Year 7 and mobile phone

I have recently given my DS who is going to Y7 an old android.
We use the family link app which is brilliant for bed time and screen time limits.
We have also blocked the play store so every app approval has to come to us first.
However having constant app requests sent from him is making me rage (plus the whinge when I decline some apps)
I know I just need to be firm and not succumb to threats and standoffs
My older DD though is far more sensible and after many years on android has moved to an iphone so she can face time.
Still has limits and bed time but I have to set it up on her actual phone using a passcode as I haven't found a family link equivalent yet.
She is the only one on iphone in the house and the rest on android.

Thank you @Squiblet!

[quote AnoymousCoward]@BiBabbles may I ask how one blocks the browser on Android please? I think this is something I need to do[/quote]
This is something I've tried to do several times, only to find the kids have hacked their way into what I thought was watertight security... they're much more clever than we are at this stuff!

What finally worked was to uninstall the entire browser, plus anything else you don't want them using, then use an AppLock program to password-protect the settings and the Play store so they can't reinstall it.

You do this by going into Settings --> Apps &notifications, then clicking on each individual app (such as Chrome) and clicking Uninstall. The phone will warn you against it, but you can ignore that.

Then download Applock from the Play store and lock everything else. Just make sure you remember the password yourself...

My kids have smartphones that only run Spotify, Replaio radio and BBC Sounds - basically music/podcast devices. It seems to work pretty well.

@BiBabbles may I ask how one blocks the browser on Android please? I think this is something I need to do

My Y7 DD has an iPhone SE from 2016. It doesn't have safari, is set to prevent withheld numbers from calling her and makes use of the built-in app limits and screen time settings. Her access to most apps goes off at 8pm and on again at 7am the following morning but she can still use it for listening to music. Her school uses Show My Homework as well as the occasional kahoot but otherwise, phones shouldn't be out in class. DD's phone is good enough for what she needs but not fancy enough to be appealing to anyone else! £30 from eBay and a £1 per week PAYG from EE.

My school and dd2's new school have both just announced a no phones in school rule from September. Currently my school allows them at break/lunch but not in lessons, and I think dd's school is the same. But from September any phone found switched on will be confiscated. It's a much clearer rule, and encourages actual social interaction rather than everything being digital.

I assume you've checked what the rules are for mobile phones, and that they will be the same in September. At my school we're allowing phones as long as they are switched off in the bottom of their bag. Dd's school are asking for them to be handed in to a member of staff in the morning and collected at the end of the day.

Most of our kids' friends didn't get a phone until Year 6, but all had one by Year 7. FWIW i think I'm comparatively strict on tech access, but I don't have an issue with WA. I know it can get nasty, but so can any messaging service (or of course kids just talking to each other!), and ar least it's transparent (ie you can monitor messages and sometimes use them as a starting point for conversations). I'm far more concerned by TikTok, Insta, Snapchat etc, which have some really vile stuff readily accessible (so far my kids haven't asked for access to these, fortunately).

I don't know any Yr5 or 6 without a decent phone. It's the world they live in

Secondary school teacher here, and also parent of a year 6. We don't allow phones in lessons until sixth form, but I think kids without them would struggle socially. I'm planning to get my Dd a second hand one and put her on giffgaff, I will also be installing some hidden parental controls/monitoring on it so I can control access as they are basically the route of all bullying and fall outs

With my currently Y7 DD who has a cheap argos phone, the benefits have been:
-- she has her bus ticket on her phone (to me this is more neutral, but she says it's much better than the paper one she used to have).
-- she can access homework via the Teams app though as I've blocked the internet browser on her phone she has to use a computer with me if there is a link
-- she's used Duo and texting to talk to her friends
-- she loves the drawing and 'paint' apps, she finds it really soothing and stims with it when she needs to chill out.
-- I sometimes get random sweet texts.

The cons have been
-- the expense, though some places do family discounts. I have 5 of us for about £34 a month, but we're a family that uses very little data.
-- as her school doesn't use mobiles during lessons unless at home, she always has it on do not disturb so when she misplaces it, it's a whole thing until I remind them to double call it.
-- She does get distracted with with the drawing apps and music on it, though I've a tight lock on screen time so she only gets an hour a day for that unless her father or I add in extra time. I think this has helped. Her Y9 sister is more distracted with it, I swear that child can teleport to her room to go dancing with it the second my back is turned.

After using a few apps (and a few bumps with DS1), we use Google Family Link for screen time and controlling/monitoring apps. All of the kids, and even their father, leaves their phone downstairs at bedtime, always have. I think creating routines and expectations around them is really important (though sometimes very hard to stick to).

she can't bear kissing in films so she's not heading for porn sites or anything like that

My DS1 used to leave the room when there was kissing on TV, and once ran out of the room when his sister asked about where babies came from and yeah, at 13, he had an error that he asked my help on which ended up being caused by his phone having too many Deviant Art windows open and we had to have a bit of a chat on that. The next
6 months were a roller coaster of internet related drama - mostly around violent graphic novels - which is why the younger ones have internet browsers blocked on their phone (as did he, at his own request, until he was 15 as he found it all too easy and tempting).

I'm not saying your DD will have anything similar, but my boy taught me that showing a disinclination doesn't stop the internet rabbit hole of curiosity so anything along the lines of how uninterested a child is makes my brain scramble. I wish I'd blocked the browser sooner rather than thinking that being in the same room with a child who had at most shown annoyance for that type of content had been enough.

Mine all have an account with smarty (less than £5 a month each).
Mine definitely need it for the app for homework, sometimes use it in school, plus communicating with friends becomes more important or they can become left out.

I’m getting my dd one, she’s turns 12 in September. She will be walking to my work or catching a bus to our home town. The bus isn’t a school bus, it’s a public bus. My fil will show her the ropes first, so she can get a taster.
As I’ll be owning the handset, it’ll come to me in the evenings at bedtime.

DD got my old iPhone 8 when my 2 year contract ended last summer and she has a Sim-only contract which gives her a data allowance plus free calls/texts. I would be wary with having the latest model (although a lot of kids do) as I see that as a security risk.

I use Life 360 as a tracking app as it's more sensitive than the Find My Device, and we use the Apple parental controls. DH and I can approve or reject new apps, set time limits so the internet can't be accessed after certain times or amounts of time.

It's pretty flexible in terms of how strict or liberal you want to be.

I probably check through her phone about once a week - ensure privacy controls are on all social media and nobody strange is messaging her, check the WhatsApp messages and her internet history.

A lot depends on the child as to how much you need to limit things - DD isn't really interested in 'likes' or comments on social media (yet), and has a relatively healthy relationship with tech (does a lot of graphic design but not much gaming) and has no interest at all in the dodgier things that are available - she can't bear kissing in films so she's not heading for porn sites or anything like that, and being severely dyslexic she's not spending her time on forums either.

If I had a child who didn't have a lot of non-tech hobbies, and who had a more addictive kind of personality and was glued to games or social media I would probably be far stricter.

What phone do you use @OhCrumbsWhereNow and what parental control app would you recommend? Thanks for any advice.

I'd rather have WhatsApp than SnapChat - at least the messages don't disappear!

If you are having to buy a phone then get a smart one not a brick as the likelihood is you'll be having to get a smart one a month later when you find that your child is the only one in the class that isn't able to see the apps or be on the class groups.

DD has a group for her class, a group for the kids on her train, a group for a school drama club etc. If she wasn't in those, she just wouldn't get the messages and nobody is going to send a text as well as a Whatsapp each time.

I pay DD's contract and have parental controls set up so I preapprove any apps, have all the passwords and can look at her phone at any time if I want to check message content and ensure she is safe. That is the deal for having one. Although the class WhatsApp can get a teeny bit silly, there have been no comments that have worried me (surprisingly for 30 odd 11-12 year olds).

My DC is about to go into y7. I think I'll be getting them a brick phone. I know it means they miss out on WhatsApp, but I've heard about so much drama and bullying from WhatsApp from friends of slightly older kids. The school teacher at the induction also advised us to get a brick phone, and on the open day for the other school we looked at they also advised a brick phone. I think the longer you can hold off, the better, tbh.

Ds2 is in year 7 now, and given the hard year they've had, and last year, year 6 aswell, WhatsApp has been great for building friendships. We've had no trouble whatsoever. he is very sensible and if anyone says anything nasty, (which there has been very very little), he just leaves the group.

Trust your dd. It will be fine.

My DD got my old iPhone after I upgraded at the end of my contract and a new SIM with calls and data plan is £6 a month. Sure some kids get given brand new iPhones etc but it’s really not necessary. I would ensure it’s a smart phone though as my DDs school use tech a lot. Just things like taking photos or videos of work and then uploading it to Google classroom.

WhatsApp say under 16s should not be using it. I would hold off as long as possible. Maybe get her an old-fashioned dumb phone if absolutely essential. Lots of parents seem heavily invested in their kids having smartphones but I think the harms massively outweigh the benefits.

Please do get her a cheapish smartphone. Put restrictions on and no safari if needed but do give her what’s app. I know it’s so hard to let go and move on to the next phase, it’s scary, bloody scary. However pretty much every other child will have a smart phone. A group whats app will be formed. All the other year 7’s will be getting to know each other over what’s app and planning meet ups, discussing homework, chatting about school and what to bring and just generally bonding over what’s app.
It’s a huge step. Absolutely huge going up to y7. There are many changes and the way secondary schools treat children is so so different to how primary will have treated her. They are made to feel like mini adults rather than kids.
From a Mum of a girl who is just finishing y7 😭