small village with less people and smaller class sizes then it would be the same. He just needs a quiet place to learn and his old state school was anything but that. A lot of distractions all the time. Not the school's fault as they did the best they could but they were overwhelmed with SN kids with worse problems than DS's which meant the class was very 'busy' for want of a better word.

I'd not rock the boat OP. You have a winning formula there for your DS. He can always go back to state system at sixth form.

@ChocolateHoneycomb
I was commenting on the language you used to describe the SENCO which was a bit offensive. That’s all.

@Contentedpiggy I’m glad to hear your schools SENCOs are clearly less pressured. I visited both schools, hoping they might suit esp the one with the ASD hub, and they were clearly so overwhelmed with kids with greater needs that a child like ds just can’t be anywhere but low on the SEN priority list. For the ASD hub, you have to be two years behind in English and maths OR various behavioural disturbances. They have a waiting list apparently. Ds isn’t in those categories, so I do understand others need that support more, however in my lucky position of being able to afford another option where they can support him, it feels preferable.

Given the original OPs situation, I would keep the child in the environment which is clearly working for him.

[quote Noangelbuthavingfun]@sootess no he is not struggling anymore at private and has come a long way with his confidence- hence the risk of moving him and potentially falling back into struggling! It's a small school though and I wonder if it will suit him long term being so small but I will take it one step at a time[/quote]
I would keep him where he is then if I could financially.

I'm not disputing the benefits of local connections. There are so many benefits and my children have reaped the rewards. However, it becomes quite complex with the child with SEN- as the quality of support that they receive in childhood/teenage hood determines the quality of life they get in adulthood.

However, correct me if I'm wrong OP, but is your child struggling at the private school? If so, why would you consider keeping him there. I don't agree with another poster who said that if your child is settled in his private school, leave him be. If his struggling? Then why leave him there? I believe a change is good for Autistic children but only that but if he is struggling now at his private school, it may get worse! Look around for schools, look at state, private, mainstream schools with units/without, private specialist schools or local authority special schools and make your mind from then.

It's a fact of life in the private sector @Noangelbuthavingfun that friends will be spread over a wide area.
The kids are still perfectly able to see their friends out of school. It's often the school sports clubs and after school clubs.

The socialising tends to be more at the weekends and sometimes sleepovers. We often bring a friend home on Friday evenings for tea. It does take a lot more parental organisation though and I have spent years as a taxi service! We are in a city and mine can self travel to other city friends but not the more rural ones.

Mine were still involved in local activities until about age 14 and then it dropped off.

Ooo @Christmasfairy2020.
Better families etc.
Get your hard hat out. 👷‍♀️. 😂😂

Don't move him unless you have to ie. because you can't afford it any more. He's happy and settled. Moving children with SEN can be catastrophic. Imagine all the new things he would have to learn if you moved him: getting to school route, timetable, new teachers, new uniform, new building to navigate, hundreds and hundreds of new faces. This is all amplified by the SEN. He would be a fish out of water and absolutely terrified.

He likes his current school and is doing well. Don't rock the boat,

@ChocolateHoneycomb
You will have to watch your language then - were I a Senco I would have been very distressed at you suggesting someone ‘wasn’t interested’ - the ones I have met in a variety of schools are very passionate and have often arrived in the job due to their own experiences with their children struggling.

@secular39
I think you have taken the community angle to a far extreme in your slightly odd post. My DC like being in a local school because it means they can dictate their social lives to some degree - walk home with their friends to their houses after school, enjoy a social life at weekends after their sports commitments. It doesn’t mean they are going to insist their children and grandchildren grow up within a mile radius!
The different educational choices offer different pro’s (and con’s). I think we would enjoy some of the benefits of a private education, but we also enjoy the benefits of a local one.

I'm not sure friends spread out or local is a big factor for me- unless one school is a real mission to travel to. Sometimes that is down to luck (class, dynamics etc)

I'd go with what looks to suit the child best, not all children will thrive in a big diverse state or a small cuddly environment.

@Contentedpiggy what I meant was the state school Sencos both said that ASD requiring very minimal extra support is so low down on their priority list - due to others needing so much more - that they don’t even the resources to do more than just put on his record he has ASD.

You are lucky in having a school that can support your child’s needs. Don’t assume all schools can or are willing to do that, state or private. I think most are doing all they can but have competing needs of the many with minimal resources. We had a bad experience with assuming that ds would be fine at his initial state school based on it being a generally very good school. He has done much better in a more structured prep school environment. Others might not! I think it really important for people to check out their local options and then decide. I had hoped we might move back to state for secondary but realistically a 1200 pupil comprehensive does not look the most supportive option, given we can afford private. We are lucky in that respect.

How old is your DD, her local primary friendships are more likely to change, particularly when kids are post 16. Funny though, my life long friends were the ones I met in Secondary and people who I knew outside of school, e.g. neighbours.

However, the OP is talking about the detriment of her child's well-being vs struggles but not wanting to move because of local connections and being lonely.

Also, state schools can not admit a child due to their SEN, if you fight it that is and can prove that the school can meet your child's needs.

Wanting your children to have local connections is hardly the same thing as wanting them to go to the same school you have, marry the bloke next door and stay local all their life! Rather a huge step there! For us, our DD goes to a school 50 minutes away. While one of her group of school friends lives in the next village, the rest live over an hour away making meet ups more of a hassle. The local friendships she has maintained from Primary have been great for weekend and holiday socialising that don’t involve sleepovers and long drives.

Some of the less bright SN are also excluded at our school and left to be home educated - these children are often vulnerable, from poorer families who don't have the money to buy help in, quite often they don't understand SN or know how to lobby the LA for help, and they are left not being educated at home. The outcomes for those kids are very bleak.