Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

Knife crime talk is not on a par with a picture that a girl has chosen to post of herself in a bikini.

Personally, I’d be explaining explicitly to my daughters why I am reporting, and I’d expect them to do similar. I reported knife crime talk when my dd was y8, funnily enough no one laughed at her or me for reporting it. That was too two privates and one state.

@starray
In the case of DC (and KCS/WHS) former students from those schools have written open letters collecting hundreds testimonies against their own schools (culture, lack of action of the leadership etc)

The everyone's invited is posting collection of testimonies which are entirely anonymous and isolated. they are there to read, but are less of a targeted, structured and argumentized effort.

The trouble is @strugglinginswlondon (and I totally agree with you) is that it's so normalised now. My dds would laugh at me if I were to do it, (and would probably never tell me anything again!) I just don't know what the school would do, would they be that concerned if we're talking 16 year olds (they started younger but it's too late to report that now...)

Trying to be optimistic but in our profession (law) laddish sexism is no longer tolerated you have to be extremely careful how you behave etc rightly so this has changed since I was perved over as a trainee. Know it’s more difficult in schools but shows it is possible?

The only way we’ll make big progress is for parents to work together and create a zero tolerance towards such behaviour.

DC got attention first due to the open letter from a named ex-student didn’t it?

Lanique that is so awful.

Also I have seem the comments and videos on TikTok. There is a nasty underbelly of misogyny among young men today. These echo chambers, many of whom are comprised of angry incels, are I'm sure part of the problem.

My dds are friends on SM with pupils at a famous local public school. Dd1 jokes about how all the girls she knows that go there started doing underwear mirror shots within a short time of joining. There is a very alpha culture at this school and it seems to be expected of the girls to go along with this, in order to fit in.

Not saying it doesn't go on at dds' school (state) it just seems to be less 'obligatory' somehow.

As a traditional feminist, this pressure to conform is such a way concerns me greatly.

Loads of accounts from many different schools on the website. Both state and private. Why have a few particular private schools been singled out in the press? The media is doing no favours to any young person in any school by instigating the idea that sexual abuse is limited to such and such school and by implication, other schools are 'safe'.

I was generally shocked at the extent of the sexual bullying/assault but not about private versus state.

What shocked me most was that those who have a duty of care turned a blind eye, at best.

I hope the other schools that were named are not thinking they got away with it just because DC are bearing the brunt of the hammering, even if the extent in the latter was far worse (not saying it was).

There has to be zero tolerance on this behaviour and zero tolerance of staff who neglect to fulfill their duties in this respect.

I think pushing sexual behaviour under the carpet is not just in private schools. That is everywhere too. I do not think parents really think about sexual behaviour of teens when choosing a school when their DC is 9 or 10.

I was just thinking about how widespread this type of behaviour is. This is not sexual, but a female relative used to live in Sheffield. In her leafy villagy area, a woman going to a pub on a Sunday lunchtime was called "a pudding burner". Her boyfriend was urged to get her back into the kitchen. I would assume the sons of these men are now exhibiting the same anti femal traits. It is in society and the women have put up with it foir generations. It is seen as banter but it is attempting to control. The boys in the web site seem to know no boundaries and treat girls badly. Is it from porn or it is in their homes? Their culture? The homes and cultures where women have low status.

Many religions see women in a less than equal light too. Women cannot say anything. The men/boys are put on pedesals. Their behaviour is not questioned. The schools will have difficulty with this too. The sexual grooming cases brought this into the light. However, do we know that the boys in these homes are not being raised in exactly the same way right now? We even had the men in positions of power thinking it was the fault of the girls.

Also, what about all the excuses for "laddish" and "laddette" behaviour. The notion of "what happens on tour, stays on tour". Many parents did not seem to mind their girls and boys behaving badly with sexual innuendo rife. Everyone (well not me!) used to to think it was feminism and liberating fun for the girls. Only prudes did not join in - but now it appears it has put girls back light years if they did not want to be like that. They were not seen as "fun" by the boys and were ridiculed about it. Ditto the boys who were not "cool".

The culture of sex and porn and not caring about bad behaviour needs to change in all sectors of society. Not just schools. Parents must get on board with this. Obviously not all boys are like this but there are too many sectors of society where boys are not challenged and are allowed to grow up without good guidance.

Completely agree it is everywhere. I think why people are shocked abo it fee paying schools is that parents openly pick fee paying schools believing/quoting that their DC will avoid these sort of bullies. But fee paying schools are no different to any other institution in that there are bullies everywhere. And I think people are also shocked at the pushing under the carpet allegations that is not what you pay for - you pay for zero tolerance.

That was always going to be inevitable once it gained nationwide status. I think the idea that this is confined in a small number of schools in London is a limited reaction. It is newsworthy but it disguises what is going on everywhere. And it is everywhere. Soma Sara needed to speak out.

Posted too soon.
She also writes that the demographic of testimonies being added since the first days has widened considerably.

This is what the founder of ‘Everyone’s Invited’ has written.

“Seeing this long-overdue discussion being narrowed down to private schools is disappointing. There are logical reasons for this initial bias. The platform is still new, and it has grown through word of mouth, with friends sharing it with friends. I went to a private school and then a university in London. As a result, we received an abundance of testimonies from certain areas and groups to begin with, so this early data is not representative.“

There is a link to the article in another thread but I don’t know how to link the article.

Please listen to this officer and tell on boys selling drugs and doing other things. If the school were ignoring warning signs, then so are the parents
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/03/29/hand-son-police-responsible-sex-assault-senior-officer-tells/

Missed a bit from previous post - the founder of thevwrbsite was speaking on the BBC news yesterday.

So I hope that will have been high profile enough to end the 'othering' (ie that it's private schools with the problem) and that the new impetus will mean that all schools and everyone will take this seriously

The founder of the Everyone's Invited website says that accounts are being added all the time, and that it is not/not a private schools phenomenon. It's just as much in the state sector and is in universities.

DC got it in the neck because of the MSM attention. There is however no reason to think that it has a worse problem than anywhere else.

I don't think it's a problem specific to public schools. These stories are a microcosm of an increasingly misogynistic culture. The fact that it is happening in private schools - on their turf as it were - might possibly make this particular government start to take the issue seriously.

If you know who is selling drugs, tell the school. I have the benefit of hindsight here. My DC weren't involved and I left it to parents in the year group of the seller ... 20 years on, one of them is dead, drugs related, and the others are pretty wrecked, unable to work etc. i wish I had spoken up.

Noticeably, the frequent poster on the HE board who is a Westminster parent, has been silent on this and other similar threads. Head in the sand is often the default policy at many schools and by many parents. It’s always someone else’s problem.

The overall problem is the lack of respect some boys show to girls. It’s ludicrous to think this is solely in private schools. The Rochdale gangs were not privately educated. Or indeed similar ones elsewhere.

How many parents of boys know what porn is on their phones? How many parents truly know what is influencing their boys? The boys with access to party houses are a tiny minority. Nothing will ever change if this is seen as just a problem for a few privileged boys. It’s a wide problem and now 92% of posters on the Everyone’s Included are state schools pupils. That makes total sense but the shock horror reports will always be few paying schools. Bog standard comp in Rochdale is not of much interest, is it?

365sleepstogo I was surprised the focus shifted from Westminster which I would class as the tier 1 private compared to DC which is tier 2. The fees alone are 10k more than DC and it is known to be an elite school with a large number going to oxbridge. I wonder if it is deliberate- Westminster was first to appear in the press and quickly focus has turned - Westminster was in the news last year too for racism but that went quiet too www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8419413/amp/Westminster-School-accused-toxic-culture-racism-250-former-pupils.html

DC seems to be getting the brunt of it on here and possibly in the papers compared with other similar schools (Westminster, KCS, St. Paul’s).