Page 5 | Private Schools- worth it?

SparkyPants · 2021-06-29T16:25:48+00:00

My dad is coming to the end of yr7 in a local senior school. It's not been great (shitty year accounted for- still not great) As with many, we've seen a Massive shift in personality, drive, ambition and desire to engage. We've done our sims and can send her to a local private school. I'm looking for people's experiences and perspectives please!? [smile]

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:52

@Bryonyshcmyony
That sounds horrible. Sounds like you made the best choice based on horrible memories, which I did in reverse to you. I was at all girls. I didn’t cope well when I entered the real world and discovered those boys who were almost men by then. How are you prepping them for the inevitable at Uni/ work place? Sadly these arse wipes don’t disappear at 18.

SpaceRaiders · 05/07/2021 09:52

addition of boys to an environment seems to partially temper the self harm/E. disorder plague

Everyone’s invited. I’m not sure what’s worse.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:49

@Hoopa

I said that this professional’s opinion was that the presence of boys somehow seems to distil the anxiety levels of an all girls atmosphere. I think the data would back this up. As a parent of DD’s at a coed my nuance to add to this would be that it brings other issues - low level genderised taunting, wanting to wear make up, not concentrating so much on lessons. But for me as a parent these things worried me less, having been that overly anxious academic girl with an eating disorder myself I didn’t want my DD’s in an environment that might perpetuate things I suffered with. Horses for courses.

Yes our own experiences colour our choices. I was a nerdy girl in a mixed comp who got her bum pinched in the dinner queue and boys dominated all the classes. So I wanted a place where my dd could be herself without worrying about make up to lessons and be able to be excellent and interested in science without boys dominating. Sadly when we did try the local state the disruptive boys were front and centre so off she went to all girls where she's happy slopping around in trackies with no make up and doing well academically

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:47

@Bryonyshcmyony
I think you are showing up an extreme ignorance of girls mental health. Girls will self harm anywhere - school toilets, boarding dorm, school bus, whilst videoing themselves, in a field. School day does not play a part in this at all, what utter nonsense!

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:45

I said that this professional’s opinion was that the presence of boys somehow seems to distil the anxiety levels of an all girls atmosphere. I think the data would back this up.
As a parent of DD’s at a coed my nuance to add to this would be that it brings other issues - low level genderised taunting, wanting to wear make up, not concentrating so much on lessons. But for me as a parent these things worried me less, having been that overly anxious academic girl with an eating disorder myself I didn’t want my DD’s in an environment that might perpetuate things I suffered with. Horses for courses.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:43

@Hoopa

It completely exsists! And it is their way of trying to make sure girls can come and seek professional help for a compulsive and addictive behaviour supported by professionals. It is a very academic school and some girls erupt like volcanoes with the pressure.

OK fair enough.

I should imagine longer days and smaller class sizes make it easier for teachers to pick up any issues. If you are only at school from 8.30 to 2.30 (our local state) and in a class of 32 and barely seeing the same teacher twice a week it must be much easier to self harm at home without anyone noticing at school.

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:41

It completely exsists! And it is their way of trying to make sure girls can come and seek professional help for a compulsive and addictive behaviour supported by professionals. It is a very academic school and some girls erupt like volcanoes with the pressure.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:39

Boys don't make teen girls less anxious. What a misogynistic attitude.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:39

@Hoopa

There is a horrific endemic of mental health issues at our local all girls with a room put aside so girls can self harm safely. I was on a zoom conference last week about teen anxiety and the specialist said that the addition of boys to an environment seems to partially temper the self harm/E. disorder plague. Not that it isn’t apparent in co-ed, just that there is more in all girls.

This school if it even exists would be going against all safeguarding for schools guidelines!

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:35

And if you read my comment properly I didn't say you hated other people's children.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:34

@MsTSwift

Bizarre dramatic comment! Of course I don’t “hate” others peoples children. What a teenage response.

You were very happy to say how much you didn't like your dcs private school friends which I found extremely teenage so touché!

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:33

@Hoopa

There is a horrific endemic of mental health issues at our local all girls with a room put aside so girls can self harm safely. I was on a zoom conference last week about teen anxiety and the specialist said that the addition of boys to an environment seems to partially temper the self harm/E. disorder plague. Not that it isn’t apparent in co-ed, just that there is more in all girls.

That sounds very bizarre (the self harm room)

MsTSwift · 05/07/2021 09:29

Absolutely Hoopa my own dds state school pastoral is not great the slightly scruffier comp in the next town has an excellent team. So it’s school by school.

MsTSwift · 05/07/2021 09:28

Bizarre dramatic comment! Of course I don’t “hate” others peoples children. What a teenage response.

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:22

@Bryonyshcmyony
Our local comp, perhaps unusually, had the most incredible pastoral care, completely ‘tailored’ as you put it,with a school counsellor, fabulous full time supportive staff as well as a pastoral lead in each year who gets heavily involved. You will find pastoral care is down to individual schools not genre of school and often down to the headteacher’s influence. I have seen good and bad in both private and state so I am afraid it is much more nuanced than you claim in your post that a state schooling have bad pastoral care.

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 09:18

There is a horrific endemic of mental health issues at our local all girls with a room put aside so girls can self harm safely. I was on a zoom conference last week about teen anxiety and the specialist said that the addition of boys to an environment seems to partially temper the self harm/E. disorder plague. Not that it isn’t apparent in co-ed, just that there is more in all girls.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:06

And he should have tried for Winchester which is where two friends of mine have sent their HFA sons and are very happy with it.

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 09:05

I am sure not all are. That's different to implying than none are. I get that you hate private schools though and think the kids aren't very nice.

MsTSwift · 05/07/2021 08:57

It’s not there of course. There aren’t the funds. No one would say otherwise 🙄. Local private schools wouldn’t touch my friends son (bright but high functioning autism) with a barge pole so I am not sure all private schools particularly “supportive” either…

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 08:54

Not sure where all this tailored support is in state schools tbh!

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 08:52

@MsTSwift

My friend was at a very grand girls boarding school slightest sign of eating disorder you were out - as other girls would copy and school wouldn’t be able to attract new pupils. Seems it’s still going on but couched in new age language “better supported at home” is a polite way of saying get the hell out!

This is absolute rubbish, dds good friend is at home part of the term and at school as much as she can tolerate, she's a lovely kid and feels very supported

MsTSwift · 05/07/2021 08:50

My friend was at a very grand girls boarding school slightest sign of eating disorder you were out - as other girls would copy and school wouldn’t be able to attract new pupils. Seems it’s still going on but couched in new age language “better supported at home” is a polite way of saying get the hell out!

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 08:46

Sorry should have said its a boarding school not a day school

Bryonyshcmyony · 05/07/2021 08:41

It doesn't pretend to be able to provide the best help for a teen suffering with serious anorexia and I think they are mindful that it can be socially contagious so prefer girls to be supported by the school but based at home. I think it's a fairly standard viewpoint now in all girls private schools

Hoopa · 05/07/2021 08:34

@Bryonyshcmyony
Why does the school admit it doesn’t provide the best atmosphere? What do you mean by that? What is the best atmosphere?